Christmas Cake

[N3RGT 118]

My Christmas Cake

 

Ingredients

 

2 Cups Flour

1 Stick Butter

1 Cup of Water

1 Tsp baking soda

1 Cup sugar

1 Tsp Salt

1 Cup of Brown Sugar

Lemon Juice

4 Large Eggs

Nuts

2 Bottles Wine

2 Cups Dried Fruit

 

Method

 

Sample the wine to check the quality. Take a large bowl, check the wine again

to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one

teaspoon of sugar. Beat again.

At this point it’s best to make sure the wine is still OK. Try another cup….just in case !

Turn off the mixery thingy. Break two eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

 

Pick the friggin’ fruit up off the floor. Mix on the turner. If the fried druid gets stuck in the beaters just pry it loose with a screwdriver. Sample the wine for tonsisticity. Next sift two cups of salt or something. Check the wine. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar or somefink…. whatever you can find !

Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don’t forget to beat off the turner ! Finally throw the bowl through the window. Finish the wine, wipe the counter with the cat and F..K off to Tesco and buy a cake !