Eneukman

As has been said in other posts on this topic, the troubles in the south of Thailand are due to ethnic quarrels rather than being due to differences in religion. There again, that won't stop some people who don't give a shit about others from jumping on the anti-Muslim bandwagon. I wouldn't say that a similar atrocity to the Bali bombing Can't happen in Pattaya but I think it's unlikely. As always, you are far more likely to be killed trying to cross 2nd Road, Beach Road or Naklua Road in Pattaya than falling foul of terrorist activity. Alan

I've never had a problem with my Vodafone pay as you go mobile - apart from the fucking excessive charge that they make. Think I would buy a Thai sim card if i was going to be using the phone a lot - don't think I need to get the phone unlocked as I only bought the phone and transferred the Sim card from my old phone into the new one Alan

I was walking home from the local supermarket when a car pulls up beside me and an American female asked for directions to a certain street. It happened to be the street where I live and after giving her directions, I mentioned that I was going there. She then asked me if I wanted a ride. Naturally I accepted but she was just asking whether I wanted a lift Another word that has a different meaning depending on which side of the Atlantic you live is "fanny". Alan

Naked Hillbilly Two Indians and a Hillbilly were walking in the woods, all of a sudden one of the Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave. Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" he called into the cave and then he listened very closely until he heard an answering, "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" He tore off his clothes and ran into the cave. The Hillbilly was puzzled and asked the other Indian what that was all about, was the other Indian crazy or what? "No," said the Indian. "It is our custom during mating season when Indian men see cave, they holler 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' into the opening.... If they get an answer back, it means there is a girl in there waiting to mate." Just then they saw another cave. The Indian ran up to the opening of the cave, stopped, and hollered, "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" Immediately, there was an answering "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" from deep inside the cave. He tore off his clothes and ran into the cave. The Hillbilly wandered around in the woods alone for a while, and then he came upon a great big cave. As he looked in amazement at the size of the huge opening, he was thinking, "Whoa, man! Look at the size of this cave! It is bigger than those the Indians found. There must be some really big, fine women in this cave!" He stood in front of the opening and hollered with all his might Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" He grinned and closed his eyes in anticipation, and then he heard the answering call, "WOOOOOOOOO! WOOOOOOOOO! WOOOOOOOOO!" With a gleam in his eyes and a smile on his face, he raced into the cave, tearing off his clothes as he ran. The following day, the headline of the Local Newspaper read..... "NAKED HILLBILLY RUN OVER BY FREIGHT TRAIN." Alan

Thanks for that, Doggie - Looks like I'll have to join PSC when I eventually retire Alan

Where is the Pattaya Bowling Green? I won't be in town for the Rideher Cup but this sounds like a fun way to pass some time once I retire (next year ). Also, anyone know what their fees are? Alan

Sounds like a lot of fun Shame I won't be in Pattaya when it's on this year. Will need to work on my tee shots before next years competition though or I could be playing quite a few 2nd shots with my trousers round my ankles Think I could also have a very good chance of winning the prize for the shortest drive or the furthest from the pin competition Playing in a 4 ball after work one evening over the Eden course in St. Andrews, I managed to leave myself a 4 feet putt for a birdie (I holed it ) thanks to a somewhat fortunate bounce off a gorse bush! Alan

All I can say is Thank Fuck that Liechtenstein are not in the same group as Scotland. It seems that that cunt Vogts is determined not to resign so the sooner the SFA get their fucking act together and kick his arse out the door the better. Alan

Don't Hit the Ball A husband and wife were out playing golf. They tee off and one drive goes to the right and one drive goes to the left. The wife finds her ball in a patch of buttercups. She grabs a club and takes a mighty swing at the ball. She hits a beautiful second shot, but in the process she hacks the hell out of the buttercups. Suddenly a woman appears out of nowhere. She blocks her path to her golfbag and looks at her and says, "I'm Mother Nature, and I don't like the way you treated my buttercups. From now on, you won't be able to stand the taste of butter. Each time you eat butter you will become physically ill to the point of total nausea." The mystery woman then disappears as quickly as she appeared. Shaken, the wife calls out to her husband "Hey, where's your ball?" "It's over here in the pussy willows." he answers. The wife screams back, "DON'T HIT THE BALL!!!! DON'T HIT THE BALL!!!!" Alan

Thanks for correcting my memory, Growler Alan

I bought a pack of 4 Cialis 20mg pills at a pharmacy/clinic on Pratamnak Road (the extenstion of 2nd Road heading towards Jomtien) for 2,000 baht last year. They also had the generic variety in stock for a lower price. I/m a bit surprised that you had trouble finding the real stuff as I had understood from previous threads that Cialis was readily available from most pharmacists. I'll be back for my supply when I arrive. 45 days, 18 hours, 42 minutes and 13 seconds and counting Alan

