Top Ten Country & Western Songs

[BigusDicus 9,871]

Top Ten Country & Western Songs:

 

 

 

10. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine.

 

 

 

9. I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman But I Woke Up With a Few.

 

 

 

8. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me.

 

 

 

7. I've Missed You, But My Aim's Improvin'.

 

 

 

6. Wouldn't Take Her To A Dogfight 'Cause I'm Scared She'd Win.

 

 

 

5. I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like You're Still Here.

 

 

 

4. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Miss Him.

 

 

 

3. She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger.

 

 

 

2. She's Lookin' Better with Every Beer.

 

 

 

And the Number One Country & Western song is...

 

 

 

1. It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed My Ass All Day Long.

[MrMango 667]

My all time favorite is Jimmy Buffet's classic "Lets all get drunk and screw"

[joekicker 53]

Some people think these are made up. The Number 1 song is just a year or three old, and was on the charts for quite a while. It's by a hugely successful country star.

 

My favourite line: Oh, my life has become / A country song.

 

http://www.lyricstime.com/vince-gill-it-s-...ght-lyrics.html

 

 

My all time favorite is Jimmy Buffet's classic "Lets all get drunk and screw"

 

I think David Allen Coe has my top five or six. Funny, they are both from that centre of country and western culture - Florida!

[nohlsson1 19]

I have 3 of those top ten. Some of that David Allen Coe is a must hear.

[joekicker 53]

I have 3 of those top ten. Some of that David Allen Coe is a must hear.

 

... whose most recent hit included (sic) the perfect country song:

 

Well, I was drunk the day my Mom got outta prison.

And I went to pick her up in the rain.

But, before I could get to the station in my pickup truck

She got runned over by a damned old train.

 

In my opinion it is not perfect. There's no little gal, but much more importantly there's no dawg.

[nohlsson1 19]

... whose most recent hit included (sic) the perfect country song:

 

Well, I was drunk the day my Mom got outta prison.

And I went to pick her up in the rain.

But, before I could get to the station in my pickup truck

She got runned over by a damned old train.

 

In my opinion it is not perfect. There's no little gal, but much more importantly there's no dawg.

 

 

You don't have to call me darling...darling!

 

Just had to listen to that one again!

[btm1735 232]

... whose most recent hit included (sic) the perfect country song:

 

Well, I was drunk the day my Mom got outta prison.

And I went to pick her up in the rain.

But, before I could get to the station in my pickup truck

She got runned over by a damned old train.

 

In my opinion it is not perfect. There's no little gal, but much more importantly there's no dawg.

 

Just hope you don't go quoting too much David Allen Coe in mixed racial company.

[joekicker 53]

Gee, I don't know... Pussywhipped Again, Three Biggest Lies, Beer is Good for You. I figure Asian people would like them okay.

[nohlsson1 19]

Just hope you don't go quoting too much David Allen Coe in mixed racial company.

 

I will agree that there is some that even I won't listen too. Though I have heard just as bad comments, coming from old Richard Pryor and Chevy Chase skits.

 

 

 

Gee, I don't know... Pussywhipped Again, Three Biggest Lies, Beer is Good for You. I figure Asian people would like them okay.

 

Strangley enoughI have met a couple of Thai girls that loved Pussywhipped Again.

[kimchikid 0]

WHY DIDN'T

DON'T PISS INTO THE WIND OR YOU WILL WEAR SPOTTED BOOTS

MAKE THE TOP 10?

[nohlsson1 19]

Here are some more.

 

 

1. Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In Bed

2. Get Your Tongue Otta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye

3. Her Teeth Was Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure

4. How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?

5. I Can't Get Over You, So Why Don't You Get Under Me

6. I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling

7. I Got In At 2 With a 10, And Woke Up At 10 With a 2.

8. I Hate Every Bone In Your Body Except For Mine

9. I Just Bought A Car From A Guy That Stole My Girl, But The Car Don't Run, So I figure We Got An Even Deal

10. I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You

11. I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well

12. I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better

13. I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dog Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win

14. I'll Marry You Tomorrow But Let's Honeymoon Tonight

15. I'm So miserable Without You, It's Like Having You Here

16. I've Got Tears in My Ears From Lying On My Back While I Cry Over you

17. If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You

18. If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out By Now

19. Mama Get A Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)

20. My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Love Rovers

21. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, and I Sure Do Miss Him

22. Please Bypass this Heart

23. She Got The Ring and I Got The Finger

24. You're the Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly

[joekicker 53]

Here are some more.

 

snip snip

 

20. My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Love Rovers

 

And now, as usual, we get to the urban legends part of the thread. I think we should be told the artists who recorded these "country and western" songs.

 

There is a song called My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love Jesus by Jimmy Buffett. Which country singer recorded your Number 20?

[btm1735 232]

Gee, I don't know... Pussywhipped Again, Three Biggest Lies, Beer is Good for You. I figure Asian people would like them okay.

 

Think you should should ask a few members how they feel about a song that goes something like "nothing more worthless than a white woman who a been with a black man". Something like that, maybe you could look up the exact lyrics for us. Since you have to use *&^%# for profanity it should be interesting to see you try and post. Something tells me you won't have the guts. Go ahead, prove me wrong. Actually it wouldn't be that brave as the black guys I know on this board go to Pattaya for fun and wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire, regardless of what you say. But the fact that you are a David Allen Coe fan without even knowing what he is about speaks volumes about you.

Edited July 11, 2008 by btm1735

[itishotiniraq 0]

I like David Allan Coe also and I don't think there is anything wrong with that. I may not agree with all of his songs but it is not a reflection of who I am or my personality. I can bet there is an artist you like who has lyrics that everyone would not agree with. Just a matter of opinion is all.

[vidman 2]

Or what about the Billy Connolly classic

 

"My granny's a cripple in Nashville"

[mws1234 0]

Can't remember name of artist, but my favorite is :All the girls get prettier at closing time"...... I also used to like : "Take this job and shove it!"

[joekicker 53]

Here's a pretty good country song.

 

The Big One

Edited July 26, 2008 by joekicker

[mws1234 0]

JoeKicker, that's a good One...and the devil made him do it! I've blamed the devil on alot of things I've done.