BigusDicus

H

Excellent, thank you.

My Bridget and I went to the auction in Cork the other week and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said, 'THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR' My Bridget playfully nudged me in the ribs ......smiled and said, 'He mated 50 times last year, that's almost once a week.' We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, 'THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR' My Bridget gave me a healthy jab and said, 'WOW~~That's more than twice a week ! ...........You could learn a lot from him.' We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters, 'THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR' My Bridget was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs, and said, 'That's once a day ..You could REALLY learn something from this one.' I looked at her and said, 'Go over and ask him if every time was with the same old cow.' My condition has been upgraded from critical to stable and I should eventually make a full recovery.

An evangelical minister and a politician arrived at Heaven’s gate one day together. And St. Peter, after doing all the necessary formalities, took them in hand to show them where their quarters would be. And he took them to a small, single room with a bed, a chair, and a table and said this was for the clergyman. And the politician was a little worried about what might be in store for him. And he couldn’t believe it then when St. Peter stopped in front of a beautiful mansion with lovely grounds… many servants, and told him that these would be his quarters. And he couldn’t help but ask, he said, “But wait, how–there’s something wrong–how do I get this mansion while that good and holy man only gets a single room?” And St. Peter said, “You have to understand how things are up here. We’ve got thousands and thousands of clergy. You’re the first politician who ever made it.” 40 years ago today President Reagan began his “Evil Empire” speech with this joke.

What did Spartacus say when the lion ate his wife? Nothing, he was gladiator.

That's why I always keep a change of clothes handy ...

This year I am giving up Hershey's chocolate for Lindt.

Outstanding as always!