The Bamboo Bar on South Pattaya Road, close to Walking Street is also pretty good. Alan

I've treated myself to BA's World Traveller plus for my flight to Bangkok in November. Including my flights between Edinburgh and Heathrow, the total cost came to a bit over £1,000 though that was after a 10% discount as a shareholder. The 2-4-2 configuration should be better and should give more leg room etc but I'll report back on this once I'm in Pattaya. The return flight arrives at Heathrow at about 5.30 in the morning and I'm booked on the 7.00 shuttle to Edinburgh so can't see how they say you need 4 - 6 hours to transfer from Terminal 4 to Terminal 1 . My luggage will be checked through to Edinburgh at Bangkok and all I have to do is to pass through security and Passport Control. All in all, it should only take around 40 minutes or so. Alan

Now these GPS guided balls could save me a small fortune if I take up golf again. Only question is - how accurate is the GPS here? though $200 is a bit expensive especially when I am more than capable of putting a nice cut in the ball with my first shot Alan

Ashnoy, you're right about getting some lessons over here but unfortunately since I decided to opt out of the rat race I was in and back into a different much lower paid one, I can't really afford these AND come back to Pattaya in November. Also most of my clubs must be well over 40 years old now though a couple of them have newer heads on them though. I do like Wobbly's suggestion of playing a couple of rounds at the Phoenix and hiring a set of clubs BEFORE I splash out on a new set, which might never get used if my game is even worse than previously. If I do go for new clubs, my thinking at the moment is to buy 3 woods - 2, 4 and 5 plus 2, 3, 4 , 5 , 6 , 7 8, and 9 irons, a pitching wedge and a sand wedge. I might bring my trusty old putter out with me though. The club cost me all of £1 some 30 years ago! Alan

Hilly, as someone who is an even worse player than you - on a good day a 36 handicap might just about have seen me equal par - I was never able to use my driver and have also had the experience of the club head of my 2 - wood travelling almost as far as the ball! Thus being forced to tee of with my 3 wood, I skied it into a gale force wind. It went about 100 yards towards the hole before being blown BACK 50 yards towards me! The clubs I used all belonged to my parents and were rather a mixture of different makes. I could hit the 4, 6, and 8 irons with absolute confidence but I simply dod not feel comfortable with my 5 and 7 irons. Regardless of which club I used, I had a hook that varied from (at best) manageable to at worst totally wild. In a 20 - 30 mph left to right wind I could still make the ball move some distance from right to left. I was so confident of this at times that playing with a strong left to right wind I was able to aim along the gorse bushes on the right with the absolute certainty that the ball wouldn't get lost amongst them. It did, of course, get lost in the gorse bushes on the other side of the course! I did once, however, manage a dead straight drive of some 275 yards with my 2 wood. OK It was down wind, slightly downhill and on a fairly hard fairway. Interested though in the comments about new clubs. Anything that can help correct my wayward shots would be most welcome. Alan

I would go along with kjkc69 and suggest the Residence Gardens at 1,350 baht per month, which is well within your budget. I'll be staying there for the 3rd time in November. It's not in the centre of the action but you can get to Walking Street in a matter of minutes by baht bus - they pass right by the door of the hotel. If you're feeling energetic it's not THAT far to walk to Walking Street. There again, why walk when the baht bus only costs you 10 baht? Alan

Whilst a great manager, I'm not sure that Brian Clough was the best manager going. He certainly had his opinions and wasn't afraid to express them. He certainly could have made a better job of managing England than some of his contemporaries though some people who did a fantastic job at managing a club side were unable to make the transition to international level. Jock Stein comes to mind here (and I'm not a Celtic fan). He led Celtic to victory in the European Cup way back in 1967 becoming the first to British club to win that trophy. His record as Scottish manager was not that impressive but was absolutely brilliant when compared to the present incumbent. There again, your average bar girl could do a better job with her eyes closed than Vogts is doing! My memory may be wrong here but I think that Rangers lost to Borussia Dortmund in the Cup Winners Cup Final in the same season that Celtic won the European Cup. They did however go on to win it a few seasons later. Trevor Francis was on the BBC Breakfast show this morning and was recalling how Clough sent one of the Notts Forest players back up to his room to shave as they were about to board the bus to go to the ground for the European Cup final. It appears that they only arrived at the ground 45 minutes before kick off - not long enough for the players to start letting the match get on their minds. Alan