BigusDicus

Jayne Mansfield shopping in grocery store, circa 1957. Make up your own punchlines. They'll all work.

Wouldn't surprise me at all. Cats have it in for us, the little nihilistic bastards.

Bob walked into a sports bar around 5:58 PM. He sat down next to a very attractive blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 6 PM news was coming on. The news crew was covering the story of a man on the ledge of a large building preparing to jump. The blonde looked at Bob and said, "Do you think he'll jump?" Bob said, "You know, I reckon he'll jump." The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't." Bob placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, "You're on!" The blonde placed her money on the bar, and kept watching the scene on the telly. The guy on the ledge did a swan dive off the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset, but willingly handed her $20 to Bob. "Fair's fair. Here's your money." Bob replied, "I can't take your money. I saw this earlier on the 5 PM news, so I knew he would jump." The blonde replied, "I did, too, but I didn't think he'd do it again." Bob took the money!