BigusDicus

Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they arrive, St. Peter says, “We only have one rule here in heaven: Don't step on the ducks!” So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on a duck. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, “Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!” The next day, the second woman accidentally steps on a duck, and along comes St. Peter, who without missing a beat, brings with him another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman. The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on: Very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. The happy woman says, “I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?” The guy says, “I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!”

Beatles or Sugar Hill Gang?

Breaking news a cheese factory in France explodes. Eyewitness reports of De-Brie everywhere.d

A man was in a hospital bed wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth. "Nurse" he mumbles, "Are my testicles black?" The nurse raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other. She takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them sir." The man pulls off the oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly: "Thanks for that. It was lovely but listen very very carefully ... Are-my-test-results-back?!"