'Bringing them home?

[OzNoomLaw 0]

Hey all.

 

First post on this board & its probably going to be a familiar story to a lot of you.

 

Just come back from my 3rd Pattaya trip & now I'm back home & counting off the 6 months till I can get a holiday to go back.

Anyway . I met a really wonderful TG this trip (not a bar girl, works in a salon , met her at Royal Garden shopping centre) , and I'm thinking of bringing her here to Sydney for a few months and putting her on a language course,  while Im working. After that showing her a bit of Australia after. She tells me she is all for it , but can you really tell?

 

Well I guessed probably a lot you here have been in this position, so is it a good idea? . Are Thai's really interested in seeing the world, is it going to be to much of a culture shock for her. Is it worth the hassle of getting a visa or should I just forget it and wait for the next trip.

[bigbear 0]

Took you three trips to fall eh?  Pretty good record I'd say.  Reading this board you can see that this question has been answered many times both ways.  Likewise, the results are rather predictable.  Sometimes it works out but more often not.  

 

My experiece is mainly in the Philippines but the scene is basically the same.  Beautiful women looking for a way out of a third world country.  Just going abroad is a big deal.  Sometimes just having that visa stamp in the passport is an advantage for future travel.  

 

Filipinas are somewhat different as far as stateside and Oz travel goes.  There are large Filipino communities in the both countries and since most Filipino's speak English it's an easy transition.  A more permanent transition is usually desired.  

 

I know a few Thai/American couples who brought the wife/gf from the home country and it can be a big shock.  Virtually no community and tremendous language barriers.  

 

You don't say much about your relationship with this woman, but you have to be the judge of what's best for you and for her.  The fact that you're asking for advice suggests that you are the cautious type.  If it's true, don't act out of character on impulse.  Be cautious.  If six months is not too long for you to wait then do so.  

 

Whatever you're choice, wish you the best of luck.

 

Bear

[jimmybcool 0]

I would like to second the be cautious comment.  Look, these girls aren't evil.  They just want to get ahead same as any of us.

 

But consider, you meet the big boss (CEO) of the company.  You are on your best behavior.   Laugh at all his jokes, make sure he is having fun.  Hope to get noticed for a promotion.  Your real self is stifled to present a better than you impression.

 

Same thing.  Only, they have lots of big bosses and it is a personal service which allows them a larger measure of control.

 

I have to say it is hard to consider any of them "not on the game".  Frankly, do you really think you are the first farang this salon girl has worked her charms on?   Does having a day job and only working freelance part time mean she is  different  from the bar girls?  Only in degree.

 

I have a lady friend in Pattaya that has a fiancee in a foreign land (left unnamed).  He calls her every day to check up on her.  Usually, she is in her room, but if she is with me she runs to the bathroom for quiet and chats with him.  He sends her money every month.

 

So why does she go with me?  Well, the farang obviously listened to his mates that the average thai makes 5000 baht a  month, so he sends her xyz baht and feels it is enough, despite her telling him she needs more to quit work.  If he sent more would she be faithful?  Nah.  If I came to town she would be with me in a minute.  Why?  Good money and she does like it a bit I think.  And if he never finds out she has it all.

 

This is kind of long winded.  But what I;m really trying to say is, chances are your girl has another farang or two on the hook.  She is trying to improve her lot in life.  Her feelings for you are not the western version of love we all grew up with.  If you understand all this and still want her to come, do it.  It is possible she is one of the ones with a heart of gold who wants a stable life and family and will make you a good partner.  And away from the bar scene she might be very happy to settle down.

 

Good luck.

[growler 0]

At least the lady in question will not find the weather a  total culture shock like she would if going anywhere in Northern Europe.

I hope everything works out for you. :)  

[tom_pitt 0]

Oz,

my take on this kind of situation has to do with deciding to be an optimist or pessimist based on possible outcomes rather than on intuition or facts. If the consequences are not dire, be an optimist, if the consequences are potentially catastrophic, be a pessimist.

for example, your chances of getting hiv from a bar girl are quite slim. but since hiv is so serious, you would be nuts not to wear a condom during the act.

