I had not heard this before

[cowboy 0]

A couple attending an art exhibition at the National

gallery was staring at a portrait that had them

completely confused.

 

The painting depicted three very black and totally

naked men sitting on a park bench. Two of the figures

had black dicks, but the one in the middle had a

pink dickl. The curator of the gallery realized that

they were having trouble interpreting the painting and

offered his assistance.

 

 

He went on for nearly half an hour explaining how it

depicted the sexual emasculation of African Americans

in a predominately white, patriarchal society..."In

fact," he pointed out, "some serious critics believe

that the pink penis also reflects the cultural and

sociological oppression experienced by gay men in

contemporary society."

 

After the curator left, a young man in a Kentucky

T-shirt approached the couple and said, "Would you

like to know what the painting is really about?

 

 

"Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than

the curator of the gallery?" asked the couple.

 

"Because I'm the guy who painted it," he replied. "In

fact, there are no African Americans depicted at all.

They're just three Kentucky coal miners, and the guy

in the middle went home for lunch.

[Samsonite 181]

Good one!

Thanks for the laugh.

[friendlyric6411 0]

same as Elton john. he went for a tatoo, he thought for a while and said to the tatooist , i want a tatoo on my dick, and being loaded i want a rolls royce, the tattoist thought and said would you not be better with a 4 wheel drive vehicle say, a land rover Elton said why the tattoist said it wont get stuck in the shit..

Edited August 27, 2007 by friendlyric6411

[Dave16 1]

An Englishman a Scotsman and an Irishman are working together on an oil rig in the North Sea. They are tired of watching the same DVDs after the shift, playing the same board games and eating the same crap food. The English guy has a couple of weeks shore leave coming up and says to his pals, "I will bring some treats back when I return from seeing my family"

After his leave he returns with some fresh steaks and a couple of cases of real ale. He takes out a parcel which turns out to be a Monopoly game. After the rules are explained the guys begin to play and really get into it for a few weeks until eventually they tire of it and it goes on the shelf with the dominoes and playing cards.

Jock the Scot has some leave due so he promises to bring something back for the guys too. When he returns he has a box of smoked kippers and a case of Glenfiddich malt whiskey. After the guys have enjoyed a meal and a drink he produces a game of Scrabble which they play that evening and every evening for a month until this too becomes boring.

Murphy is due to go back to Ireland for his break and he makes the same promise to the other guys.

Two weks later he appears with a 56lb bag of potatoes and three crates of Guinness. The fellas have baked spuds with a variety of toppings and down some of the black stuff to wash it down.

"So Murphy, what else have you got?"

Murphy digs into his pack and produces a large box of tampons.

"WTF are we supposed to do with those?" the guys shout.

"Well now," says Murphy. "Don't judge till you know what it says on the box. You can play tennis and go swimming and do all sorts of things with these!"

[Bushcraft 2,604]

Australian Joke of the Year 2006:

 

A bloke's wife goes missing while diving off the West Australian coast.

 

 

He reports the event, searches fruitlessly and spends a terrible

night wondering what could have happened to her.

 

Next morning there's a knock at the door and he is confronted by a

couple of policemen, the old Sarge and a younger Constable.

 

The Sarge says, 'Mate, we have some news for you, unfortunately some

really bad news, but, some good news, and maybe some more good news'.

 

Well,' says the bloke, 'I guess I'd better have the bad news first?'

 

The Sarge says, 'I'm really sorry mate, but your wife is dead. Young

Bill here found her lying at about five fathoms in a little cleft in the reef.

He got a line around her and we pulled her up, but she was dead.'

 

The bloke is naturally pretty distressed to hear of this and has a

bit of a turn.

 

But after a few minutes he pulls himself together and asks what the

good news is.

 

The Sarge says, 'Well when we got your wife up there were quite a

few really good sized crays and a swag of nice crabs attached to her, so

we've brought you your share.'

 

He hands the bloke a big sugar bag with a couple of nice crays and

four or five crabs in it.

 

'Geez thanks. They're bloody beauties. I guess it's an ill wind and

all that... So what's the other possible good news?'

 

'Well', the Sarge says, 'if you fancy a quick trip, me and young

Bill here get off duty at around 11 o'clock and we're gonna shoot over there

and pull her up again!'