Nightmarch

[PattayaPete 530]

R.I.P.: Sad to hear of the sudden passing of Michael, the former owner of the Susi beer boozer (Naklua Road) and lately of a joint in the Simon Drinking Street complex as well as the publisher of Hallo Magazin, in early May. Well known and liked in the German community, Michael was just 47 years old and his death came as a complete shock to all who knew him. Our condolences to his family.

 

Pre-Nuptial Guzzling: Big Andy, one of the former owners of the Club Electric Blue ogling den (now Roxy, in Walking Street) and its clone in Soi Diamond, is having a party with a difference in the place where it all started for him in Fun Town about six years ago, namely the Dollhouse chrome pole temple. On Sunday night 3 June, Big Andy will be hosting a shindig to celebrate his upcoming wedding to his long-suffering girlfriend Khun Kan. Now, one might wonder why the big fella is willing to tie the knot at this time and most suspicious types would whisper that Kan’s probably got a bun in the oven. Go to the head of the class, as this is indeed the case and at least the old reprobate is prepared to make an ‘honest woman’ of his paramour.

 

Make ‘em an Offer: Down on the corner of Soi Buakhow and Soi Chaiyapoom the Club Oasis ogling den continues to do good business night after night, to such an extent I would suggest it easily outpoints many of the dens on Walking Street.

[Night-March]

 

A couple of Sierra Tango rooms have been opened, thereby giving tumescent customers the opportunity of quick relief should they so desire, without having to exit the premises. The music remains among the best in town and there were a raft of new dancing damsels the last time I wandered in. Rumours suggest the place is up for sale and I’ve no doubt they’re right. There again, I would think every single bar in Fun Town is for sale, at the right price. Many operators have no desire to sell, but if they were pressed by an exuberant potential buyer they might name a silly price, say 15 million baht for a place that’s really worth maybe 10 million, and if the person asking says ‘done deal’ then you’d hand over the keys forthwith.

 

The Paradise ogling den (Soi Buakhow) which is owned by the same people who have Club Oasis and was closed when it opened its doors is definitely on the market at a negotiable 1.9 million baht for a 3 x 3 year lease.

 

Advertising Fruit: The Banana Growers Association, if such exists, should consider doing a promotional video in the confines of the Diamond ogling den (Soi Diamond). Among the shows performed by the dancers is one involving the sensuous sirens gobbling the yellow phallic fruit in a very suggestive fashion. I could see sales of the monkey fruit going through the roof if such a promotional video were ever to see the light of day.

 

Much of a Muchness: Wandered into the Nui’s 2 ogling den (Walking Street) for the first time in quite a while recently. The place is darker than most dens and the music was standard car alarm, a feature of all the chrome pole palaces operated by Nui: Hot Girls, Pinky Girls (both on Walking Street), New Star (Soi Diamond), Fun Room and Rock Girls (both in Soi 15). There were six girls in short skirts filling the narrow stage dancing in the bored way they do when things are a bit quiet and they haven’t yet ingested enough tequila to get the blood bubbling.

 

The den has about 20-25 dancers on the books, no stunners but plenty who looked presentable enough to keep most customers satisfied.

 

A Taste of Beeswax: One of the longest-running ogling dens on Walking Street, Honey has had a few baht spent on interior decoration over the years but it’s basically the same layout it’s always been. The music in the den is better than many other places but the number of dancing damsels is not much above 20, with five or six on the long centre stage at any one time. They are now attired in rainbow-coloured bright short skirts and perform the standard chrome pole shuffle. That said, while they are an average bunch as far as looks are concerned, most appear to be pretty friendly.

 

The bar fine at 600 baht is ridiculous as places like New Living Dolls 1 and Sweethearts have far better quality dancers as far as looks are concerned and have reduced their bar fine imposts to just 400 baht. Draught amber is 50 baht while house liver wasters are a silly 120 baht.

 

Something for all Tastes: There’s no doubt the Sweethearts table dancing den (Walking Street) is doing better business than its previous incarnation as a late-night boogie barn. Happy hour extends until 10:00PM with most thirst quenchers a mere 45 baht, but even outside of that a house liver waster is just 95 baht and lolly water an encouraging 50 baht.

 

The music is 1960s-80s rock and roll and there are eight dancers spread down this narrow den on four glass-bottomed tables. There are about 20 or so dancers all told and they come in all shapes, sizes, and ages, so there’s someone to suit most tastes. It has a friendly atmosphere and with the bar fine at just 400 baht it’s no surprise to see it doing quite well.

