Nightmarch 30 April 2003

[PattayaPete]

A Crazy birthday: From 8:00 p.m. on Saturday night 3 May, Crazy Dave, the proprietor of the appropriately named Crazy Dave’s beer boozer and noshery (Soi Chaiyapoom) will be celebrating his birthday. A free buffet will be rolled out and, according to Dave, even the normally despised balloon chasers are welcome to come down and partake of the vitals. The boozer will make sure everyone gets in a happy mood by also plying punters with free shots of whisky throughout the evening.

 

Too spicy a birthday: On 10 April, the team in the Spicy Girls Too ogling den (Pattayaland Soi 1) celebrated Gary’s birthday in style. In an attempt to lure custom away from the fleshpots of Walking Street, the management of the den has recently begun opening at 4:00 p.m., although the dancing maidens don’t begin to strut their stuff until 7:00 p.m. That’s when happy hour kicks off, with draught amber nectar, house liver wasters and Thai rotgut at just 40 baht until 9:00 p.m.

There’s also a new manager and mamasan and the music style was described to me by Gary as “Atlantic soul”. The chrome pole palace is now stocking the Filipino amber drop San Miguel as well as the Aussie pair of Foster’s and Victoria Bitter (at 120 baht a bottle) and Weihenstephaner. I’m reliably informed that the latter is not some form of rabid mongrel or German marching tune, but in fact comes from the oldest brewery in the world. I don’t know how any Thai serving wench is going to get her tongue around that. I have trouble saying it, and I’m sober most of the time (Yeah! Ed.).

 

Lolipop licks up a storm: The relatively new den-on-the-block, Lolipop (Soi 2) held its first dance contest on 11 April with 14 participants representing seven chrome pole palaces. Run along similar lines to the successful Diamond (Soi Diamond) promotions, the winner came from the Pretty Girl den (Walking Street), the runner-up from Diamond and third position went to a local hope from Lolipop.

 

Other competing bars were Big Willies (Soi Diamond), Dollhouse (Walking Street), Nui’s (Soi 15, off Walking Street) and Kittens (Naklua Road).

 

Lolipop has a lengthy happy hour that runs from 7:00 p.m. until 10:00 p.m. with Chang amber fluid, house liver wasters, Thai rotgut and lolly water at just 45 baht.

The next competition is Friday 9 May commencing at 8:30 p.m. which, given Thai time, means around 9:00 p.m.

 

Sniffing around the traps: The Peppermint ogling den (Walking Street) is still holding onto the number one position in town and in a minor but interesting change the ‘office’ has been replaced by the ‘sports club’ where two or three young ladies wearing white tops and short black skirts make unusual attempts at performing physical exercise. However, the girls really will have to learn to sit like a lady.

 

Peppermint is continuing with its highly successful happy hour promotion from 8-9:30 p.m. with draught amber fluid, lolly water, house liver wasters and Thai rotgut at just 35 baht.

 

It’s sister chrome pole palace, Happy (Walking Street) is also continuing the same happy hour, although this really does only last for sixty minutes, from 8-9:00 p.m. They’ve also introduced a single table dancer, almost dressed in a skimpy white T-shirt and short black skirt, to give gynaecology students a closer look at their chosen subject.

 

If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em, and that’s exactly what The Dollhouse ogling den (Walking Street) is doing by extending its happy hour from 7:30-9:30 p.m. and offering standard libations at just 30 baht.

 

Club Electric Blue (Walking Street) continues to draw students of the female anatomy with its happy hour from 7:30-8:30 p.m. although its 25-baht thirst quenchers only apply to house liver wasters and Thai rotgut. The serving wenches on the upper deck are obviously not making enough money as they can only afford to wear T-shirts that leave their tender young chests exposed to the elements. Later in the evening there are a couple of shows that would have made the denizens of Lesbos blush, especially when one of their number straps on the sort of plastic appendage most males can replicate in a mirror maze.

 

Simply Blues Cafe, the feeding bit of Club Electric Blue, has closed after what must be one of the shortest openings. Especially so when the investment has been considered. Those I know who tried this short lived operation provided good reports saying the food was better than the general dross level of Walking Street. Maybe that is why the prices were considered to be a tad high. It is rumoured that owner Andy has trashed 3 million Baht on this 6 week project. Given the general dearth of tourists in fun town the closure looks premature. I am told he is now going to use the space to create yet another go-go. As if there are not enough already! Given the location and view a restaurant would seem to have been a better option.

 

Six of the best: The sixth Diamond ogling den (Soi Diamond) dance contest on 25 April was once again a success with chrome pole molesters from Big Willies (Soi Diamond), Honey (Walking Street), Lolipop (Soi 2), and What’s Up (Soi 15, off Walking Street) competing against the home team.

 

For the first time in the series, a girl from Diamond won the event, defeating What’s Up and Big Willies. The seventh in the series of contests will be held on Wednesday 21 May, starting around 9:30 p.m.

 

Worth a silver star: The latest addition to the ranks of chrome pole palaces in town is the Silver Star on Soi 8, next door to The Alamo beer boozer and indoor golfing arena. Regulars to Fun Town will remember the place when it was the Paradise Club and then as Silver Street.

 

Although the dancing maidens are attired in those awful kitchen curtain skirts and the music is the usual DJ-inspired car alarm style, the place seems to have recruited some of the friendliest chrome pole huggers in town. Only Spicy Girls (Pattayaland Soi 1) seems to employ maidens as convivial. They’re not pushy for drinks and equally, the serving wenches don’t do the point-the-finger-and-bend-the-elbow routine to induce you to purchase a liquid refreshment.

 

The shows and general format seem to have a lot in common with top-notch places like Super Baby and Super Girl (Soi Diamond) and it wouldn’t surprise me if there is a connection. Drinks prices range from 55 baht for draught amber nectar to an inexplicable 85 baht for lolly water and 105 baht for liver wasters. Given the strange pricing structure, especially for Soi 8, I wasn’t surprised to see a lot of punters guzzling the draught beer.

 

Budget entertainment: For many expats and regular visitors the Wednesday and Sunday Quiz Leagues provide a couple of hours entertainment away from the hustle and hassle of chrome pole palaces and beer boozers. However, sometimes the Quizittes (and the occasional Quizette) get a little ‘extra’ and this was certainly the case at The Bunker (Soi Chaiyapoom) when, after defeating the Denis The Menace-led OK Corral (Soi Skaw Beach), they were subjected to a rendition of Elvis Presley tunes belted out in one-chord disharmony by a travelling troubadour who looked like Elvis: after his demise. If prizes were handed out for the world’s worst Elvis impersonator, this guy would be guaranteed to make the finals. That said, everyone in The Bunker was smiling during his performance. Or they were all breaking wind.

 

My e-mail address is: nightmarch@hotmail.com

Author of Pattaya "Patpong on steroids"

No reproduction without specific reference to: nightmarch@hotmail.com

[Gary]

Great report Pete, keep them coming. I for one appreciate the effort. See you soon.

 

Gary

[OM3N]

Agreed, I personally like this section, good to be up on the latest happenings in pattaya. But what in gods name is lolly water!?

[nightmarch]

Hi guys,

Thanks for the kind words.

Lolly water= soft drinks