MarsGodOfWar

Pay no attention to Torres09. He is the one trying to stir up other BM's against Mr. Pastry. The issues between macky and many other BM's like Farman, Agogogaran, Mr. Pastry and myself among many others goes back awhile over the past 3-4 months. Just try reading the "Off the beaten path" subfolder "Battles and Arguments" section and look for any that were started by Macky and a few others he was involved in and you will find the reasons. Just pay no attention to it and sorry for any thread fucking they did.

Stupid old bat. You'd think she would have got out of the car when they did to board. What did she expect them to do carry her. Doesn't she have legs of her own? If she bitched that we forgot her, I'd be like ok yes we did but what's your excuse? And why does the son-in-law get all the shit when the daughter was with him and she didn't remember either? Daft old cunt.

No matter how drunk I get, that never happens to me. If they are fat and ugly to begin with then they are still fat and ugly (fugly) when I'm drunk. My standards just go down a little.

What's even more odd is how literate his posts have been of late (although few). I think while he was absent he went back to school, or maybe someone else is now doing the typing for him.

They are apparently all true to my knowledge!

I love Camel Toe Is this standard with this vehicle or do I have to buy the add-on package?

Cracking an international market is a goal of most growing corporations. It shouldn't be that hard, yet even the big multi-nationals run into trouble because of language and cultural differences. For example... The name Coca-Cola in China was first rendered as Ke-kou-ke-la. Unfortunately, the Coke company did not discover until after thousands of signs had been printed that the phrase means "bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax" depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 Chinese characters and found a close phonetic equivalent, "ko-kou-ko-le," which can be l

Maybe it's leprosy!

I love Football. You know the good kind; where they only kick the ball in the last down or going for a field goal. Soccer on the other hand blows chunks. LOL.

1. In the company of feminists, coitus should be referred to as: a: Lovemaking b: Screwing c: The pigskin bus pulling into tuna town 2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you’ve both shared: a: Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship b: Your blood-test results c: Five tequila slammers 3. You time your orgasm so that: a: Your partner climaxes first b: You both climax simultaneously c: You don’t miss Sports Center (Sky) 4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is: a: Healthy, creative love-play b: Not the sort of th

Good girls say "thanks for a wonderful dinner"... Bad girls say, "what’s for breakfast?" Good girls never go after another girl’s man... Bad girls go after him AND his brother. Good girls wear white cotton panties... Bad girls don’t wear any. Good girls wax their floors... Bad girls wax their bikini lines. Good girls loosen a few buttons when it’s hot... Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons. Good girls make chicken for dinner... Bad girls make reservations Good girls blush during bedrooms scenes in movies... Bad girls know they could do better Good girls

MATURITY: Women mature much faster than men. Most 17-year old females can function as adults. Most 17-year old males are still trading baseball cards and giving each other wedgies after gym class. This is why high school romances rarely work out. HANDWRITING: To their credit, men do not decorate their penmanship. They just chicken scratch. Women use scented, colored stationary and they dot their "i's" with circles and hearts. Women use ridiculously large loops in their "p's" and "g's". It is a royal pain to read a note from a woman. Even when she's dumping you, she'll put a smiley fac

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them is hurt. God works in Mysterious ways. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days". Flattered, the man replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely, this must be a sign from God!" The woman

Original List: 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially successful 4. A caring listener 5. Witty 6. In good shape 7. Dresses with style 8. Appreciates finer things 9. Full of thoughtful surprises 10. An imaginative, romantic lover What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32) 1. Nice looking 2. Opens car doors, holds chairs 3 Has enough money for a nice dinner 4. Listens more than talks 5. Laughs at my jokes 6. Carries bags of groceries with ease 7. Owns a t least one tie 8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal 9. Remembers birthdays and anniversarie

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it. Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you. Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..." How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't; there is a clock on the oven.

#10 - You can trade an old .44 for two new .22s. #9 - You can keep one handgun at home and have another for when you're on the road. #8 - If you admire a friend's handgun, and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times. #7 - Your primary handgun doesn't mind if you have a backup. #6 - Your handgun will stay with you even if you're out of ammo. #5 - A handgun doesn't take up a lot of closet space. #4 - Handguns function normally every day of the month. #3 - A handgun doesn't ask "Do these new grips make me look fat?" #2 - A handgun doesn't mind

A woman's revenge .. the drink .. A girl and her boyfriend go to the pub. When it's the girl's turn to buy around, she tells him that she's heard of a wonderful new drink he simply must try. She returns with the usual half of lager for herself. For him, she has two glasses. One contains a measure of Bailey's, the other lime juice. Instructions: "OK, what you gotta do is, you gotta swig the Bailey's, hold it in your mouth, and then drink the lime juice." He looks a bit dubious, but she's very enthusiastic so he decides to give it a go. First the Bailey's; lovely smooth, cr

Women with big breasts… ..can get a taxi on the worst days ..have a neat place to carry spare change ..have always been the centre of the arts ..make jogging a spectator sport ..can keep a magazine dry while laying in the tub ..usually can find leftover popcorn after a movie ..always float better ..know where to look first for lost earrings ..rarely lack for a slow dance partner ..have a place to set their glasses when sitting in an armless recliner Women with small breasts… ..don’t cause a traffic accident every time they bend over in public ..always look youn

It's like watching a subtitled movie.

1. Is there another word for synonym? 2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. 3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. 4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes? 5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. 6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. 7. Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses? 8. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands

HOW THEY HAVE SEX ACCOUNTANTS are good with figures. ACTORS do it on cue. ADVERTISERS use the "new, improved" method. AMBULANCE DRIVERS come quicker. ANSI does it in the standard way ARCHEOLOGISTS like it old. ARCHITECTS have great plans. ARTISTS are exhibitionists. ASSEMBLY LINE WORKERS do it over and over. ASTRONOMERS do it with Uranus. ATTORNEYS make better motions. AUDITORS like to examine figures. BABYSITTERS charge by the hour. BAILIFFS always come to order. BAKERS knead it daily. BAND MEMBERS play all night. BANKERS do it with interest - penalty for early withdrawal.

Murphy's Law in Sex 1.The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings. 2.Nothing improves with age. 3.No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again. 4.Sex has no calories. 5.Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble. 6.There is no remedy for sex but more sex. 7.Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got. 8.No sex with anyone in the same office. 9.Sex is like snow; you never kno

Ride Damage Survey This practical joke is best done to people who are truly anal about their car, truck, whatever. The type that parks their car 20 hectares away from the mall to avoid it getting touched by human kind. When your buddy leaves the car, get your friend to place a note on the windshield that reads "Sorry, about the scratch. We will take car of any damage." and add a fake phone number. Then as you come out with your buddy from the mall, and they read the note, let the search for the non-existent scratch begin. You can help by point out "potential" scratches, watching him or her

Shirts must have too much room, look what people have written on them... Due to budget cuts, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off. I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either. I love deadlines. I especially like the Whooshing sound as they go flying by. I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person. I Haven't Lost My Mind. It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere. Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it. THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE; 1) You believe in Santa Claus. 2) Yo

Spell Checker I halve a spelling checker, It came with my pea see. It plainly marks four my revue Mistakes I dew knot sea. Eye strike a key and type a word And weight four it two say Weather eye am wrong oar write It shows me strait aweigh. As soon as a mist ache is maid It nose bee fore two long And eye can put the era rite Its rarely ever wrong. I've scent this massage threw it, And I'm shore your pleased too no Its letter prefect in every weigh; My checker tolled me sew.