The Jews Sank the Titanic

[jamie392305 764]

Just to keep things balanced, here are are some jokes about Muslims. I copied them from an Internet site and the OP there says he has nothing against Muslims, so they must be OK.

 

Evil

 

Q: What is the difference between Islam and polio?

A: Science has not yet found a cure for Islam.

 

 

There are three rules for being a good Muslim. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

 

 

Police in London have found a bomb outside a mosque. They've told the public not to panic as they have managed to push it inside.

 

 

A white man walks into an immigrant pub in London, totally shattered, screaming “All Muslims are shitheads."

A man sitting in the corner shouts, “I take serious offense to that! It's a bloody lie!”

The white guy asks, “Why? Are you a Muslim?”

He replies proudly, “No. I'm a shithead.”

 

 

One day, a Muslim goatherder woke up to find that all 100 of his goats had died. Without his goats, he is ruined. So he goes to the nearby lake, and drowns himself. His son wakes up, reads the note left by his father, and decides that life isn't worth living. So he goes to the lake to drown himself as well.

There is a mermaid there. She tells the boy that if he can screw her 5 times, she will resurrect his father, and all the goats. He looks at her bemused and says "What about 100 times?

The mermaid goes "Err, you think that you can handle it?"

The young Muslim lad replies, "Sure! How do you think all the goats died?"

 

 

:thumbup :whistling:

[atlas2 4,329]

Offensive to mermaids.

[Evil Penevil 7,628]

Offensive to mermaids.

 

I didn't think about that! Having been raised in a land-living culture, I'm just not sensitive to sea-dwelling dual-species individuals. I wonder if mermaid is considered a derogatory term? Should it be "sea-adapted females?"

 

Evil

[BigusDicus 9,838]

Very good Evil!

[MM 6,562]

I'm wondering if the same outrage would have been present if the joke were about Negresses and Africans.

[joekicker 53]

I'm wondering if the same outrage would have been present if the joke were about Negresses and Africans.

 

Oh, I know that joke. It starts out:

 

Cebual, an African and a Negress ....

 

The punch line is: The Aristocrats.

 

.

Edited May 19, 2011 by joekicker

[short 215]

Cebual, this joke is not about the Jews. Its about how people incorrectly group cultures together.

[danboy 151]

Anyone who is offended by the OPs joke needs to have a serious word with themselves!

[moon71 1]

Not Funny....Not Funny at all.....Millions of Jews Murdered by the Nazi's, Families obliterated in the most horrible circumstances....The Nazi's started their campaign of Murder in a beer hall telling jokes like the one in this thread ...Not Funny

 

How sure are you that the holocaust and campaign of murder started specifically because of jokes in a beer hall?

 

I was at the understanding that allot of the racial tensions in german society in the 30's and 40's, was due to a severe depression, with the background set from the 1st world war. Whilst in this great depression, most germans had difficulty obtaining food, so anger grew against the jewish community because allot of jewish bakerys supplied to jewish families 'through the back of the shop' whilst claiming to be out of stock. Jewish businesses are known to have profiteered in this financial climate with a dual pricing policy or 'family pricing'.

 

You may dispute my facts, i am no historian and can not remember where i read this, it's history. I was never in germany in the 40's, niether were you.

 

But for a fact, i dispute your facts. The holocaust did not start in a beer hall telling jokes.

 

Nope, i am not a racist before you start a troll war.

 

But i do like jokes.

 

"Mummy, can you get pregnant through anal sex"

 

"Why yes love, thats where muslims come from".

 

It's only a joke..................

[2 slices short 10]

I was at the understanding that allot of the racial tensions in german society in the 30's and 40's, was due to a severe depression, with the background set from the 1st world war. Whilst in this great depression, most germans had difficulty obtaining food, so anger grew against the jewish community because allot of jewish bakerys supplied to jewish families 'through the back of the shop' whilst claiming to be out of stock. Jewish businesses are known to have profiteered in this financial climate with a dual pricing policy or 'family pricing'.

We must have had the same history teacher.

 

Cheers : Admiral Ken

[atlas2 4,329]

We must have had the same history teacher.

 

Cheers : Admiral Ken

 

Some years ago in a beer keller somewhere in Berlin.

 

'Hi Hitler.......You vont a beer?'

 

'Yaa'vol dumkof. Is vy I come here is to drink zer beer, slap zer ledehausen...and oggle Helda's enormous boobies.'

 

'Ja Ja... like zer udders of my cow ha ha ..........'

 

' Adolph, haft yo herd zer von about zer 2 Heredi Jooze?'

 

'Heredi' ...........zis is meaning 'fearful'.....trembling in zer face of Godt ya?'

 

Ya ya, zat is correct.... Von says to zer ozer, 'Who vos zat lady I saw you viz last nicht?' Zer ozer von says ........vait for it......it's goot....... he says, 'Not my vife, not my vife'

 

 

'Ha ha ha..... zat is a goot joke....... if you understand Heredi customs unt behaviour. You are a vunny vellow Fritz.'

