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VPI78

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Everything posted by VPI78

  1. Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
  2. After having their 11th child, a Liverpool couple decided that was enough, as the social wouldn't buy them a bigger bed and they weren't strong enough to nick one. The husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that would fix the problem but it was expensive. A less costly alternative was to go home, get a firework, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10. The Scouser said to the doctor, 'I may not be the smartest guy in the wor
  3. A janitor is cleaning the church, when suddenly the priest runs out of the confession booth. He bumps into the janitor and tells him to cover for him because he has to the bathroom. Surprised, the janitor tells the priest that he doesn't know anything about confessions. The priest hands him a sheet of paper and tells him to find the sin on the list and it will tell you how many Hail Mary's to give. So the janitor goes in and then a lady goes in for her confession. She says, 'I'm cheating on my husband.' The janitor thinks, then says 'it's adultery and looks it up the the paper, that'
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