PERKS OF BEING OVER 50

[xen 0]

PERKS OF BEING OVER 50

 

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

 

2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

 

3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.

 

4. People call at 9 pm and ask, Did I wake you????

 

5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

 

6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

 

7. Things you buy now won't wear out.

 

8. You can eat supper at 4 pm .

 

9. You can live without sex but not your glasses. (debatable)

 

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

 

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

 

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

 

13. You sing along with elevator music.

 

14. Your eyes won't get much worse.

 

15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

 

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

 

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

 

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

 

 

19. You can't remember who sent you this list .

 

And you notice these are all in Big Print for

 

Your convenience.

 

Forward this to every one you can remember..

 

[joekicker 53]

Fifty? Really?

 

I will resist the temptation to brag.

[Evades 0]

20. It is finally okay to NOT be right about everything.

 

Thanks for the post and, at 54, I feel all of them except the sex part. That is a long way off!!!

 

Have a Great Day,

 

Evades

Edited June 17, 2008 by Evades

[brotherbuzz 3,196]

Funny stuff xen

[Rhoel 2]

And you notice these are all in Big Print for Your convenience.

 

??? What large type???

[Eneukman 1]

4. If people call me at 9.00 pm, I'll tell them to call me back in the morning as I'll be more interested in getting physical with a tg at that time of evening. And if they call me at 9.00 am, I'll be asking them why the hell they're phoning me in the middle of the night or yell at them for coitus interruptus.

 

9. I have to accept that I cannot live without my glasses but without sex? I aim to be the 90 year old who gets shot dead by a jealous lover.

 

Alan

[MM 6,562]

Rules of growing old:

 

1. Never pass up a chance to pee.

2. Never waste a hardon.

3. Never trust a fart.

 

Found at http://4peeps.com/ivb/index.php?showtopic=6345

 

Anyone seen "The Bucket List"? Were these mentioned in there as well? I have it, but haven't watched it yet, but someone mentioned truths 2 and 3 as being in the movie.

[player 1]

Anyone seen "The Bucket List"? Were these mentioned in there as well? I have it, but haven't watched it yet, but someone mentioned truths 2 and 3 as being in the movie.

Saw it on the way back from LOS, but can't remember if that was in there . I thought it was a very enjoyable movie. It re-enforced the idea that you better go out and live your life (see family, friends, go places like Thailand) and not just sit home behind a keyboard all day (like some do). Because when it is all coming to a close you will be thinking, I had some good times, not "I wish I had...".

 

As far as aging goes, just don't look forward to ending up like granpa here!

 

GRANDPA'S ON THE PORCH AGAIN

 

A man came to visit his grandparents, and he noticed his grandfather sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, wearing only a shirt, with nothing on from the waist down.

'Grandpa, what are you doing? Your weenie is out in the wind for everyone to see!', he exclaimed.

 

The old man looked off in the distance without answering.

 

'Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?' he asked again.

 

The old man slowly looked at him and said,

'Well...last week I sat out here with no shirt on,

and I got a stiff neck. This is your grandma's idea.

[whilliam_mancon 2]

I don´t need glasses, they all look so much better that way!