BBC double-entendres

[BigusDicus 9,881]

Twelve of the finest (unintentional) double-entendres ever aired on British TV and radio

 

 

1. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - 'This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.'

 

2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - 'Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.'

 

3. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - 'And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!'

 

4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - 'Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew.'

 

5. US PGA Commentator - 'One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them... Oh my god!! What have I just said?'

 

6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said: 'You'd eat beaver if you could get it.'

 

7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, 'So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?' Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!

 

8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: 'Ballesteros is feeling great today after a 69 yesterday.'

 

9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on 'Look North' said: 'There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this. '

 

10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on 'Sky Sports': 'Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets.'

 

11. Michael Buerk on watching Philippa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: 'They seem cold out there. They're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts.'

 

12. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: 'Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny; other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.'

[pattaya_mad 208]

[joekicker 53]

Good ones, the sort of list you hope all of them are true.

 

I remember weeks when the only reason to buy Private Eye was the Colemanballs - ALWAYS good.

 

.

[maahuanao 20]

How about - The batsman's Holding, the bowler's Willey.

[pattaya_mad 208]

the snooker commentator back in the 70s , for those of you watching in black and white the yellow ball is behind the blue!

[davebowk 13]

Murry Walker - Thast inches away from being millimeter perfect.

[DrPat 423]

How about - The batsman's Holding, the bowler's Willey.

 

This commentary (about cricketers Michael Holding and Peter Willey) is one of my favourites, along with…

 

The piece on the UK kids show ‘Blue Peter’ featured the original Durham cathedral sanctuary doorknocker along with a recently produced replica. At the beginning of the next item presenter Simon Groom commented, “What a lovely pair of knockers”.

 

And, my all time favourite, from the Fanny Cradock cookery programme of the 1950’s and 60’s. After she had demonstrated how to make doughnuts, Fanny Cradock’s husband Johnny commented, “Well, I hope all of your doughnuts look like Fanny’s”