 

Now zat you make zis joke, I vant to take over Germany, invade Poland, March down zer Champs Eyleez, zen take all zee frog crunching, snail chewer's wine and ban zer galic. Zen I vill kick zome fat english arse.

 

'Churchill.........vot a vonker. Zen I vill kill all the jooz and zer gipsies and zen zer whole fcking vorld...'

 

'Are you sure it is not because your application to zee, 'Vienna School of Architecture' vos turned down zat you feel so angry?' #

 

 

 

'.......Zat too......... but mainly zer joke.'

 

 

# Editors note .......Who knows how the world's history would have been different had Hitler been better at drawing.

Edited May 27, 2011 by atlas2

[midlifecrisis 4,040]

How sure are you that the holocaust and campaign of murder started specifically because of jokes in a beer hall?

 

I was at the understanding that allot of the racial tensions in german society in the 30's and 40's, was due to a severe depression, with the background set from the 1st world war. Whilst in this great depression, most germans had difficulty obtaining food, so anger grew against the jewish community because allot of jewish bakerys supplied to jewish families 'through the back of the shop' whilst claiming to be out of stock. Jewish businesses are known to have profiteered in this financial climate with a dual pricing policy or 'family pricing'.

 

You may dispute my facts, i am no historian and can not remember where i read this, it's history. I was never in germany in the 40's, niether were you.

 

But for a fact, i dispute your facts. The holocaust did not start in a beer hall telling jokes.

 

Nope, i am not a racist before you start a troll war.

 

But i do like jokes.

 

"Mummy, can you get pregnant through anal sex"

 

"Why yes love, thats where muslims come from".

 

It's only a joke..................

The roots of anti-Semitism in Europe go back to the middle ages if not all the way back to the Diaspora. You don't know history you only know what you heard or read that resonated with your gut. That does not make it true. It simply fits how you feel. And my mother was born in Germany in 1925. Half of my extended family is/was from there. Trust me you are ignorant on the subject.

[moon71 1]

The roots of anti-Semitism in Europe go back to the middle ages if not all the way back to the Diaspora. You don't know history you only know what you heard or read that resonated with your gut. That does not make it true. It simply fits how you feel. And my mother was born in Germany in 1925. Half of my extended family is/was from there. Trust me you are ignorant on the subject.

 

My point was that a holocaust did not happen simply because of some jokes in a beer hall. Did you read my post at all before you hastily replied. It was about the facts that jokes don't start holocausts. Did you miss that?

 

How can you claim that all the history i know is what i have read and resonates with my gut. And for that, am i truely ignorant on the subject? I will add that i have a degree in modern history, so do we now have to list credentials to our posts to emphasis who's more right? And to add, my country is steep in history and i have seen sites where crimes against jews have been commited. They are shamefull acts in history. I doubt these were started with jokes about jews in the back street pubs in ancient england.

 

I am happy that allot of your family were born in germany 1925, i guess that gives you a right to oppinion. But what has that to do with my post you replied to?

 

It would be pointless to rip this post apart.

 

All i state is the holocause never started because of jokes in beer hall. Sorry you missed that.

[Bazle 1,455]

My point was that a holocaust did not happen simply because of some jokes in a beer hall. Did you read my post at all before you hastily replied. It was about the facts that jokes don't start holocausts. Did you miss that?

 

How can you claim that all the history i know is what i have read and resonates with my gut. And for that, am i truely ignorant on the subject? I will add that i have a degree in modern history, so do we now have to list credentials to our posts to emphasis who's more right? And to add, my country is steep in history and i have seen sites where crimes against jews have been commited. They are shamefull acts in history. I doubt these were started with jokes about jews in the back street pubs in ancient england.

 

I am happy that allot of your family were born in germany 1925, i guess that gives you a right to oppinion. But what has that to do with my post you replied to?

 

It would be pointless to rip this post apart.

 

All i state is the holocause never started because of jokes in beer hall. Sorry you missed that.

Your post confirms what I have thought for quite a while - in the UK, nowadays you can get into university and get a degree without having learned to spell.

[midlifecrisis 4,040]

My point was that a holocaust did not happen simply because of some jokes in a beer hall. Did you read my post at all before you hastily replied. It was about the facts that jokes don't start holocausts. Did you miss that?

 

How can you claim that all the history i know is what i have read and resonates with my gut. And for that, am i truely ignorant on the subject? I will add that i have a degree in modern history, so do we now have to list credentials to our posts to emphasis who's more right? And to add, my country is steep in history and i have seen sites where crimes against jews have been commited. They are shamefull acts in history. I doubt these were started with jokes about jews in the back street pubs in ancient england.

 

I am happy that allot of your family were born in germany 1925, i guess that gives you a right to oppinion. But what has that to do with my post you replied to?

 

It would be pointless to rip this post apart.

 

All i state is the holocause never started because of jokes in beer hall. Sorry you missed that.

You obviously did not read mine as you mis-stated and you are wound way too tight for a civil discussion.

 

Have a beer and relax!