 

A Very Impotent Place: As if to confirm the moveable feast that is Fun Town, a place I considered some months ago to be worth a visit I have to say now isn’t worth a cracker. The VIP ogling den (Walking Street) is so desperate for customers it has draught amber, house liver wasters, Thai rotgut, and ly water all at 50 baht from opening to closing. Even so, when I walked in on a recent Saturday night I was the only customer, although two more came in a little later. The music was extremely loud, so much so the katoey serving person mixed up my drink order. The DJ played nothing but disc-to-disc ©rap. There were four girls coyote dancing, with another eight or 10 sat around looking totally bored. They looked like a bunch of girls who’d recently come out of hospital having had a frontal lobotomy. Quite frankly, they could give away free drinks and I still wouldn’t want to go back again.

 

Tweaking at the Edges: Sunday nights is the time to visit the Coyotee’s chrome pole palace (Soi Marina Plaza) if you want to see something different from standard den shuffling. Management have decided to hold an in-house paint and body oil contest on the second and fourth Sunday’s of each month while the first and third Sunday’s feature an in-house contest from the Lickem-On-Toppe school of darting tongues and fibrillating pudenda. The les-be-friends lick off naturally appeals to all amateur gynaecologists while the unique dry paint to body oil contest is a worthy innovation to the variety of shows seen around town these days.

 

Around and About: The rumour mill is suggesting the Crystals bend-over boys den (Pattayaland Soi 2) is not attracting enough of the pink baht and it will soon be turned back into a distaff ogling den. I doubt there are too many Fun Town expats who could care less one way or the other. The general consensus seems to be the Rodeo Girls chrome pole palace is about the best on the soi these days.

 

The former Fawlty Towers boozer and noshery (Soi 7) is being converted into a den of the chrome pole and will be called Silver Star II. This will mean there are three dens in the city called Silver Star: the original, next door in Soi 8, one in Walking Street, and now this one on Soi 7. When it opens, it will take the score of dens in Pattaya to a new high of 76.

 

Down in Soi 2 the long-established Classroom 2 ogling den has had a makeover. Taking a leaf out of the more successful dens on Walking Street, there is now a Jacuzzi as well as a masochist/sadist play area (you know, featuring the stock standard foam rubber crowd control devices).

 

Anybody wondering where many of the dine-and-dash damsels of the Beach Road promenade are now plying their trade, a walk along the section of Second Road between Royal Garden Plaza and the soon-to-be-relocated Shenanigans will give you an answer. Just don’t confuse them with the clipboard brigade who want you to do a ‘holiday survey’.

 

More and more bar owners and other businesses are being targeted by a bunch of avaricious and opportunistic persons in uniforms claiming to be checking on illegally obtained music. The bottom line is this: if anyone with a badge and packing a pistol wanders into your establishment you are within your rights to ask to see proper identification badges and to then ask for a court-issued search warrant. If neither are forthcoming you should ask them to leave your premises, and as an encouragement, start taking photos or videos of them. I’m losing count of the number of places that have been ‘hit’ in recent weeks with what is clearly a scam designed to redistribute wealth: from your pocket into theirs.

 

Piece of Pith: Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.

[Eneukman 1]

I have to correct Nightmarch on his comments about Rock Girls on Soi 15. I wandered into this place by chance a few weeks back and whilst it is not up to the standard of the likes of Happy, New Living Dolls 1, etc, the music they played when I was in was good rock music.

 

I detest the "car alarm" music Nightmarch describes and unless they have changed their policy recently, the music was very much to my taste.

 

As an aside, I had a nice 3 - some from there one night.

 

Alan

[plahgat 523]

Just a small update!

Paradise aGoGo is supposed to open it doors again on Saturday 16 June.

Honey aGoGo has had its doors closed for some time now, for good or just for renovation!?

Also my condolences to Michael's family, Susi bar was one of my favorite hangout bars some years ago!

 

Plahgat

[chantrycat 0]

Reference the comment, "The general consensus seems to be the Rodeo Girls chrome pole palace is about the best on the soi these days" - I am bloody amazed - it operates a 1,000 baht barfine up to late evening - why would ANYBODY pay this sum when you can get a barfine as low as 400 in a couple of Walking Street go gos and 500/600 in the rest? Have looked in Rodeo Girls evey time I visit just to see if they have moderated the 1,000 barfine - they haven't - nor do they have any lookers worth even considering that kind of payment

Edited June 12, 2007 by chantrycat

[Eneukman 1]

Just a small update!

Paradise aGoGo is supposed to open it doors again on Saturday 16 June.

Honey aGoGo has had its doors closed for some time now, for good or just for renovation!?

Also my condolences to Michael's family, Susi bar was one of my favorite hangout bars some years ago!

 

Plahgat

 

I read elsewhere that Honey is currently closed for renovation. I'm not sure when it's going to re-open though.

 

Alan