Nightmarch

[PattayaPete 530]

Big Andy is for turning

 

Back to Where It Started: There were rumours the CEB discotheque was not doing as well as the owners had hoped (although this form of entertainment takes time to build up a clientele) and as of 5 August it has been confirmed the place will once more revert to chrome pole palace format. Big Andy has remodelled the inside and will have two large, mirrored dance floors with Damsels of the Disappearing Bikinis doing what he calls ‘non-stop shows’ and table dancing. To draw the early birds through the doors there will be a 35 baht happy hour from 7:30-9:00PM and during this time a dedicated amber fluid slurper can cough up 250 baht and drink as much Heineken as his heart desires or kidney’s can stand. Heineken will be on offer all night after happy hour for 45 baht. After 9:00PM those with a desire to understand the meaning of the word ‘oblivion’ can hand over a grey note with the numerals 1000 embossed on both sides and drink until closing time at no extra charge. I’m feeling inebriated just writing this.

 

Get A Load Off Your Hard Drive: I can’t quite see it being a marketing winner, but the Misty’s gogo (Pattayaland Soi 2) now offers customers the opportunity of wandering into the joint and taking advantage of wireless Internet access with a 500KB upload capability and a 1GB download. I suppose if you happen to wander out of the house telling the trouble-and-strife you’re off to do a spot of downloading or uploading and you’ve got the laptop under your arm she’s less likely to be suspicious than if you saunter out with a wallet-load of purple and grey personality and not much else.

 

Misty’s is currently one of the best of the off-Walking Street ogling dens. The den has plenty of chrome pole huggers (10 on stage at any one time) with a mixture of ages, shapes and sizes to suit most tastes; the air-conditioning is cool; the music is passable, and thankfully not an assault on the auditory senses. The place looks clean and fresh, unlike so many other dens that could really do with a coat or two of paint and a little refurbishment.

 

Libations run to 70 baht for Tiger draught, in a decent-sized glass, although the price of lolly water at 95 baht still baffles me. Then again, this is a running complaint I have with almost every den in town. There is far greater profit per glass in lolly water (be it orange juice or plain H2O) than a draught amber, yet the majority of joints sting any punter who wants the non-alcoholic stuff. Anyway, liver wasters in Misty’s are pricey at 120 baht, but to be fair, the den puts in a full nip and it comes in a big glass.

 

Ice, Ice, Baby: The Blue Ice Beauty Contest held on 20 July in the Jupiter’s gogo(Pattayaland Soi 2) proved to be a success with the chrome pole palace well patronised in the hour or so before the main event got under way around 11:00PM. Blue Ice is a San Miguel product retailing at 99 baht in the den. The dancing damsels were attired in very fetching blue bikinis, a slightly different design and style to those extant in most dens, and I hope management continue to use them as the standard for their dancers.

 

Appropriately Named: Sometimes it really is cheese and chalk between gogos, even in the environs of Walking Street. Opposite the hugely successful and continually popular Living Dolls Showcase den a more modest chrome pole palace called Circus opened a few months ago. They originally started by having no happy hour at all and charging like wounded bulls for libations but then wondered where all the punters were. So, they introduced the best happy hour in town with a buy-one-get-one-free for a mere 45 baht. It couldn’t last as there was no way they were making any money, so now they’ve dropped the extra libation and reverted to a simple 45 baht for draught amber and house liver wasters. This still hasn’t reversed what must be an inevitable slide into gogooblivion as the place has all the ambience of a broom closet and is not much wider than same. The dancing damsels are veterans and may well have applied for a job in the belief they were running away to join the circus. There are no bearded ladies, midgets or trapeze artists but given the chrome pole molesters employed management may well do better to start thinking about living up to the name of the joint and gather together some circus-trained performers.

 

Fluctuating Numbers: After a rash of openings during the previous 12 months or so, the number of gogos in the Walking Street area has suffered a reduction in recent times with the likes of Folies Pigalle and Roof closing their doors and now the original Nui’s in Soi 15 has shut up shop, although the reason in this case is not lack of custom but redevelopment of the site on which it was located. No need for anybody to be concerned about an increase in the Thai unemployment rate as the dancing damsels of Nui’s have simply moved to inflate the numbers in the Nui’s 2 operation on Walking Street.

 

Where’s a Thai Calendar When You Need One? I’m told the two American owners of the new Coyote’s agogo- situated in the ‘black hole’ on Soi Marina Plaza, off Pratamnak Road- made arrangements to hold their grand opening on Friday 22 July. The problem was this happened to be the second of two major Buddha days and all boozers in the Kingdom were closed. Anyway, the place opened 24-hours later. Coyote’s is the fourth night-time operation to be opened on the site in the last four years, following Party Zone, X, and Feigling Pub.

 

Bottoms Up: The Carousel gogo(Soi Diamond) has been one of the better places in Fun Town for many years and offers one of the better happy hours with all libations priced at just 50 baht between 8:00 and 10:00PM. The den is also flogging draught amber after happy hour at 45 baht all night. The place remains popular, the carousel being the first and still the best in Pattaya, but the music is dreadful and the quality of the chrome pole molesters is average, with a number sporting the well-fed look of the newly prosperous. The again, on a recent visit to Saigon (Ho Chi Minh City for the politically correct) I had a reality check as I watched a number of foreign females sauntering about the streets lugging backpacks and couldn’t stop thinking of howdahs and elephants. By comparison, the damsels caressing the chrome poles in Carousel were positively waif-like.

