BigusDicus

Women wake up yawning and Men wake up with an erection. Coincidence?

Now *that's* a stiff upper lip ...

Nakatomi - Die Hard

Might be fun to go, but advise taking TOW missiles instead of mistletoe.

Can't decide if this is quantum parking or Schrodinger's parking ...

Last night after I thought all the trick or treaters were gone a boy about 12 years old came to the door. He was dressed in all red, instead of saying trick or treat he says "I am your period, sorry I am late."

A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls. He sat down next to of all people a beautiful blonde. The blonde kept looking quizzically at him and his bulging pockets. Finally after many such glances from her he said, “It’s golf balls.” Nevertheless the blonde continued to look at him thoughtfully and finally, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer asked, “Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?”