nidnoyham

As an old butcher I worked with would say- " If he's normal. I don't wanna be !"

Oh dear, another big American company getting involved in English football. Shhhhh- don't tell Vic, he may reach for the sleeping pills. Or watch 8 hours of baseball. Same result !

I think the Registration plate says it all !

Anything you use, has to cover the aroma of your blood, or make it smell unattractive- Vit B. Some things like Aftershave, do the opposite and attract them. In Scotland the Midges are deadly. We tried a spray developed by the Forestry Commission, but at sunset in the Highlands, you had to be indoors. In the Rockies, we used a spray call Shoo or Off on the kids. That seemed to work quite well. I think the Western diet, with less chilies in, does attract them more to our blood. I hate the insect that has a long snout and locks onto you at right angles. It is like a mini flying Seahorse.

Si tells me, that one reason the mossies are getting more of a problem, is the new method of growing three or four crops of rice, as opposed to one a year. This means the fields are flooded more often, giving the little buggers a breeding season 24/7. She loves sitting out in our garden in the evening here, with nothing stinging or biting her- that includes me ! I have used cheap Thai whiskey, dabbed on wrists, ankles, elbows and neck to be quite effective at keeping them away. Perhaps they get pissed and pick a fight with a toad !

Are they throwing in a free box of tissues for you Plane spotters ?

Hang on. You are trying to tell me, that the Welsh had a handle on the worlds literacy rate in the 18th century ? Yeah right ! Where do you get all this bollocks from ? Don't tell me- Cennn 3 ! I don't care what you come up with. The fact still remains, that the lads that were too thick to learn a trade in London, were sent to be farm labourers in Wales. I even tried to big it up, by calling them Agricultural workers.

Didn't they have schools in Cardiff ? Perhaps he came to learn English ?

The young Offenders unit in my town was originally built as an Industrial School for Boys. In the 19thC, boys were taken off the streets of London when caught committing crimes or orphaned. They were taken to the school and taught a trade. Those not clever enough to learn, were sent to Wales to work in agriculture.

Thanks for stepping forward Brian. not everyone can be an Old Fogey and get away with it.

As far as I'm concerned, the people I mentioned still are.

Your Motorhome can get wind damage and BG's have to avoid Germans !

Just to test out the consistency of procedure at immigration. Someone should bring a B.G to Liverpool to learn Scouse ! It's more widely spoken that Welsh, so that could swing it in her favour.

Oh no the big R has raised it's head. What happened to the days when, the Welsh were Taffy, Scots Jock,the English soft southern bastards......... I am sure people got less upset about things before someone invented Racism. In countries like Sweden, it is compulsory for kids to learn two foreign languages at school. They are sensible enough to realize, how restricting speaking just their own language can be, in the rest of the world. Welsh ? Like Latin, old, but seldom used. There is a Welsh connection in S.America. Why come all the way here ?

2500 baht to have your opinions listened to ? That is money well spent mate. Don't over play it though, it could lead to 3 days of silence. At times, that is a not a bad thing though.

You haven't lived until you have fished off the steps of a Thai house during a flood.

You didn't get that front lawn cheap from Wembley stadium did you ? I like a few stairs too. Even Si's " Thai house" in my garden here at home, is up off the ground.

I hope his arse was iced up !

No !. I'd still have my money in the bank.

Exactly. Now your talking ! No doubt some old Fogey will put an obsticle in the way.

Had he been doing the backstroke, Mr swan would have got more than he bargained for. Herb is not one to shy away from a punch up. That swan would have to be counting his toes, when he got back to his nest.

One of Air Canada managements worse decisions- and they made a few, was to swap Flight Attendants on the LHR-SIN-LHR route with Singapore Airlines. No one in Aircraft Services at LHR could believe it. Swapping the oldest Canadian FA's with some of the most beautiful women in the airline industry ? Are you crazy ? Imagine a regular SQ passenger flying at Christmas. He would probably think the crew were putting on a Panto'. It must be Cinderella and one of the ugly sisters is pushing the drinks trolley along his aisle. On the AC flight, male passengers used to old biddies handing out food and drink with an expression of complete boredom, would see this image of Oriental beauty in a sari, smiling and radiating friendliness. If I was on arrivals when a AC flight from SIN came in, I and the blokes working for me would dread the crew bus coming to the drop off area to collect their boxes of Orchids. It was like a bus full of finalists for the sternest Headmistress of the year competition. Hardened Baggage handlers would quiver with fear. I used to keep a few dog biscuits in my pocket in case a fight broke out. AC pilots wives must rest easy at night knowing their husbands will not be tempted by the charms of an AC 'cookie pusher' While sitting in the jump seat of a LHR bound 747 in Toronto, the conversation in the cockpit during taxiing, was how ugly the MD11 in front of us was. What was my favourite English beer ? And the time of the ' Happy hour' at the Crew hotel in London. I don't recall any reference to a liason with any hot female cabin crew. Our crew and SQ's ! Twenty years on and it still makes me shudder.

Did I mention he loves to swim ? The only problem is, when he jumps in to play 'catch me if you can' with his mate the Heron, the swans attack him. The last time, one of them stomped on him while he was swimming back to the shore. Luckily I am a dead shot with a pebble and made them swim away. The ducks like him and follow him across the water, but are no match for the swans.

You mean a path ? That's all there is if you walk along the Grand Union. Walk along the towpath from Islington High Street and you will pass several occupied narrow boats. No car parking, no water or electric hook-ups, no cable TV...... They do have a decent real ale pub- The Wenlock Arms. I met an old sort in there who worked for the Queen. Fair sort for her age. Had a weird Gaelic name. Blimey ! I am wandering again, it must be the sailor in me- yak- yak.

Oh well, if you want live like it's Miami and can't get around a few minor details, I can't help you. There are hundreds of residential canal boats, in the U.K. including on London canals. How do they manage it ?