N3RGT

Agree with your sentiments J.K and I do such things very much tongue in cheek; however bearing in mind the universal nature of this forum, would genuinely not wish to offend anyone, anyway. Here in the U.K as in other countries we have a large proportion of ethnic so called "minorities"whom we the white/anglo saxon"majority" always have to be so careful not to offend. In the meantime they are constantly attempting to foist their laws, habits, dresscodes and religion upon us with little or no regard for those existing within the country, in which THEY have chosen to reside. Think I'd better stop this rant right away as it sounds rather National Frontish/BNP Will post more as/when...thanks N3RGT

Now if you're 102 you might have to slow down a bit but you can still probably find some takers. Yeah but very little peer pressure

Number 1 A Zebra dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates. As he enters, he asks St. Peter, 'I have a question that's haunted me all of my days on earth. Am I white with black stripes, or am I black with white stripes?' St. Peter said, 'That's a question only God can answer.' So the zebra went off in search of God. When he found Him, the zebra asked, 'God, please - I must know. Am I white with black stripes, or am I black with white stripes?' God simply replied 'You are what you are.' The zebra returned to see St Peter once more, who asked him, 'Well, did God straighten out your query for you?' The zebra looked puzzled. 'No sir, God simply said 'You are what you are.'' St. Peter smiled and said to the zebra, 'Well then, there you are. You are white with black stripes.' The zebra asked St. Peter, 'How do you know that for certain?' 'Because,' said St. Peter, 'If you were black with white stripes, God would have said, 'You is what you is.' WARNING . . . . If you laugh at this, Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, Rev Wright and Obama will be comin right over to kick your white honky ass !!!! Number 2 This is neither polite nor is it PC........... but it made me laugh ! Mohammad the Afghan came to Manchester from the Middle East, and he Was only here a few months when he became very ill. He went to doctor after doctor, but none of them could help him. Finally, he went to an Afghan doctor who said, 'Take dees bocket, go into de odder room, shit in de bocket, Piss on de shit, and den put your head down over de bocket And breathe in de fumes for ten minutes.' Mohammad took the bucket, went into the other room, shit in the Bucket, pissed on the shit, bent over and breathed in the fumes for Ten minutes. Coming back to the doctor he said, 'It worked. I feel terrific! What Was wrong with me?' The doctor said, 'You were homesick .' --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm on a bit of a promise to buy a Digital "Point 'n' Shoot" type Camera for a young lady during my next visit in Jan/Feb 2009.I'm anticipating something,for example, such as a Nikon Coolpix S210 which is an 8 Meg camera,3X zoom and has just about every facilty going for the layman.A very neat little package ! Cameras such as this are retailing at around £100-£120 in the UK at the moment but I wondered if any of you ex-pats could tell me if I would be likely to get a better deal in Thailand, where Madam would be able to choose the particular one she liked. Any help here would be appreciated. Sorry this is a very generalised question, and I know that if it were Singapore I was to visit then I would most likely wait until I was in that country, but Thailand well I dunno !

The Harley-Davidson Facts The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson , died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur. 'Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want to in heaven.' Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, ' I want to hang out with God.' St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God. God recognized Arthur and commented, 'Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley-Davidson motorcycle? ' Arthur said, 'Yeah, that's me...' God commented: 'Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution and can't run without a road?' Arthur was a bit embarrassed, but finally spoke, 'Excuse me, but aren't you the inventor of woman?' God said, 'Ah, yes.' 'Well,' said Arthur, 'professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention ! 1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end suspension 2. It chatters constantly at high speeds 3. Most rear ends are too soft and wobble about too much 4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust 5. The maintenance costs are outrageous!!!! 'Hmmmmm, you may have some good points there,' replied God, 'hold on.' God went to his Celestial supercomputer, typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it. 'Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed,' God said to Arthur, 'but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours'. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Just browsing around on this thread and checked EVA air flights on EBookers.My flight departing 21st Jan 2009 return 18th Feb (BR68/67) now showing as an unbelievable £500.14p total cost inc taxes and fees ! £500.14* Total cost Select* includes taxes and fees Leave 21:30 >> 15:35 11hr 5min EVA Air 68 Wed, 21 Jan LHR >> BKK Total time: non-stop This is an overnight flight. Return 13:20 >> 19:10 12hr 50min EVA Air Info copied and pasted from web page.

S'funny.Just checked my dates mid week/mid Jan out/mid Feb/mid week return and still showing at £532 on Airline network with the Eva air BR68/67.So there are still cheap flights to be had even at this stage of the downturn in the economy and oil price hikes.

A few days ago I was having some work done at my local garage. A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten. We all looked at each other and another customer asked, 'What is a seven-hundred-ten?' She replied, 'You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one..' She replied that she did not know exactly what it was, but this piece had always been there. The mechanic gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710. He then took her over to another car which had its hood up and asked 'is there a 710 on this car?' She pointed and said, 'Of course, its right there.' If you're not sure what a 710 is click link http://www.hotautoweb.com:80/cogifs/710.jpg

Could that be Richard Hearne ? I remember seeing you in your bowler hat on UK TV in the early 1960's http://www.whirligig-tv.co.uk/tv/children/other/mrpastry.htm Sadly no longer with us !