 

Wealth and Health Warning: As the economy worsens and the number of walking wallets diminishes more and more of the needy and the greedy are turning to easier ways of making ends meet rather than engaging in that hated four-letter word called work. In the late 1990s there were a number of high-profile incidents reported regarding individuals and gangs engaged in luring unsuspecting foreigners back to their hotel rooms, drugging them and stealing their valuables. An incident like this happened to a couple of my friends (and-time for a shameless plug- are recounted in a chapter in my book Pattaya, Patpong on Steroids) but it seems as though it’s happening again.

 

An Australian man who’s been here for a long time was coming home after a night of alcoholic indulgence when he was approached by an attractive young damsel who offered to come back to his abode and give him a ‘massage’. The next thing he remembers is waking up about a day later with a throbbing head to find a few thousand baht missing. He didn’t bother going to the police as he had no name and no firm information about the woman. This is something that could happen to anyone, no matter whether you’ve been here 10 days or 10 years. As the duty sergeant used to say on Hill Street Blues, “Be careful out there.”

 

No Bunnies Around Here: I recently attended the wedding of a friend where the reception was held at the Rabbit Resort on Jomtien beach. The management have trained the staff well and the service was impeccable and friendly while the buffet- including tod mun blah, gang keo wun gai, and other Thai favourites- was exceptional, prompting more than a few guests to second helpings. Located about half-way along the pathway leading to Pattaya Park, Rabbit Resort is a perfect place to kick back and relax in the late afternoon or early evening for a few drinks and dinner with friends. Check out their website for more details: www.rabbitresort.com

 

Piece of Pith: The people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away. And the real pains in the ass are permanent.

[davethailand 91]

I’m told the two American owners of the new Coyote’s agogo- situated in the ‘black hole’ on Soi Marina Plaza,

What about the other 6 owners

 

Was with Andy the other night and I think this new format will certainly be better than the old electric blue, It should be better than Coyotee in my opinion.

Edited July 28, 2005 by davethailand

[JollyMan 0]

Hi

I am a new member here but been about a while and just l;ike to say that the Coyotee is a smart place and having girls from the other places work there I feel at home there ! Just love the firemans pole but girls watch out for a friction burn

[HILLY 9]

PattayaPete Posted: Jul 29 2005, 12:26 AM 

The place looks clean and fresh, unlike so many other dens that could really do with a coat or two of paint and a little refurbishment.

 

Hmm I can think of somewhere that needs some work done on it.

[MM 6,562]

Hmm I can think of somewhere that needs some work done on it.

And where might that be?

 

FYI, FLB was repainted over the closure July 21/22.

[davethailand 91]

Why is Nightmarch still being written in this pathetic style (stupid terms etc)?

Its lucky its free as as a bar owner myself i really don't think its worth the paper its written on. It only caters for beer bars and gogo's on "how to drink as cheaply as possible whilst groping girls for free"

Edited August 1, 2005 by davethailand

[DSbadger 0]

how to drink as cheaply as possible whilst groping girls for free

 

Somehow I don't find this a problem.

 

Keep'em coming I say!

[PokerUpFront 0]

I like the current format, but agree that it could be more encompassing. How about a walk down 2nd and Beach Rd and Soi 6,7 and 8 while making an observation or two about new happenings in these areas. Inquiring minds want to know. Maybe add one or two pics of some stunners and new venues you see during the nitemarch.

 

There are lots of BMs living in Pattaya, may three or four or you could do the crawl together and each of you write about a part of town. Give Soi 7 the Soi beat, Pete the Walking Street beat, Daveinthailand the live music venue beat, etc...

 

[PattayaPete 530]

Remember guys, this is a syndicated column written by Duncan Stern. He's an aussi and writes in an aussi style.

 

You'd be surprised how time consuming compiling this sort of report is. I tried it once and gave up after two weeks. The good thing about Duncan is that he's been doing it for over two years now and keeps on pumping them out.

 

Looking back over some of the old Nightmarches can be an interesting wander down memory lane

[davethailand 91]

I know Duncan as he used to come in my place and sniff around my missus (before she was my missus ) surprising how after I rid the gogo image from the bar that nightmarch never bothered coming back, they used to be regulars. maybe its because i won't give them free drinks for a revue i don't need.

[HILLY 9]

MM Posted: Aug 1 2005, 04:36 PM 

QUOTE (HILLY @ Aug 1 2005, 04:38 PM)

 

Hmm I can think of somewhere that needs some work done on it. 

 

 

And where might that be? 

 

FYI, FLB was repainted over the closure July 21/22.

 

I am delighted to hear that and will look forward to seeing the brighter, fresher and cleaner FLB in 4 weks time. Well hopefully not too clean unless they painted the staff as well.

[Sa-teef 44]

""how to drink as cheaply as possible whilst groping girls for free""

 

Aw Dave, that's all that ANY OF US do according to some anyway.....

 

I really enjoy Duncan's writing style actually. Interesting.

 

 

"...unless they painted the staff as well. "

 

Heaven help us! I hope not!!

 

I like my TG's just the way they are, thank you.

 

 

~Sa-teef

Edited August 4, 2005 by Sa-teef

[Emil 0]

I know Duncan as he used to come in my place and sniff around my missus (before she was my missus ) surprising how after I rid the gogo image from the bar that nightmarch never bothered coming back, they used to be regulars. maybe its because i won't give them free drinks for a revue i don't need.

Maybe he quit coming because you got rid of the go-go image. His target audience are the punters who like to drink and are whoremongers, not those interested in listening to music.

 

Then again maybe because he found out your missus wasn't available.