Question re: Merit money for deceased

[statman208 41]

I have a question for BMs that might be somewhat versed in Buddhist practices... I know a BG who had a family member pass awhile back. Now she plans to spend a significant chunk of money to 'make merit' for him. I just read quite a bit on the internet about the concept of merit for the deceased, however, I can't find exactly what happens to the money. I'm curious and would prefer not to ask her and sound rude....so do you guys know what a good buddhist is likely to do with merit money? Another words, if it is given, who would she give it to? And if spent, what is it spent on? Thanks in advance...

[joekicker 53]

Very basic answer: The money itself doesn't get the merit. The activities made possible by the money generate the merit.

 

The money buys time at the wat, along with monks to chant, a good word to the Man Upstairs, so to speak - in Buddhist terms of course. In addition it buys food and drinks for those who come along, i.e. generosity.

 

.

Edited September 28, 2010 by joekicker

[soi two 1]

In simplistic terms they believe that there are different levels of heaven, hell and purgatory. This making merit as outlined by joekicker will promote their relatives soul into a higher level.

[short 215]

I think the OP is asking "where does the money go". Most likely answer would be into the general Wat funds which I assume would be used for all kinds of things.

[joekicker 53]

I think the OP is asking "where does the money go". Most likely answer would be into the general Wat funds which I assume would be used for all kinds of things.

 

I don't believe he asked that, but if he actually asked that, the wat would (almost certainly) tell him to shove off -- or more likely but way worse, make up some story about sick kids in the school or somesuch. No one asks that any more than Christians ask where the collection plate moolah goes. Any impertinent questioner wouldn't be taken or treated seriously.

 

.

[Grimm 29]

Joe a little too much redbull this morning? I think there is a middle ground (sound Buddhist principle) on the where does the money go....

 

So there are 2 main ways that money gets spent at a funeral to make merit. The first way (as in all large family events, weddings, house blessings, funerals, etc.) is that people make money by giving donations directly to the family. This is designed to offset the families costs for hosting all the guests, expenses of getting the monks and gifts for the monks, the non-monk sanskrit wise holy guy that deals with the non-Buddhist spirit realm, the a/c coffin and cremation expenses, etc. A funeral, even to a poor family in a village can end up being a major expense. If the person that died is also the major beadwinner for the family then the money is also designed to help tied the family over until new money is coming in. Just like a wedding in the west, the giver doesn't ask for itemized bill for their donation but keeps the potential costs in mind when deciding how much to donate. By the way, there is usually another part of the funeral ceremony that is held 100 days after the cremation (which is what the BG is probably sending money back for 100 day ceremony is seen by some as more important than the actual funeral)...more expense.

 

Now for family members the second way they make merit by offering a donation to the temple and the gifts to monks that come to chant at the funeral. As in the West, the wealthy might also build shrine or donate a building to the temple of the person's name on it. The monks keep what ever offerings are given to them. As Joe pointed out, offerings to the temple go to the temple fund and it is up to the temple how that money is spent. Many families also have one or two members that will go and mediate in the temple for a week to a month as a way of making merit. Very popular amongst the poor who have little money to give. I've yet to be at a funeral where non-family members make direct donations to a temple, that money is always channelled through the family.

 

 

It's not the amount per se that registers the merit, but what the amount reflects on families income. If I donate a 1000baht that's not going to make much merit for me. If my som tum seller donates a 1000 baht that is going to make big merit for her.

Edited September 29, 2010 by Grimm

[jacko 8,822]

I think the OP is asking "where does the money go". Most likely answer would be into the general Wat funds which I assume would be used for all kinds of things.

I am inclined to think the food/ drinks and entertainment for guests consumes more of it.

[Larryst 7]

When I lived ip north. Every once in awhile a guy would come around asking for money. I asked what it was for. The girl I was with said. It's for ghosts or dead relatives. I asked if the relatives or ghosts gave anything for her when they were a live. She said they gave nothing. So I said why give money to them, since there dead and they did nothing for her. They can't use it now. She still gave money to the guy. More than likely he had a good time with it. Buying whiskey or beer.

Edited September 29, 2010 by Larryst

[กษัตริย์ 2]

I think the OP is asking "where does the money go". Most likely answer would be into the general Wat funds which I assume would be used for all kinds of things.

 

 

New mobile phone, Ipod, Booze, Hookers.

[statman208 41]

Thanks for the responses and sorry if I wasn't clear enough. Simply put, I was curious as to who she was going to hand her 10,000 Baht to, since that is a lot of money to her....not what that person or persons were going to do with it.

[short 215]

For a typical bar girls month wages, I hope she gets a receipt so that she can write it off her taxes. Just kidding.

 

I would hope its to the head monk.

[joekicker 53]

I would hope its to the head monk.

 

Part, but also to the store/restaurant/caterer. By supply food and drinks the dead guy also gains merit.

 

.

[englishinsiam 15]

Monks are bloody expensive considering they live like pawpers.

 

We have 10 coming to our Ceremony in November and as well as paying them we have to provide 2 tables of food for them as well as gifts.

 

It's a great racket but none more so than a Monking ceremony for a 2 week monk a big affair with 300+ people because he's taking a 2 week holiday from work in a Temple.

 

Organised religion is the biggest racket in the world, no wonder the Italian Mafia has the Vatican in it's pocket.

[extras 0]

Thanks for the responses and sorry if I wasn't clear enough. Simply put, I was curious as to who she was going to hand her 10,000 Baht to, since that is a lot of money to her....not what that person or persons were going to do with it.

That's a lot.

