DrPat

It’s the way I tell them.

The Pope was very ill, and nobody could cure him. The cardinals called in an old physician recommended to them. After an hour long examination, he comes up with a solution. "I've got some good news and some bad news. The bad news: The Pope has a rare testicular disorder. The good news: He can be cured.....by having sex." The cardinals, not happy with the cure, explain the situation to the Pope. "I'll agree to it," says the Pope." But under four conditions." The cardinals were shocked." What are the four conditions?" asks one. "First, the girl must be blind, so she cannot see with whom she is having sex. Second, she must be deaf, so she cannot hear with whom she is having sex. And third, she must be dumb, so if she somehow figures out with whom she is having sex, she can tell no one." After a long pause, a cardinal asks, "And the fourth condition:" "Big tits."

Excellent ad – and even has a good punch line.

Another thing! Emirates have just changed their Ts&Cs. Up until recently you could cancel a ticket for a’£100 penalty’, in other words you’d get back the original fare minus £100. Now the basic saver fares are non-refundable, although it has to be said that this is in line with the majority of other airlines. You can, however, still pay a penalty (and any difference in price) and change the flight to any available date within a year of the original booking.

As predicted, now the ‘special fares’ promotion has ended the Emirates UK to BKK ticket prices for July have returned to the £520-£550 mark. I finally got a prediction right! Had to happen one day. PS The only logical explanation I can come up with for the temporary sharp increase in prices was to give the booking staff an easy time over the bank holiday weekend. Perhaps they were short staffed?

Today is the final day to book for the Emirates ‘special fares’. A word of advice – don’t. During this promotion UK to BKK fares have been increased from the £520-£550 range to £772 (£792 for Fri/Sat/Sun departures) for all flights up to 10 December 2014. Fares during August are even higher (£947), but this coincides with the main UK school holidays. My advice would be to wait for ‘ordinary fares’. I’m reasonable confidant that prices will fall back to the £520+ mark, if only to compete with other airlines. Only time will tell. Edit in: Qatar Airways, Manchester to BKK in July from £502, booked direct with Qatar, sub £500 via an agent. Thanks for the tip Jacko.

A hooded robber bursts into a bank and, at gunpoint, forces the tellers to load their cash into a sack. As the robber approaches the door, one brave customer grabs the hood and pulls it off, revealing the robber's face. Without a moment's hesitation, the robber shoots the customer dead. He then looks around the bank and notices one of the tellers looking straight at him. The robber instantly shoots and kills her too. Everyone in the bank, by now horrified, stares down at the floor in silence. The robber yells, "Well, did anyone else see my face?" A voice from the back of the room says, “I didn’t, sir… but my wife here got a pretty good look at you.”

On May 2nd I received an email from Emirates entitled: Book by 6th May for Emirates worldwide special fares. As is my custom and practice, I have been tracking Emirates prices for the past few weeks for a July LOS trip. During April and up to May 1st prices were around the £520 to £550 mark for June or July flights. With the advent of special fares it’s now £772 and even more for weekend flights. I think that Emirates has missed a trick here. Instead of special fares they should have called them popular prices (popular with Emirates). Needless to say I will continue monitoring fares until they return to a more reasonable level. Maybe this is just to catch a few who book over the (UK) bank holiday weekend? Incidentally, for my March 2014 trip, Emirates were quoting £704 in early January, £640 in late January and £564 when I actually booked on February 10 (for a March 11 outward flight).

I'll answer that question for you Dr. Pat! All of the Nana bars and GoGos were open last night as normal. The only change was that some venues were (very cunningly) serving bottled beer in paper coffee cups (e.g. Spanky's at 155 a cup). I'm convinced that the judiciary would never see through that ruse! However, just a few steps away, Chili GoGo was serving beer in the traditional bottles at 95.

No - unfortunately my Chinese tour group didn't go that way. Anyone know if Nana or Cowboy are open tonight (30 March)

29 March: Just been down Walking Street All GoGos seem to be closed and blacked out. On the bright side, no change to Chinese tour groups. Currently considering joining one.

I caught the beginning of Songkran in BKK one year, or rather it caught me. I love LOS and visit as often as possible but I would refuse a free trip between 10th and 20th April.

A man received a text message from his neighbour which said: "Sorry Jim, but I have been taking advantage of your wife... day and night whenever you've not been at home. In fact, probably more than you. I'm confessing now because I feel really guilty. I hope you will accept my sincerest apologies. I will ask your permission in the future." Upon reading this, Jim gets his gun and without uttering a word he shoots his wife. A few minutes later he receives another text: "Sorry Jim, bloody predictive text! I meant ‘wifi’ not ‘wife’.”

Sorry I accidentally reactivated the 20,000 Baht discussion in this thread - it was just to highlight (in my post #32) that Aeon has recently introduced an ATM fee and this was the most recent thread saying that Aeon machines were fee free.

Bad news. Apparently Aeon are now charging the 150 Baht ATM fee for non-Aeon cards. To the best of my knowledge that only leaves Citibank with fee free withdrawals. I’ll check it out when I’m in BKK next week. Again to the best of my knowledge, there are no Citibank ATMs in Pattaya, but there are a couple in the BKK Citibank branch, handily positioned on the corner of Sukhumvit and Ashok near Soi Cowboy.

On the one hand, we have news reports here in the UK of gunfire on the streets of BKK and the ongoing state of emergency. On the other hand we are told that tourists are still ‘streaming’ into Suvarnabhumi airport. Whilst a good number of the people currently arriving must have booked their trips prior to the start of the current unrest, until some sort of stability returns, visitor numbers must surely decline over the coming months. In normal circumstances I would have flights and hotels booked by now for a February / March visit, but I’m waiting to see how things pan out. In my opinion, a state of emergency and gunfire on the streets are not conducive to a relaxing holiday. Are other Boardies booking their trip or biding their time?

When it comes to Songkran, I’m a member of the ‘did that once, never again club’. My policy is to avoid being in Thailand 10 to 20 April. However, if you enjoy being subjected to large quantities of water of dubious origin, go for it.

It’s an even better country! Whilst in prison you do not have to pay council tax (unless you are in prison for non-payment of council tax).

I arrange to arrive in BKK around noon, so I have time for a massage (etc) before starting on the evening’s entertainment. It’s on to Pattaya a day or two later. I arrange to leave (from another day or two in BKK) in the early hours, so I can spend the evening in Soi Cowboy, then I have few anaesthetics on the plane and cry myself to sleep at the prospect of going home.

Thought I’d bump my Christmas gag. Last year it seemed to amuse some and annoy others – oh yes it did!

As has been said before, pick the right credit card and pick the right ATM and the only charge you will pay is around 1% per month interest on a cash advance. This stops as soon as the amount is paid off, so use internet banking to pay it off immediately or set timed payments before you leave home.

In my opinion you will have a better time visiting some other places in Thailand, as Pattaya is not really designed for visitors such as yourself.

According to the thread in the hotels section, Lovetravelling is two teenage girls.

Anyone in the UK can get reports of the current situation on Aljazeera News (Freeview channel 83). The coverage is much better than the BBC is currently providing.

On the minus side, BBC news is currently reporting a 10pm to 6am curfew in BKK. On the plus side, when there have been similar problems in the past they tend not to last too long. Hopefully things will soon calm down.