London Times Obituary of the late Mr. Common Sense

[sinbinjack 251]

London Times Obituary of the late Mr. Common Sense

 

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has

been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his

birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be

remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: knowing when to

come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always

fair; and maybe it was my fault.

 

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more

than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in

charge).

 

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but

overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy

charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from

school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for r

eprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

 

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job

that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

 

 

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent

to administer sun lotion or an Elastoplast to a student; but could not

inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an

abortion.

 

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became

contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better

treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't

defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue

you for assault.

 

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to

realise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her

lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

 

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his

wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is

survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone

Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.

 

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you

still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.'

[monkeyman 1,604]

I hear that the British Government is now selling tickets for the dance to be held on his grave.

[joekicker 53]

A forwarded, very old, Internet spam extolling common sense. How droll.

 

Also, still looking for "London Times" whatever the hell that is. It's not a newspaper, although there is a newspaper named The Times in London, England. If it weren't for the tragic Death of Research we would know that, too.