Eneukman

Papa very sick. He needs to come to Manchester for expensive operation (where he lives but you don't know that). Please send £5,000 direct to surgeon (he's my boy friend) who will carry out operation (on the National Health Service). Please don't come to hospital in Manchester as papa will only speak to someone who can speak Thai. Also, please, I want to be alone with papa for until he recuperates so please don't come to Manchester to see me (I have a market stall there and don't want to see me there so I can rip you off for more money ) Sounds like a good story line for a soap. Damn! It's already been done! Alan

Got to agree with your wife, Louy. Even to my uneducated ear,when Orchid said Sawatdii kha, the tones sounded all wrong. Also, I picked up the word phom (the male version of I). Now, as we all (I hope) know, the female version of I is chan (or dichan in formal occasions). Still a good laugh though Alan

I don't usually watch Coronation Street, but after all the talk both here and in the office I just had to watch it tonight. Was just about pissing myself laughing at her attempted impersonation of someone who has just arrived from Thailand. It was so obvious that the nearest she had ever been to Thailand in a very long time (and maybe ever) was her local Thai restaurant. Still, the programme did close with the "papa sick routine". Alan

Talking about taxes, was there not talk about them being increased? Or was this just some of the environmentalists trying to make air traffic too expensive for us mere mortals? I'm all in favour of protecting the environment but people still have to travel and flying is still the best way of travelling long distances. The taxes on fares isn't too dissimilar in some ways from the exhorbitant taxes on petrol (and I don't own a car). It is a sure fire way of making plenty of money for the Treasury! Alan

Forgot about 10cc's classic hit - "I'm not in love" Alan

I've stayed there a couple of times. Very nice hotel and very close to a sky train station - within 100 yards or so. Siam Square is 2 stops away by skytrain, with Soi Cowboy a few more stops away. I think to get to Soi Cowboy, you have to change trains to get there but that's not a major problem. I haven't done any mongering in Bangkok but as far as I can remember they had a joiner fee of, I think, 1,000 baht. Certainly, overnight guests could be taken up to your room as I was heading down for breakfast one morning before heading off for the Floating Market and a tg came out a room with her bar fine from the previous night. She looked slightly pissed off though whether this was with the guy or what, I don't know. It could be that she was being kicked out early to avoid the hotel staff knowing that he had had a guest staying overnight but I think this unlikely as to get to the lifts you have to walk straight past reception. Alan

Richard Branson was interviewed on Breakfast television on the BBC this morning and he was asked whether his airline, Virgin, had any plans to follow suit. Although he did not specifically say, Yes, he did refuse to rule out bringing in a similar surcharge. So does that mean yes, but I'll call it something else just to confuse people? Alan

Think it only applies to new bookings. QANTAS are also imposing a similar surcharge, which they claim is due to the cost of aviation fuel having increased by something like 60% in the last 12 months. I'll be interested to see if this surcharge is removed when the cost of oil falls back again. Alan

I remember flying out to Singapore on my way to Bali a few years ago when the other side of the aisle from me was a young mother with a baby who must only just have been old enough to fly. Ah well, there goes any sleep tonight, I thought. The baby was fantastic or else the mother (she was breast feeding) had put something into her milk but the baby hardly uttered a sound throughout the flight. Alan

Some songs that come to mind are - Without you Can't help falling in love If not you I don't want to be alone tonight (Dr. Hook) I'll keep you satisfied Je t'aime and many others I can't think of immediately Alan

Monkeyman's spot on there. That's what I used to do when I stayed there. That gate is, however, locked at around 10.00/11.00 so when you return in the evening you have to enter by the main entrance Alan

Couldn't have put it better myself, Pie Actually, Larry .... have you applied for membership to the members' board? I don't think you have been registered as a member hence the reason you cannot access it. Alan

AM, I think that you need to ask Pete if you want to change your login name. As far as I can recall, he disabled the ability for members to change their name at will. Alan

I remember this story from when it first came out. A guy I know who's 6ft plus and weighs in at around 20 stone has to make special arrangements to get an extra wide seat when he flies. He also has a bad leg and walks with a stick (he is officially classified as disabled). The hospital could operate on him but won't because of the increased riskes due to his obesity. As far as I can recall, he had to pay a bit extra for the wider seat. His wife is, by contrast, quite petite. I don't really see why people who are grossly obese shouldn't have to pay extra for two seats though not necessarily as much as the price of two seats. Might persuade some of them to make an effort to lose some weight. Alan

Also, the rain's warm unlike in Scotland! Alan

Partyanimal, do you have any travel insurance? That should cover you for any costs incurred unless you were travelling against your doctor's orders. Alan

Whilst it's highly unlikely that the town will ever be totally fully booked, I would always recommend that you book somewhere to stay for the first night or two. Then you can look around for other accommodation at your leisure. Personally, I prefer to know where I'm going to be staying for the duration of my holiday, but that's just my preference. Alan

I need what is known as a "complex" prescription and have just paid £330 for a pair of vari-focal glasses. (My GOOD eye is something like - 11, whilst the other is about - 13). I've yet to come across anyone with such a strong prescription. I had to get the glasses re-made I was having problems reading signs etc about 20 feet or so away. Too early to say whether the new pair are ok but they do seem to be better. Question is what happens in Thailand if you need to return glasses to the optician because, say, the variation part of the lens isn't quite right making them worse than useless? Alan

I too only drink bottled water - it's very cheap in Thailand but other than that I don't worry too much. I think that in most bars/restaurants the ice will be made from bottled water so again there shouldn't be a problem there. In 5 visits to date, I've yet to have any problems with stomach upsets etc. Alan

I think the agency Gabor and Lazyboy are talking about is called Northern Thai Realty (correct me if I'm wrong guys). I've heard others speak highly of them before and will be paying them a vist when I make the move myself next year. Their web site has several properties though it is debatable on how up to date this actually is. They also have a large number of properties displayed in the window of their shop - so worth a vist. Alan

Apologies - I had intended typing "small" rather than small but omitted the inverted commas. Really quite high if you're just needing a 2 week extension. Alan

The 30 day visa issued on arrival in Thailand can also be extended for a further period of up to 14 days for a small fee at the Immigration Office, which I think is on Soi 8 in Pattaya. You won't have any problems on your visit though. More information on visas can be obtained at http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/. Whatever you do, DO NOT overstay your visa. If you are stopped before you reach the airport, you will (ultimately) be deported and your passport stamped accordingly. This effectively means that you would not be allowed back into the country in the future. Alan

Also, I seem to recall from my last visit to the RG in November last year, that they will arrange for you to be picked up at the airport and transported to the hotel in a luxury limo for 1,500 baht (which, as far as I can recall includes tolls). Somebody, please remind of this before my next visit in November of this year. Alan