Monkeywatch - April 2013

[monkeyman]

Greetings monkeywatchers, and showaddy crap as we once again nestle ourselves into the warm bosom of our favourite place to be. Hang on to your hats.

 

Bars have been warned that they face closure if they don’t stick to the official closing times of 2am within the entertainment zone and midnight elsewhere. We’re getting a strange feeling of déjà vu – and we think we may have had it before. Police also said they would be cracking down on drugs and got the ball rolling by arresting one their own officers after finding something untoward in his trousers.

 

Police arrested a Thai bloke in the wee hours of the other Tuesday morning after he turned his car over on the central reservation of Sukhumvit Road. He told police he’d swerved after mistaking the shadow of a tree on the road for a pedestrian. Perhaps not the best defence to use if you’re trying to convince the police that you aren’t pissed out of your mind. It wasn’t and he didn’t because he was.

 

The Thai economy continues to go from strength to strength, no doubt spurred on by the dynamism and drive displayed by its citizens…

 

 

A German bloke snuffed it in Central Festival last Wednesday after plummeting down six floors from a balcony. Police asked for anyone who knew the man to contact Pattaya Police Station, though it seemed unlikely that anyone would be claiming to have known a pool of goo.

 

Not to be outdone, a Thai lad fell 33 floors off Wongomat Tower while working on the construction site of said erection. Police said the incident was caused by a substandard plank, presumably a reference to the site manager.

 

A Thai chap was arrested at a Flea Market in North Pattaya last week by a police anti-gambling unit for running a stall where people could win prizes by throwing darts at balloons. They informed him that taking money from people in return for gratuities was illegal but he gave them 5,000 baht so they let him off. Don’t know what happened to the fleas. They probably fled.

 

As we all know, Pattaya is a perfectly safe place for holidaymakers. Just ask any doorman…

 

 

Bar news now, and the raiding season is with us again, the latest victims being Insomnia, Marine, Nui’s Club 2, Naughty Girls, Sugar Sugar and Club Blu, the latter having a 30-day closure order slapped on them. Bit inconvenient if you happened to be staying in one of their rooms. And, as predicted last month, newly opened Movida has already closed down. Guugle has also closed, though word is that it’ll reopen at the end of the month, unlike Baron A Go Go, which looks to have gone for good. Classroom A Go Go has finished with dancers, so no change there then. Soi LK Metro is to give birth to a new Go Go named Crystal Club on the site of the old Lolita’s. Shenanigan’s is being converted into, would you believe, a family pub, obviously something Pattaya is crying out for. But the most surprising news of the month has to be FLB Bar swapping their band for coyote dancers. Good God, whatever next? The Blues Factory turning into a BJ bar?

 

Rescue services were summoned last Wednesday after a monitor lizard was spotted roaming the streets of South Pattaya. A man claiming to be a lizard expert who arrived on the scene said that the recent spell of very warm weather may have induced the creature to come out of its shelter to look for water. Well, if it hangs around for a few more days it won’t have to look too hard.

 

Someone seems to think that there may be a problem with traffic congestion in Pattaya, so a committee has been set up to examine the problem. The first meeting took place last Friday, but nobody showed up as they were all stuck in traffic jams except for one delegate who fell off his bike in South Pattaya after swerving to avoid a monitor lizard.

 

That little branch of McDonald’s on Beach Road doesn’t seem to get too many customers these days…

 

 

The 12th Pattaya International Music Festival took place a couple of weeks ago and was the usual blend of music, traffic jams and punch ups. Mainly traffic jams and punch ups to be honest. They should’ve gone to the UK for the Status Quo Frantic Four Reunion Tour and listened to some proper music (that’s what I did).

 

 

Finally, there was a bit of a conflagration on Soi 16 last Thursday after a block of beer bars burned to the ground following an electrical fire. Though it was initially claimed that there were no casualties, it’s been reported that several of the nearby street vendors have added Crispy Arab to their menus.

 

be seeing you

monkeyman

[teelack]

Not sure if Monkeyman reads this forum but thanks. Sad to hear that the Barron has finally shut the doors but I am sure that we all believe in reincarnation when it comes to gogo bars.

[monkeyman]

Yes he does.

 

And thank you for being a monkeywatcher.

[MM]

Ouch!

[jballstate]

Always enjoy Monkeyman.

[kev0184]

excellent once again, thx.