Two Whales

[Bazle 1,493]

Two whales, a male and a female, were swimming side by side in the ocean.

 

Suddenly, the male whale spots a ship in the distance. He recognizes it as the whaling ship that killed his father.

 

Filled with anger, he says to his female companion, "That's the ship that killed my father! Let's swim closer!"

 

When they were close enough, the male said, "Why don't we swim under the ship and blow air through our blow holes and break the ship into a million pieces? That will be sweet revenge." And the female agreed to this.

 

So they each took a deep breath of air, swam under the ship and blew enormous amounts of air under the ship. The ship flew into the air and crashed back to the sea and broke into a million pieces.

 

The pair of whales started to swim off when they realized that the sailors were not dead, but clinging to pieces of wood and floating in the ocean.

 

The male whale was furious and said to the female whale, "They're still alive, but I've got another idea. Let's swim around and gulp up all the sailors!"

 

That's when the female stopped swimming, looked at the male and said, "Oh no... I agreed to the blow job but I'm NOT swallowing the seamen!"

[ttk 236]

An American was travelling in England writes back to his friends.

 

 

Last week I was in a pub and heard two ladies talking.

After a while I walked up to them and asked "Excuse me ladies, I heard you talking, are you Scots?"

 

One of the ladies turns and in a rather arrogant voice says we are Wales.

 

I replied. “Oh sorry, are you two whales Scots”.

 

I should be out of the hospital in time for my flight home.

[gs joe 1,778]

An Eskimos (or Inuit ) Father and Son come home after a hunting trip ,

 

the Father ask his Wife " whats for tea ?"

 

the reply is Vera Lynn ,

 

the Son says " not whale meet again ."

 

Joe

Edited May 19, 2012 by gs joe