 

In my experience, I handed money to people who gave me bills for anything ceremony related. Be it food, flowers, stuff for the monks. Electricity for the temple for the hours we were there.

 

We got a lot of money in envelopes when we made merit for my late Auntie on 100th day after her passing. I still have 5,000 Baht left from then, and will use it for the upcoming anniversary ceremony.

[jacko 8,822]

Monks are bloody expensive considering they live like pawpers.

 

We have 10 coming to our Ceremony in November and as well as paying them we have to provide 2 tables of food for them as well as gifts.

 

It's a great racket but none more so than a Monking ceremony for a 2 week monk a big affair with 300+ people because he's taking a 2 week holiday from work in a Temple.

 

Organised religion is the biggest racket in the world, no wonder the Italian Mafia has the Vatican in it's pocket.

They get to eat first too....

Could you put a baht figure on the 10 monk ceremony?

[GBO 0]

My brother in law recently passed away,despite him being a foreigner he was given a very traditional Issan village funeral as he was well respected having lived in the village for the last 5 years.

 

The funeral cost the family around 200,000 Baht.

 

The cost is quite staggering considering it's a simple village funeral.

 

The costs were..

 

Food..........I would say 30% of it was spent on feeding 100's of village folk(they also steal/take home uncooked meat and more than they eat)

 

Booze..................... 30% beer and Whisky for all night drinking for bloody days

 

There was a huge speaker arrangement with DJ

 

The coffin and Fridge costs

 

Table and chair hire

 

Marquee/canopy hire

 

The Monks 3 times a day @ 1,700 baht a pop

 

The master of ceremonies

 

The cremation costs at the Wat

 

Flowers

 

Gifts

 

They did receive money from the village,via the head man as he collects it. I think it was 15,000 Baht

 

The people attending gave money usually 20-40 baht per head.

 

It's certainly not cheap to die up in the village.

 

It was a very weird experience along with really strange and unusual traditions not to mention the Issan superstitions which are bordering on Witch craft.

 

The worst thing for me was at late evening after the cremation we were ordered to go to the Wat and search through the ashes for the bones,not sure who got the gold teeth.

 

I did a full report on this on another forum.

 

I hope to post here more often as many of my friends seem to be here for very similar reasons to me now.

 

Cheers

G

[player 1]

My TGF's family has had parties for the dead and they usually need 9 monks at about 1000 baht each.

 

What I saw when I visit the villlage was when some of the village folks would go to the little houses they set up for family spirits to pray and make merit, it usually went like this.

 

The village women would buy all the fruit and drinks to leave at the little house, they would go to the houses and do their ceremonys. Some of the older men from the village would go too and sit in the back. The old men knew a good thing when they saw it.

 

Well, the women would leave and old guys would drink the beer, Thai whiskey and eat the fruit when no one was looking. Oh, my TGF would always grab a few of my Heinekin's to leave and tell me that the spirits are looking out for me, so I got that going for me.

Edited October 1, 2010 by player

[Fireman Sam 336]

My brother in law recently passed away,despite him being a foreigner he was given a very traditional Issan village funeral as he was well respected having lived in the village for the last 5 years.

 

The funeral cost the family around 200,000 Baht.

 

The cost is quite staggering considering it's a simple village funeral.

 

The costs were..

 

Food..........I would say 30% of it was spent on feeding 100's of village folk(they also steal/take home uncooked meat and more than they eat)

 

Booze..................... 30% beer and Whisky for all night drinking for bloody days

 

There was a huge speaker arrangement with DJ

 

The coffin and Fridge costs

 

Table and chair hire

 

Marquee/canopy hire

 

The Monks 3 times a day @ 1,700 baht a pop

 

The master of ceremonies

 

The cremation costs at the Wat

 

Flowers

 

Gifts

 

They did receive money from the village,via the head man as he collects it. I think it was 15,000 Baht

 

The people attending gave money usually 20-40 baht per head.

 

It's certainly not cheap to die up in the village.

 

It was a very weird experience along with really strange and unusual traditions not to mention the Issan superstitions which are bordering on Witch craft.

 

The worst thing for me was at late evening after the cremation we were ordered to go to the Wat and search through the ashes for the bones,not sure who got the gold teeth.

 

I did a full report on this on another forum.

 

I hope to post here more often as many of my friends seem to be here for very similar reasons to me now.

 

Cheers

G

 

 

 

Pretty much spot on GBO, one of my American mates from That Phanom died a few weeks back and his wife reckoned she spent about 150,000 baht on the funeral. Money that she now certainly can't afford.

 

I think the cheapest way to get round this is to leave the body in the temple, and then cremate as quickly as possible. Stops most of the hanger on's cleaning your house out of anything edible.

 

As you say not cheap to died up country, but then again where is these days.

 

 

 

 

 

Best Regards

Fireman Sam

[englishinsiam 15]

They get to eat first too....

Could you put a baht figure on the 10 monk ceremony?

 

 

I think the head monk is 1,500 Baht

 

Then it's 500 for each of the other monks. I'd like to know what they spend it on it's not clothes or hair gel

[joekicker 53]

Then it's 500 for each of the other monks. I'd like to know what they spend it on it's not clothes or hair gel

 

The monks go naked in your wat then, do they?

 

It's pretty easy to check out how far 500 baht will go in the Buddhist section of any general store or market. It goes about as far as it would go for you, or for the Buddhists who shop in that section.

[tom21 19]

The monks go naked in your wat then, do they?

 

It's pretty easy to check out how far 500 baht will go in the Buddhist section of any general store or market. It goes about as far as it would go for you, or for the Buddhists who shop in that section.

 

 

they are given there clothes like there food and everything else.