Monkeywatch - November 2024

[monkeyman]

Greetings Monkeywatchers, core coon crap for popping in, and welcome to another dive into the murky waters of Pattaya, metaphorically speaking. And literally speaking, come to think of it.

Pattaya has been hit by flash floods yet again and it’s reported that traffic officers have been assigned to deal with the situation. Presumably when there’s gridlock on the roads the weathermen will be sent in.

Police are investigating after a Pattaya mother reported that a gang of youths had assaulted her son with fireworks. It seems that the gang didn’t have a bottle to fire their rockets from so they bent her son over, pulled his trousers down and fired them out of his bum. His mother said that he shouldn’t have to stand for this sort of thing, though he’s unlikely to be sitting down for anything for some time to come.

The mayor was recently spotted on Pratumnak Hill inspecting the renovation work on the famous PATTAYA CITY sign. He was believed to be pressuring workers to have the sign ready for the International Fireworks Festival, though he may have pushed them too hard, as visitors to AA PACY TITTY will no doubt testify.

Probably the best way to get up Soi 3 in the weather Pattaya’s been getting lately…

 

Well, Diwali in Pattaya passed off peacefully. At least it did until the final night when there was a mass punch-up involving groups of Indian men who were attending the event. Local authorities say they won’t tolerate this kind of stinking piggery and have vowed to identify and prosecute the offenders, after which they’ll be packed onto small boats and pointed in the direction of the south coast of England. Same old, same old. 

A 17 year old Thai girl had her phone rescued by the Pattaya Land Disaster Prevention Unit after she dropped it down a drain. Overkill or what? No doubt if you drop your wallet down the bog they’ll call out the National Anti-Terrorist Unit.

The new mobile air quality monitoring station on Pattaya Beach has reported that the air quality in Pattaya is “good”. Let’s hope they get it mended soon.

Nothing like being kept well informed…

 

Bar news now, and we’ve got a shitload of new go go bars on the way. First up is the reopening of Champagne, though as it seems to be in a new location and under new management it’s not really reopening at all, it’s just opening. We also have Ka Boom A Go Go in Tree Town and Milk on Soi Diamond has reopened as Milk A Go Go. The old Moon Club is reopening as PH 3.9 A Go Go, which may be connected to the old Honey A Go Go as it’s interesting to note that honey has a value of 3.9 on the pH scale. Actually that’s a lie. It isn’t interesting at all. Oh, and the Rockhouse is up for sale. Never thought we’d see the day.  

Residents in the Thepprasit Road area have been getting all upset about huge new swathes of vegetation that have been planted in the central reservation. Its aim of reducing accidents has certainly been effective as nobody can actually cross the road any more. The current joke is “Why did the chicken cross the road?” “It didn’t, because it was on Thepprasit Road.” Never did get the hang of Thai humour.

Time to take another stagger down Memory Lane as we look back at Monkeywatch in November 2014…

“New Martial Law tourism directives have been issued to maintain peace and order in the Land of Smirks. To ensure good behaviour, all tourists visiting Go Go Bars must now be accompanied by a monk. Initial reaction to the ruling has been somewhat negative from bar owners and tourists, but rather more positive from monks.

Suspicions that gambling dens have been operating under the noses of the boys in brown were confirmed last week when a poker school was discovered in a police officer’s moustache.” 

Can you see it too? Thank God for that…

 

A Thai man has been arrested on Pattaya Beach after performing “an inappropriate act” in front of tourists. Just when we thought we’d seen the last of the Gary Glitter tributes.

Pattaya is to improve a public area after complaints about dangerous wildlife. A ban on tour buses should do the trick.

Finally, Pattaya police arrested a man who went completely off his head the other day and went on a rampage in an incident which was apparently triggered by a bowl of rice. Anybody know where we can get some?

be seeing you

monkeyman

[LordFlash]

Can't believe Alex is selling Rockhouse after all these years!

I remember when he opened in LK Metro and predicted that it would become a huge entertainment area.

I smiled with indulgence thinking I'm not so sure. But he proved me and many others wrong.

But maybe now he can get the best price for it.

[Bruce Mangosteen]

2 hours ago, LordFlash said:

Can't believe Alex is selling Rockhouse after all these years!

Almost unthinkable innit?  Personally I think he'll hang in there instead, maybe take on a manager or even a partner, and make some changes.  I haven't seen him in nearly a year, so my opinion might change after some time spent in his company.

[Bazle]

2 hours ago, Bruce Mangosteen said:

Almost unthinkable innit?  Personally I think he'll hang in there instead, maybe take on a manager or even a partner, and make some changes. 

If he is realistic about the price (yes, a big IF! ) I think the adjacent ladyboy gogo will take it over. 

[Bruce Mangosteen]

34 minutes ago, Bazle said:

If he is realistic about the price (yes, a big IF! ) I think the adjacent ladyboy gogo will take it over. 

IIRC, the rule of thumb is 1 year of turnover or 3 years of profit, Alex would know this.