Monkeywatch - December 2025

[monkeyman]

Greetings Monkeywatchers, showaddy crap to a cool yule, and welcome to the Christmas edition of Monkeywatch – which is the same as all the others. Humbug.

Walking Street seems to be something of a talking point at the moment as city leaders wrestle with the street’s rapid decline in popularity with international tourists who now refer to it using names like Little India, Mumbai Village and George Foreman – oh sorry, that should be Mohammed Alley. Mind you, there are other points of contention too, like rip-off prices for drinks and ladies, and touts selling tickets to ping-pong shows that turn out to be table tennis matches. Anyway, while the city officials are insistent that Walking Street can be revived, they seem to have bugger all idea of how to do it. Maybe that idyllic artist’s impression of a future look for the Walking Street area that they commissioned a few years ago could be the solution? Nah, only kidding.

Rescuers pulled 12 people out of Pattaya Bay after the fishing vessel they were travelling in sank off the coast of Koh Larn. The victims said they were going to visit Koh Larn but didn’t want to use the ferry as “they’d heard it wasn’t safe.” Good job they weren’t taking the ferry to Koh Kood as that one sank as well.     

Police received a complaint from some residents in Pattaya after 1.14 million baht of their money went missing. They probably got their pockets picked by ladyboys on Beach Road. Still, it makes a change from 50,000 baht gold necklaces.

Now here’s something you don’t see every day…

 

Motorcycle accidents are of course common in Pattaya, but rather less usual was a case the other week of a motorcyclist who actually died while he was riding along on his bike. The bike predictably crashed and a girl who was riding astride the petrol tank was injured. She must be what they call a tank slapper.

A bar host caused a huge traffic jam in Naklua when he passed out at the wheel of his car. Authorities moved his car off the road and took him to the police station where the police doctor examined him and concluded that his condition was caused by him being ‘pissed as a fart.’

Minor injuries were sustained by a drunken woman after she collided with a parked car in East Pattaya. Police observed that the accident could have been far worse if she’d been driving a vehicle at the time.

Yeah, sure…

   

Bar news time, and it looks like Milk has gone sour and bitten the dust once again. We have some new places open though. Eden A Go Go has opened on Walking Street, and we also have Spicy Saparot A Go Go on LK Metro and Heat Lounge A Go Go on Soi Lengkee.

An American was injured after he plummeted from a second floor balcony in South Pattaya. Reports that he was in training for the so-called Pattaya Flying Club have been dismissed.

Meet the Ghost of Christmas Past now with a bumper rummage into the Santa sack of Monkeywatch in December 2015…

“The discussions about enforcing the ban on bars in Pattaya being situated within 300 metres of all educational establishments (or 500 metres depending on who you listen to) have been adjourned with no agreement reached. Shame, as we thought this ban was a good idea. There’s nothing worse than the sound of noisy kids when you’re having a short-time in the afternoon. It’s been said that a ban could close many bars in Pattaya, even extending to Walking Street, but they clearly overlooked a much more satisfactory way of complying with such regulations. Close all the feckin’ schools.  

Pattaya is on a heightened state of alert following reports that two members of so-called Islamic Stinking Pig are on their way to the city in order to blow everybody on Walking Street to buggery. In response to this, police apprehended one Muslim and carried out a controlled explosion on what they thought was a stick of explosive in his trousers but turned out to be his penis. Oh well, at least some good came out of it. Don’t suppose he’ll have the balls to try anything now.

A Thai village chief is being commended after handing in a bag containing over $6,000 which he found next to a swimming pool in a Pattaya hotel. Police described the man as ‘a model public spirited citizen’, while his wife described him as ‘a dickhead’.

Thailand is supporting this year’s International Anti-Corruption Day with the motto “Transparent Thailand”. Presumably because everybody will see through it in an instant.”

A new Indian restaurant. Just what we need…

 

Pattaya officials are looking to develop what they call “creative nightlife tourism.” Funny that, as all the bars that tried something like this in the past had a three year closure order slapped on them.

A tourist who was reported missing after he told his friends he was going potholing has been found in a short-time room in Soi Chaiyapoon.

An Immigration Police raid on a so-called safe house in Pattaya resulted in the arrest of 17 Indian nationals, most of whom were found to have overstayed their visas. Wasn’t too safe for them, was it? Also found was a small bottle of beer and 17 straws. Some say that Indians have saved Pattaya as tourist numbers from other countries have dropped dramatically, while others say that Indians are the reason why the other tourists stopped coming in the first place. Hang on, isn’t this where we came in?

Well, that’s it for another year. Wasn’t very Christmassy was it?

Wishing you all a Very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

 

be seeing you

monkeyman

   

[teelack]

Actually I find that there is wisdom mixed in with the mirth. Well done for taking aim at the aimless.
Already looking forward to next month's targets.

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[Bushcraft]

Nice one, lightened the generally gloomy mood around town.

[teelack]

Nice one, lightened the generally gloomy mood around town.

When you say lightened...
Sure you are not Monkeyman in disguise?


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