So, if you are not planning to mortgage your house to pay for her trip, if it's not big money for you to finance her, be optimistic. if, on the other hand, you're betting a big chunk of your change on her being there for you, then be pessimistic. this also applies to emotional investment, if you are the type who falls in love hard. if you're like me and a broken heart makes you a melodramatic, morose moron, i'd be very pessimistic/skeptical.

like jimmy said, these girls are not evil, but their self-interest generally (not always) excludes taking others' feelings into account, they can be like sociopaths.

having said that, i took my gf stateside and had a wonderful time with her, she wanted to stay. culture shock was minimal for her, I don't know why, but she does come from bkk, which can be a factor. so it can be and is done successfully.

As Damom Runyon said, "the race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet"

good luck

[BobbySanuk 0]

Oz,

 

I sounds to me like you are planning to bring her home for and extended vacation.  Great go for it.  If it works out take it from there.  If not you will both have alot of memories.

 

Good Luck.  Enjoy!

[fruitti88 0]

I agree with u all above. just feel like adding a bit of my thinkings ::

 

depends on how old she is, if she is under 25, she probably can have more fun staying in LOS and cheating farangs, after 25, she'd realized that ::

 

1/ it is getting harder and harder for getting willful farangs to send her money all the time

2/ it is getting harder for her to get employed by any kind of biz

3/ thai man no longer interested in her

 

so - if she encounter opportunity to get out of the rat-race in her home-country, she'd jump into it !!

[fishingtime 0]

It is a hard road that you are thinking about taking. Be very careful not to become to involved until you know what is a head around the turns so to speak. In the end what we the other posters say really doesn't matter all that much because you have to live with the choice that you make.

[OzNoomLaw 0]

Hi guys,

 

 

Thanks for all the comments, I probably didnt make it clear but I only want her to come over for a holiday , I'm certainly not thinking of anything serious.

 

As to whether she has a string of other farangs , probably she does & good luck to her.

 

Anyway's she speaks very good English , and is quite intelligent & sensible ( I've noticed the ones from Bangkok or around are much more mature than the "village" girls) , so I think she should have a good time.  

 

Now to sort all the visa hassles out.

 

Thanks.

[fishingtime 0]

Hi guys,

 

Thanks for all the comments, I probably didnt make it clear but I only want her to come over for a holiday , I'm certainly not thinking of anything serious...

Thanks.

 

Nothing wrong with a visit and you seem to have your head (mind)  in the right place.

[wish_puff 0]

Only one other consideration?

 

Do you have any pets????

 

 

 

smile

[andyk 0]

I would advise you all not to bring any home,just have you fun out there , there you are king ,as soon as you bring them back you become pauper and the courts are after you .

[Crackpot 2]

I would advise you all not to bring any home,just have you fun out there , there you are king ,as soon as you bring them back you become pauper and the courts are after you .

 

Nahhh I brought one back for 3 months in 1986. It was a lot of fun. She knew there wasnt going to be any marriage proposals or anything and she was fine when it was time to go home.

I met my present Thai wife of 14 years, a year or two later and am quite happy.

I would like to mention though that I think its VERY dangerous marrying a Thai untill you know a bit about whats 'inside their head', their culture and basic lifestyle.

 

A friend married one and took her to New Zealand after only knowing her for 3 months. 2 months later she tried to stab him ! This was aftre me and several others saying she was a little strange in the head.

[Tony125 0]

HI, don't see what the problem is no matter what she is, if only coming over for  a 3 to 6 month visit just enjoy your time togther. If something more developes so be it.  I just had Buddist marrige cerimony in March , she will be coming here in nov on fiancee visa but if she doesn't like it here she can go back. Been going to Thailand and have known her and some other girls since April 2000. 2 of my friends already married Thai girls ( one college other bar girl) and they have a kid by them and are both happy. My girl from good family is why had to have marrige cerimony there befor she came over(could not live with guy and not be married :) College girl with batchelors degree in business ---dont see any problem bringing your girl over for long visit except falling in love with her. :)

[OzNoomLaw 0]

Hey guys,

 

Well its all a mute point for me now , because the embassy rejected her tourist visa application. Despite a few letters and a lot of faxes there reasoning is I cant provide any evidence I have known her long enough (I did only meet her this July). Though they wont exactly tell me what "long enough" is , seems to vary between 3 months and 12 months depending who I talk to.

 

 

Well I guess this is the bad side of Australia's tough immigration policies.

 

Guess I will try it again later this year.