86 year old man

[brotherbuzz 3,206]

An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up

The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the 86-year-old said ,'Things are great and I've never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. So what do you think about that Doc ?

The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began to tell a story. I have an older friend , much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season. One day he was setting off to go hunting. In a bit of a hurry , he accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. As he neared a lake , he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water's edge. He realized he'd left his gun at home and so he couldn't shoot the magnificent creature. Out of habit he raised his cane , aimed it at the animal as if it were his favorite hunting rifle and went 'bang, bang'.' 'Miraculously , two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead. Now, what do you think of that ? asked the doctor.

The 86-year-old said Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver."

The doctor replied , My point exactly.

[atlas2 4,329]

Reminds me……..(as you always do) of another 86 year old in a similar position.

 

On his yearly check-up his Dr asked how things were and the old guy says…..

 

"Great Doc! In fact I've just got married again…….She's lovely and only 19!! I'm so lucky and so in love! Doc I meant to ask you do you have any tips for a good marriage…..? I know I can't take her out dancing every night but I want to make her……you know happy……and content. Any suggestions?"

 

The Doctor looked kindly at the shriveled old bloke opposite him and said, "Sometimes, in er, these situations, it helps to take in a lodger. You know, so she doesn't get lonely when you're out."

 

"Thanks Doctor I think that's a good idea."

 

 

 

The next year he trots back into the surgery for his check-up……. The Doctor says, "All clear Mr Smith. Actually you're in quite remarkable health for your age. Er…... how's your wife? Is marriage to a much younger woman all you thought it would be?"

 

Beaming he says... "Things couldn't be better at home……..My wife's pregnant!!"

 

The Doctor looked over his spectacles and asks with a rueful smile…… "May I ask if you took my advice and took in a lodger……?"

 

"I did, I did!……….And she's pregnant too!"

Edited September 14, 2014 by atlas2

[gs joe 1,776]

Reminds me……..(as you always do) of another 86 year old in a similar position.

 

On his yearly check-up his Dr asked how things were and the old guy says…..

 

"Great Doc! In fact I've just got married again…….She's lovely and only 19!! I'm so lucky and so in love! Doc I meant to ask you do you have any tips for a good marriage…..? I know I can't take her out dancing every night but I want to make her……you know happy……and content. Any suggestions?"

 

The Doctor looked kindly at the shriveled old bloke opposite him and said, "Sometimes, in er, these situations, it helps to take in a lodger. You know, so she doesn't get lonely when you're out."

 

"Thanks Doctor I think that's a good idea."

 

 

 

The next year he trots back into the surgery for his check-up……. The Doctor says, "All clear Mr Smith. Actually you're in quite remarkable health for your age. Er…... how's your wife? Is marriage to a much younger woman all you thought it would be?"

 

Beaming he says... "Things couldn't be better at home……..My wife's pregnant!!"

 

The Doctor looked over his spectacles and asks with a rueful smile…… "May I ask if you took my advice and took in a lodger……?"

 

"I did, I did!……….And she's pregnant too!"

Reminds me of Dr Pat post "sex and the older guy " but it's a good tale ,

 

Joe

[DrPat 423]

Reminds me of Dr Pat post "sex and the older guy " but it's a good tale ,

 

Joe

 

Yes, I thought I'd read / written something similar quite recently.

[brotherbuzz 3,206]

Yes, I thought I'd read / written something similar quite recently.

Sorry 'bout that, I don't venture here as often as I should, obviously. Found that one on an unrelated forum and found it amusing, so 'borrowed' it.

[atlas2 4,329]

Sorry 'bout that, I don't venture here as often as I should, obviously. Found that one on an unrelated forum and found it amusing, so 'borrowed' it.

 

 

I thought it was referenced to 'my' joke! We all get them from somewhere, so apologies are never necessary…… In my case it was from an 80 year old uncle who also told me this one……..

 

As the young fit milkman clattered two pints onto the doorstep he heard a shout from the opened bedroom window above.

 

"Milky can you come up and help me? The front door's not locked." Milky knew an old man lived there and thought he was in trouble. He flew up the stairs, opened the bedroom door and was confronted with the wrinkled arse of the old man bent over the nubile body of his fresh young bride.

 

"Milky…….. I can't get on! I've been trying all bloody night. Can you lift me on please mate?"

 

Apologising to the young lady, and doing his best to avert his eyes the milkman manages to lift the old bloke on.

 

'Thanks mate'.

 

"Er….no problem.

 

Strolling back to his milk-cart, amazed at the site he'd just witnessed, he suddenly thought of something?

 

He walked back and called up at the window…"How you going to get off?"

 

There was a grunt and the old man shouted down cheerfully………"You're coming back on Thursday ain't yer?"

Edited September 14, 2014 by atlas2

[brotherbuzz 3,206]

 

 

We all get them from somewhere, so apologies are never necessary……

True, but a bit of humility is good for me now and then.

[Bushcraft 2,581]

Another 86 year-old chap recently bit the dust with a massive heart-attack.

For 60 years he had been in the habit of taking his wife upstairs for a leisurely bit of afternoon delight after Sunday lunch.

With advancing age he had taken to timing his strokes to the chime of the local church bells.

What saw him off? The Mr. Whippy ice-cream van turned into the street.

[atlas2 4,329]

The girl last night started undulating and grinding in that circular motion. She asked me if she looked sexy?

I said you look like Mr Whippy having a shit!!!