Bar Humor

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Some may have noticed if it had been a male dog ?

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What it’s come down to

 

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If you are older and American chances are you will get this....

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A janitor is cleaning the church, when suddenly the priest runs out of the confession booth. He bumps into the janitor and tells him to cover for him because he has to the bathroom.

Surprised, the janitor tells the priest that he doesn't know anything about confessions. The priest hands him a sheet of paper and tells him to find the sin on the list and it will tell you how many Hail Mary's to give.

So the janitor goes in and then a lady goes in for her confession. She says, 'I'm cheating on my husband.' The janitor thinks, then says 'it's adultery and looks it up the the paper, that'll be two Hail Mary's.'

The lady says, 'That's not all, I also slept with him.' The janitor thinks again, and says 'it's adultery and looks it up the the paper, that'll be two more Hail Mary's.'

Then she says, 'I also gave him a blowjob.' The janitor looks on the paper and can't find the word 'blowjob'.

He gets nervous and runs out of the booth looking for help. He finally reaches a little alter boy and asks him, 'What does the priest usually give for a blowjob?' The little alter boy looks at him and says, 'two candies'

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After having their 11th child, a Liverpool couple decided that was enough, as the social wouldn't buy them a bigger bed and they weren't strong enough to nick one.

The husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that would fix the problem but it was expensive. A less costly alternative was to go home, get a firework, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.

The Scouser said to the doctor, 'I may not be the smartest guy in the world, but I don't see how putting a firework in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me.' 'Trust me, it will do the job', said the doctor.

So the man went home, lit a banger and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count: '1, 2, 3, 4, 5,' at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs so he could continue counting on his other hand.

This procedure also works in Luton, Stroud, parts of Cornwall, and anywhere in Wales.

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