Siam Sam

Good Morning Vietnam

The very eccentric and loud: Brian Blessed

I forgot all about the 24 hour rule. Virginia Hey was in: The Living Daylights

Hello there. You have an impressive collection of books in your establishment and I have bought books from you before but I would like to offer a bit of constructive criticism. The condition of many of your books is pretty poor and it has put me off buying some books from you. I appreciate that many of your books come from people on holiday and they may not be in the best condition but sometimes the condition of the book does not justify the price. Also why all the stamps? I can appreciate having one stamp in the book but some of them have several and lots of pieces of paper glued to them?

Porno is very good but if you haven't read Skagboys or Trainspotting yet I would read them first because it will allow you to appreciate the characters and the plot better. Having said that, Skagboys was brought out long after Trainspotting and Porno as a prequel. I've read all three and they're all excellent, Skagboys is my favourite. That book is phenomenal. If you are a stranger to Welsh novels then persevere with the accent, it is difficult to begin with but after I while you get used to it and you get into a rhythm. When you have finished the book you'll be glad you persevered with it, Porno is a very funny book. If you get into Welsh I highly recommend Trainspotting, Marabou Stork Nightmares, Glue, The Bedroom Secrets of the Master Chefs, Crime and Skagboys. In actual fact, I'd recommend any of his novels but those are my personal favourites.

I finished reading Glue by Irvine Welsh and I thought it was brilliant. Ten out of ten. As usual it was written in a broad and raw Edinburgh accent and had a very graphic and explicit content with a mixture of sex, drugs and violence. The characters became so real I felt like I knew them when I had finished the book. As with every Welsh novel I have read it is laugh out loud funny in many places. The genius of Welsh is that his characters are not only controversial and hilarious but they have endearing qualities that evoke sympathy from the reader. In my opinion Welsh is a literary genius and one of the most influential contemporary writers in Britain. I only have to read his latest novel and the preceding two and I've read his entire canon. I'm currently reading L'Assommoir by Emile Zola. It's the seventh novel in the famous Les Rougon-Maquart series. I read Germinal the year before last and I thought it was phenomenal, it's one of the best books I've read so I'm really looking forward to reading this. I was fortunate enough to visit Paris recently and I went to the famous Shakespeare and Company book shop where I also bought a copy of Nana, which is the ninth volume in the series. Quite ironic but Nana is also about a prostitute! Now I don't think I'll ever walk into NEP without remembering that!

I've had a look and this woman was only in five other films other than Mad Max. Doubtful anyone would know one of them unless they're are a huge fan of this woman. Shall I cheat and post one so that we can move on?

Thanks guys. It all sounds a little long winded to me. I can't be bothered if I'm honest.

That's all well and good but all of the photos I have tried to upload recently are more than 2MB in size so what do I do about that?

United have only won five times in their last eighteen games and only scored seventeen goals in those games, two of which were own goals! When you're averaging less than a goal a game you know that there are some serious problems. Six of those games were 0-0 draws. Out of the goals scored, six of them have come in the first half. It's all well and good saying that they are only two points off of Champions League places but that's only because this has been the most unusual Premiership season ever and everybody is dropping points all the time. United are at crisis point and they will not make the Champions League if Van Gaal stays to the end of the season. I wouldn't give him any more money to spend because he can't be trusted and no mater who he buys he will not get the best out of them, only succeeding in stifling them with his boring, negative football. I wonder how bad things have to get before they get rid of him? When they fail to qualify for the Champions League they will definitely get rid of him but what a price to pay? If they lose at Liverpool on Sunday the writing is on the wall. I was fortunate enough to be at the Liverpool game at Old Trafford earlier this season which was one of their best performances.

True Romance

I finished reading A Clergyman's Daughter by George Orwell. I really enjoyed it and it's one of his best novels in my opinion. It's a wonderful tale of social reportage that deals with the hypocrisy of the middle classes in England during the thirties and, as with many of his novels, it also explores poverty. It was a heartwarming story and the end of the novel became philosophical, dealing wit the concepts of life and death. I've only got to read Coming Up For Air and I've read all of Orwell's novels. Orwell is one of my favourite authors and I highly recommend his work, the only novels of his I didn't rate much were Burmese Days and Homage to Catalonia. The rest are all ten out of ten and sublime works of literature. I'm currently reading Glue by Irvine Welsh who is also one of my favourite novelists. Not surprisingly, I'm enjoying it. I'm yet to read an Irvine Welsh novel that I didn't think was brilliant. I highly recommend his work. A literary genius in my opinion and a massive inspiration. Be warned though - his books are mainly written in a broad Scottish accent which takes some getting used to.

That is one thing that definitely won't happen. The job required to turn things round will take more then the rest of this season and Fergie would only tarnish his record at United should he return for the rest of the season. It would never happen. Van Gaal has bought himself some time with a draw against Chelsea but that is all, he will not last beyond January because he has lost the dressing room.

Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

Terry Thomas

United will lose against Chelsea and it'll be the end of the road for Van Gaal. It's an absolute disgrace what is going on at United right now with the money that has been spent. Players like Depay are absolute garbage and need to be fucked of as soon as possible, they should be ashamed of themselves. Fellaini, jesus fucking christ I don't no where to begin with that cunt, he is a fucking awful football player. People like Depay need to understand what a privilege it is to play for this club, rather than just collecting his fucking wages each week because that's clearly the only thing he cares about. United haven't lost four games in a row since 1961, they've only scored eleven goals in their last fourteen games and five of them have been 0-0 draws. They're also playing some of the worst football I've ever seen them play in twenty-eight years as a fan. The facts are there for all to see and enough is enough, the "philosophy" is clearly not working and the club is only being damaged further the longer this cunt stays. VAN GAAL OUT. I can't take any more of this cunt, fuck off and get the book that you've been writing during the matches published because you're probably a better writer than you are a manager.

I'm in Paris, I'll watch the game tomorrow but United aren't going to win and tomorrow will be Van Gaal's penultimate game in charge. You heard it here first. I got an email yesterday, I've been offered tickets for the Chelsea game. Even if I was in the UK, I wouldn't go.

On Golden Pond

That maybe true but the money isn't the issue, they'll keep spending until they get it right but Van Gaal can't be trusted to spend any more and he isn't capable of getting the best out of what he has bought in. Players like Rooney and Memphis don't become bad players overnight, a large part of that is down to the inspiration and direction they are given by the manager. Fergie was a master at instilling a winning mentality in players, exactly how he was capable of winning the league in his last season with a team of mainly average players. The current squad has way more talent in it than that one but they clearly don't want to play for Van Gaal and are suffocated by his negative tactics. As for asking me do I think it will take them as long as Liverpool to get back to the top, if by that you mean will it take them more than twenty years to win the Champions League then no I don't. Liverpool are still trying to get back to the top in England because they haven't won the title since 1990 so again, I would say no, it won't take United that long to get back to the top but it could take a few more seasons.

The Philadelphia Story

I can't take much more of this. United are currently playing some of the worst football I have ever seen in all the time I've been a fan. A disgrace considering how much he has spent. Van Gaal has clearly lost the dressing room, the majority of the players do not have their heart in it and this is becoming increasingly evident every week. His days are numbered and I can't see him lasting beyond the new year because they're not capable of beating Stoke and Chelsea.

I take it you mean the one from the sixties? Didn't know he was in that. Anyway, if he was then so was David Niven

Albert Finney

Glenn Close

Bye bye Jose. Something tells me he'll end up at United in the future.