DrPat

Good to see you are back on line. I was a bit panicky yesterday when Pattayatalk wasn’t available – thought I may have to do some actual work.

Many thanks for the information TL. I’ll check nearer to the time if there any noise or banging. Er, banging from the construction work, that is.

Thinking of staying at Sabai Wing (again) late October / early November. Is there still construction work going on in that area or have things settled down now? As usual, any info will be gratefully received.

Nice work! I'll have the one in picture 10 - and if she's not available, I'll make do with the Bentley.

Just completed an extensive run of my computer model of Pattaya. Result: Walking Street will still be there long after current board members have lost their ability to walk.

Only the gypo one.

I sat on the train this morning opposite a stunning Thai girl. I kept thinking to myself, please don't get an erection, please don't get an erection...but she did. Man calls 999 and says, "I think my wife is dead". The operator says how do you know? He says, "The sex is the same but the ironing is building up! I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on. I said, "You're pulling my leg" I've just had a letter back from Screwfix. They said they regretted to inform me that they're not actually a dating agency. I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!! At least I presume she was poor - she only had £1.20 in her purse. Under new E.U. law the word "gypo" is no longer politically correct. They have to be called (caravan utilising nomadic travellers) or C.*.N.T.S. for short. Doctors have just identified a food that can cause grief and suffering years after it's been eaten. It's called a wedding cake. I was in the pub with my wife last night and I said, “I love you”. She said, “Is that you or the beer talking?” I replied, “It's me talking….. to the beer”. A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid but when I quizzed him on it, he reckoned he could stop any time. I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I was standing there I noticed four gravediggers walking about with a coffin. Three hours later and they're still walking about with it. I thought to myself, they've lost the plot!! My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were £70!!! Blow this, I thought. I can get one cheaper off the web. I was at an ATM yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance, so I pushed her over. I was driving this morning when I saw an AA van parked up. The driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable. I thought to myself that guy's heading for a breakdown. My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning. Can you believe that, 2:30am?! Luckily for him I was still up playing my bagpipes. Paddy says, "Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador”. "Bugger that!" says Mick. "Have you seen how many of their owners go blind?" My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet. A wife says to her husband, "You're always pushing me around and talking behind my back." He says, "What do you expect? You're in a wheelchair." The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst, so I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back. When I was in the pub I heard a couple of plonkers saying that they wouldn't feel safe on an aircraft if they knew the pilot was a woman. What a pair of sexists. I mean, it's not as if she'd have to reverse the bloody thing! Local Police hunting the 'knitting needle nutter', who has stabbed six people in the last 48 hours, believe the attacker could be following some kind of pattern. Just got back from my mate's funeral. He died after being hit on the head with a tennis ball. It was a lovely service. 19 paddies go to the cinema, the ticket lady asks "Why so many of you?" Mick replies, "The film said 18 or over." Hi mate I don't want you to panic but I'm texting you from casualty. Turns out the new Dyson Ball cleaner isn't what I thought it was.

Top-notch gag! I'm sure that many of us have experience of this - but not as a young boy.

Whenever one of these gentlemen ask if I would like a ‘nice suit’, I reply with the obvious, ‘too hot for a suit today’… and keep walking. When they ask if I would like a ‘nice shirt’, I again reply with the obvious, ‘I’ve got a nice shirt, you cheeky bastard, I’m wearing it!’… and keep walking.

I’m not too keen on wuf wuf – I prefer pussy.

Whilst never actually having kippers in Pattaya, I’ve had one or two things that smelt very reminiscent of kippers.

I’m always looking for the real deal on Thai food in Pattaya and I’ll certainly give it a go on my next visit. Can I just check that the cow pat gow doesn’t actually involve any cow pat?

Before booking a hotel I haven’t used before (in Pattaya or BKK) my policy is to email and ask what is their ‘joiner policy’. In my experience it’s always the same – one extra guest in the room is no problem. Always best to check though as some (allegedly) charge for joiners.

To all the non-smokers replying to this topic, you must remember that nicotine is an extremely addictive substance. Two out of three smokers will die as a direct result of their addiction. Smokers know that cigarettes will eventually kill them, but the addiction is just too strong to resist. If smokers know that what they are doing will eventually kill them, do you really think that they will be concerned about the harm and inconvenience it causes total strangers? If I were addicted to nicotine I wouldn’t give a toss about what it was doing to others and I would come up with lots of arguments to justify my habit - and my breaking the law.

Tried this place again (a few times) during my trip last month. I can definitely recommend the Pad Thai Kung (prawns) at 140 baht from The Asia Noodles counter and the Chicken wrap at 160 baht from the Indian counter.

There was, of course, the famous marathon race in Delhi a few years back where the organisers were swamped with entrants. So, to reduce the number of runners, they made only men who had had vasectomies eligible to race – and ended up with exactly 5000. Remember it? You must’ve heard of The Indian Knackerless 5000.

Good one! I'm going to try that cure. I assume it works on English tarts too.

Thanks for the info. Got my old phone unlocked and fitted with True sim. Works fine at 1 baht per minute to the UK. Only problem now is I can't use my "phoe box not woring" excuse not to phone home! Many thanks for the help.

Thanks for the information. At the cost involved, I would only use my own mobile in an emergency, so I was hoping just to use call boxes, as I usually do. I can use the international call places at 10 to 30 baht per minute, which I can live with for my 2 or 3 minute calls. Next time I'll set up Skype - and this time I mean it! I have my 'old' Theree phone with me, which I use as a music player. I may get it unlocked and try the sim you mentioned. Any places in Pattaya good for unlocking Sony Ericsson phones? Thanks again.

I used to use the Lenso call boxes (& phone cards) in BKK, but they seem to have disappeared this year. There used to be one outside every 7-11. Are there still Lenso Boxes in Pattaya? What is the best (i.e. cheapest) way to call the UK from Pattaya and BKK? Are there any other widely available call boxes? I have a mobile, but it is locked to the Three network. I only need to call for a couple of minues at a time, but at 2 quid a minute to make calls and 1.25 to receive, it gets quite pricey. As usual, all replies will be gratefully received.

As this forum is deigned for guys who like to indulge in P4P etc, I’m guessing that a lack of political correctness isn’t too much of a problem for the majority of us.

Check out the location on the very handy ‘Pattaya Bar Hopping Guide’: http://www.pattayabarguide.com/ It’s marked 19, just past Big C.

No Charge!

For a large portion of nostalgia, check out the excellent ‘Old Photos of Pattaya’ thread in the Members bar: http://www.pattayatalk.com/forums/topic/57767-old-photos-of-pattaya/page__p__944061__hl__pictures__fromsearch__1?do=findComment&comment=944061

Those technical details would have made the gag much funnier!