Passport letter

[pattaya_mad 208]

ACTUAL PASSPORT LETTER:

 

This, apparently, is an actual letter received by the UK Passport Office.

 

Dear Sirs,

...

I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe how is it that Sky Television has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a bleeding satellite dish from them back in 1988, and yet, the Government is still asking me where I was bloody born and on what date.

 

Do you guys do this by hand?

 

My birth date you have on my pension book.

 

It's on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30 years.

 

It is on my National Health card.

 

My driving licence.

 

My car insurance.

 

On the last eight damn passports I've had.

 

It's on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the plane over the last 30 years.

 

All those insufferable census forms.

 

Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Mary Anne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be absolutely astounded if that WOULD ever change between now and when I die!!

 

I apologise, I'm really pissed off this morning.

Between you an' me, I've had enough of this bullshit!

 

You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my bleeding address!!

 

What is going on? Do you have a gang of neanderthal arseholes workin' there?

 

Look at my damn picture.

 

Do I look like Bin Laden?

 

I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes. I just want to go and park my arse on some sandy beach somewhere.

 

And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days?

 

If I ever got the urge to do something wierd to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, you'd be the last fucking people I'd want to tell!

 

Well, I have to go now,'cause I have to go to the other end of the poxy city to get another fucking copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of £30.

 

Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day?

 

Nooooooooooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe make sense.

 

You'd rather have us running all over the fuckin' place like chickens with our heads cut off, then WE have to find some arsehole to confirm that it's really me on the damn picture - you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile?! (bureaucratic fuckin' morons)

 

Hey, do you know why we couldn't smile if we wanted to? Because we're totally pissed off!

 

Signed

 

An Irate Citizen

 

P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to confirm that it's me?

 

Well, my family has been in this country since 1776 ...

 

I have served in the military for something over 30 years and have had full security clearances over 25 of those years enabling me to undertake highly secretive missions all over the world.

 

However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor ..

 

WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN FRIGGIN` PAKISTAN!

[mrlasvegas 124]

Very funny.

[steamer 158]

It's made The rounds. Last time I swear it was an Aussie but who knows.

 

http://all-funny.info/actual-letter-to-the-canadian-passport-office

 

 

 

Dear Mr. Minister,

I’m in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this.

How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a t.v. cable from them back in 1997, and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date.

For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand?

My birth date you have on my social insurance card, and it is on all the income tax forms I’ve filed for the past 30 years. It is on my health insurance card, my driver’s license, on the last eight goddamn passports I’ve had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I’ve had to fill out before being allowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that are done at election times.

Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother’s name is Maryanne, my father’s name is Robert and I’d be absolutely astounded if that ever changed between now and when I die!

SHIT!

I apologize, Mr. Minister. I’m really pissed off this morning. Between you an’ me, I’ve had enough of this bullshit! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my fuckin’ address. What is going on? You have a gang of Neanderthals assholes workin’ there?

Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don’t want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes. I just want to go and park my ass on a sandy beach.

And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I’d sure as hell not want to tell anyone!

Well, I have to go now, ’cause I have to go to the other end of the city and get another fuckin’ copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of $60 !!!

Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day??

Nooooo, that’d be too damn easy and maybe make sense. You’d rather have us running all over the fuckin’ place like chickens with our heads cut off, then find some asshole to confirm that it’s really me on the goddamn picture – you know, the one where we’re not allowed to smile?!

(fuckin’ morons)

Hey, you know why we can’t smile? We’re totally pissed off!

Signed – An Irate fucking Canadian Citizen.

P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to confirm that it’s me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1776 when one of my forefathers took up arms against the Americans. I have served in the military for something over 30 years and have had security clearances up the yingyang.

I was aide de camp to the lieutenant governor of our province for ten years and I have been doing volunteer work for the RCMP for about five years.

However, I have to get someone ‘important’ to verify who I am – you know, someone like my doctor WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN COMMUNIST fucking CHINA!!!

Hamilton, Ontario Canada

[pattaya_mad 208]

yea pretty funny, but sure its a fake, you don`t need a birth certtificate and photo verification when you are renewing your passport.

[Basil B 46]

yea pretty funny, but sure its a fake, you don`t need a birth certtificate and photo verification when you are renewing your passport.

 

And when did you last have to fill out a customs declaration to enter the UK?

[Severn 109]

And when were pension books last issued.

 

 

 

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