Bushcraft

A lady golfer was stung by a wasp just as she was starting her round, so she went back to the clubhouse to get it treated. Inside she happened on the pro and told him why she'd come back early. He asked her where she's got stung. "Between the first and second holes." "Well, I'd say your stance was too wide then."

I always stay at the Eastin Hotel, a really nice, big, luxurious place near enough to anything you and your girl will want to visit. Book via e.g. agoda and pay 2500 Bt or less for a very good room and great breakfast.

Didn't know the 11th is vet's day in the US. So it coincides with our UK tradition of marking the 11th November (or the nearest Sunday to it for the official ceremony) as Remembrance Day. The guns fell silent at 11 am on 11.11.1918 to end the 1st World War. I've always found it ironic that the Germans also mark 11 am on the 11th November as a special day - it's the official start of the carnival season WTF

What's the difference between a vagina and a fridge? A fridge doesn't fart when you take the meat out

Sounds good Jason, hope you do really well. I'll be staying just up the road from you in December and will definitely come in to say hi.

Thanks for getting back to me, good info. I'll get over to Patts soonish and try my luck on the spot.

Hi Jason, we've not met but I've seen your posts re. condos for rent. I'm looking to rent something up to about 20 k per month in either Patts or Jomtien from mid-December for 3 months, possibly much longer. Must have Internet, 2 bedrooms would be nice but not essential. Anything on your books or are my chances slim at this time of year? Thanks in advance for your help. Bushcraft (Ron) PS Tried to send this my email via the Board, but got an error message

You can get hold of Vic on mail@queenvicpattaya.com He usually answers very promptly

It gets worse than this: According to the latest information, breweries have started adding female hormones to beer on the quiet. This is hard to believe, but the effects are too obvious to ignore: after eight to twelve bottles of this pernicious brew, a man has difficulty in driving a car, has to sit down to pee and starts talking a load of nonsense.

Didn't know you live in Patts. I'll be there from 18th to 29th, staying at Queen Vic and going solo. Didn't mean for sparring (sorry about the shoulders), just for a chat if you fancy.

Either of you chaps happen to be the LOS over Christmas? Would be good to chat some more over a quiet pint and several noisy ones...

No offence taken Casper, of course not. Students are trained to develop the stamina for that many punches in that time (e.g. to cope with or discourage multiple attackers), but also to close the distance and use other weapons and footwork if the first ten chain-punches or so haven't done the job on a single adversary, which would be unusual. The rate of fire can certainly be sustained for longer than would normally be considered 'enough' in a serious encounter though. All this is basically in response to the 'nonsense' remark -but before I discovered WingTsun I would have had the same opinion I suppose. I'm not the dogmatic type, and am old enough to know that nothing is perfect or can be - just offering my own view on the OP's question.

Sorry Suitcase, but it ain't nonsense. I've been teaching WingTsun for the last 7 years, and the majority of medium-grade students can deliver those 10-12 hard punches per second and sustain this rate of fire for up to half a minute - I should know, I train them to do it. I've tried most of the rest, and this really is a diabolically intelligent fighting art. Favourite attack targets are of course the bits that no man, however big or strong, can harden or cover with muscle/fat: the eyes, throat and wedding present. These attacks can be appallingly destructive, beyond the conception of those who just dabble in the martial sports (not arts). Those chain-punches (as we call them) are by no means the worst of the WingTsun weapons either.

Good thread this, with some good answers from BMs who've obviously 'been there'. The OP asked what the most effective fighting technique is. Too general a question really - I read this to mean unarmed, highly skilled people from different styles competing for real, with no rules, not what's best against an untrained bully on a Saturday evening. The latter would rightly produce totally different answers (as it has), and at the realistic, day-to-day level. Of course it goes against the entire ethos of the martial arts to attack others without a pressing reason, though it happens. As has already been said, in the end two men and not two styles are in the fight, which brings in the variables whatever the skill level: range, state of mind, physical condition and fighting spirit (what we English call 'bottle'). I think most people who know would agree that two thirds of a fight is won or lost in the mind. Whatever the scenario I still go for WingTsun. The BM who claimed that feet are faster than hands (did I read that right?) is plain wrong for physical/distance reasons alone - WingTsun people can deliver 10-12 effective and accurate punches per second even at student level. There are defences that stop this sub-machine gun from opening up, but they're only taught at very advanced level. If you are not trained in them, you have no chance of staying in the fight for more than a few seconds.

Though some so-called Wing Chun teachers are under the impression that high kicks are part of the style, this is not the case, as it's too risky and Wing Chun/Ving Chun and especially WingTsun - IMHO the very best there is - doesn't take risks. Against a very proficient exponent you lose with mathematical certainty, it's diabolically intelligent and unbelievably destructive. The human mind applied over centuries to inflicting damage to the human body while avoidíng damage to yourself - if a fight is unavoidable. The very worst opponent one can otherwise have is a good wrestler - he has learned to live with pain and will take your best shots (IF you're quick enough) as he takes you to the ground - and that's your lot. Being fleet of foot is great - presence of mind is not as good as absence of body - but what if a loved one is under attack and needs help. Duh...

Australian Joke of the Year 2006: A bloke's wife goes missing while diving off the West Australian coast. He reports the event, searches fruitlessly and spends a terrible night wondering what could have happened to her. Next morning there's a knock at the door and he is confronted by a couple of policemen, the old Sarge and a younger Constable. The Sarge says, 'Mate, we have some news for you, unfortunately some really bad news, but, some good news, and maybe some more good news'. Well,' says the bloke, 'I guess I'd better have the bad news first?' The Sarge says, 'I'm really sorry mate, but your wife is dead. Young Bill here found her lying at about five fathoms in a little cleft in the reef. He got a line around her and we pulled her up, but she was dead.' The bloke is naturally pretty distressed to hear of this and has a bit of a turn. But after a few minutes he pulls himself together and asks what the good news is. The Sarge says, 'Well when we got your wife up there were quite a few really good sized crays and a swag of nice crabs attached to her, so we've brought you your share.' He hands the bloke a big sugar bag with a couple of nice crays and four or five crabs in it. 'Geez thanks. They're bloody beauties. I guess it's an ill wind and all that... So what's the other possible good news?' 'Well', the Sarge says, 'if you fancy a quick trip, me and young Bill here get off duty at around 11 o'clock and we're gonna shoot over there and pull her up again!'

What's the difference between a woman and a fridge? A fridge doesn't fart when you take the meat out.

Doctor phones his patient: I have some bad news and some worse news. Give me the bad news first. Your test results show me that you have just 24 hours to live. What's the worse news? I forgot to phone you yesterday.

What have a short-sighted gynaecologist and a hunting dog got in common? A damp nose What's the word for staying faithful to the same woman for years and years? Monotony A Brit joke: How do you know when your Liverpool girl ís having an orgasm? She drops her chips What do you do if your boiler explodes? Buy her a bunch of flowers Why do female skydivers wear tampons? So they don't whistle on the way down

Stayed at the Vic for a week in February, and if you want to be right at the centre of the action you couldn't find a better place. The standard rooms are ok, while the deluxe rooms are very ok, and I gather the Vic is currently expanding to add more of the latter. Had no complaints whatsoever - it's a haven of air-conditioned sanity when you find you want to touch base with your past (western) life for an hour or two. Vic, the manager, is the most helpful and wryly humurous chap you could wish to meet, especially if it's your first time in Patts. Given the low room prices as well, this is a super hotel to stay at.