Hi Salty.I think it's Mr Toom you want.Follow this link http://thailandlandofsmiles.com/2007/09/28...s-taxi-service/ N3RGT

Thanks RR but I believe it essential to get flights established before booking hotel dates.In my case I prefer to stay at Residence Garden which is usually well booked up months in advance.So it's case of playing one off against the other.So if I have to pay a few quid more to get flights/hotel established well in advance I guess that's the price I have to pay.Theres no problem getting a non direct flight for around £450 with Emirates,or any of the middle eastern airlines at the times we are talking about but I much prefer the direct route and pay the price.Thanks for your input

£481.90.....That is a bloody good price BB.Best direct return flights I can find with EVA AIR for Jan/Feb 2009 is £614 on Airline Newtork or £616 with EBookers .Trying the same dates on the EVA AIR web site the price shown is £684.

A man called home to his wife and said, " Honey I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss & several of his Friends We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that Promotion I've been wanting, so could you please pack enough Clothes for a week and set out my rod and fishing box, we're Leaving From the office & I will swing by the house to pick my things up" " Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pajamas. " The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy but being the good wife she is, did exactly what her husband asked. The following Weekend he came home a little tired but otherwise looking good. The wife welcomed him home and asked if he caught many fish? He said, "Yes! Lots of Salmon, some Bluegill, and a few Swordfish. But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to Do?" You'll love the answer.... The wife replied, "I did. They're in your fishing box ..." Never Lie To A Woman...!!!

Something to offend everyone! All VERY non-PC A history teacher asks a class full of kids "What was Churchill famous for?" A kid at the back shouts out "He was the last f**king white man to be called Winston!" ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Did you hear about the look-a-like competition in China? Everybody won. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- What's the ideal weight for a mother-in-law? About 2.3 pounds including the urn. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- I Was so depressed last night that I rang the Samaritans. Got through to a call centre in Pakistan Told them I was suicidal, they got all excited and asked if I could fly a plane...... ---------------------------------------------------------------------- A black man takes a girl home from a nightclub. She says "Show me it's true what they say about black men"... So he stabbed her and nicked her purse. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted to me... "Oi, what's your disability?" I said "Tourettes! Now f**k off!" ---------------------------------------------------------------------- A man is in a queue at Tesco and sees this busty blonde staring at him, he can't believe she is staring at him, then she starts waving. "Excuse me do I know you?" he asks. "Yes I think you are the father of one of my kids" she says. The man thinks back and remembers his one act of infidelity and says "F**king hell are you the bird I shagged on me stag do, whilst your mate whipped me and your other mate stuck a brush up my arse?" "No" she replies "I'm your son's English teacher!" ---------------------------------------------------------------------- I said to the wife, "I thought I saw your name on a loaf of bread today, but when I looked again it said 'Thick Cut' " ---------------------------------------------------------------------- What's the difference between Harold Shipman and Tony Blair? Shipman actually did something about NHS waiting lists. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- A bride on her wedding night says to her husband "I must confess darling, I was a hooker!". He says "That's alright, dear. Your past is your past, but I must admit that I find it quite erotic. Tell me about it". She replies "Well, my name was Nigel, and I played for Wigan! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Father Duffy walks into the convent and sees Sister Rose washing the kitchen floor. He's overcome with desire and pushes her onto the ground. As he's shagging her the Rev Mother comes in. "SISTER ROSE!!!" she roars "Have some respect. Arch your back girl and keep Father Duffy's balls off the wet floor!!" ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Tampax are changing their design they are replacing the string with a piece of tinsel .... This is for the Xmas period only! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- A man says to his wife "tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time". His wife replies "You've got a bigger todger than your brother"

Just click on the live link when it's showing at the top of the page and follow it through where you'll come to an enquiry/any questions form which will go direct to the R.G.

I'm leaving for the airport(LHR)in an hour and a half

Wednesday 23rd January.Delays withstanding in town on Thursday 24th

Thank goodness this is now all sorted out and "Yes" Pattaya_mad we can both look forward to our LOS trips now Deal ends threat of airport strikes 03/01/2008 20:40 The threat of strikes at seven airports, including Heathrow and Gatwick, ended when union officials accepted a peace deal aimed at resolving a row over pensions. A walkout by thousands of firefighters, security and clerical workers next Monday had already been cancelled but further stoppages remained on the cards for January 14 and January 17/18.

Agreed ! "The Brits 'Vs' The Yanks, Your gonna get your fuckin' head kicked in!" Kolobos ! Do you really have to descend to the depths of "British Football Hooligan" mentality on this board ?

Looks like it's the same girl in pic 1,2,6 and 7.Nevertheless shes a ten for me and will definitely be visiting this establishment in the near future on next trip, but doubt she will be still there !I notice someone was asking re prices ST/LT and barfine.Does anyone know please ? P.S have just found the website http://www.champagne-a-gogo.com/

I have nothing but admiration for this young lady who is just so enterprising.I remember seeing some pictures of her doing bungee jumps on a previous post on this board(I think) but can't find them at the mo. She's got guts galore. Is there nothing this girl cannot do cos' I hear that she's pretty damn good in the bedroom athletics department too ? She seems to be Pattaya's very own "all action girl" Good for you Mod atta girl!!!.........Hopefully I'll get to meet her next trip Jan/Feb 2008.

This thread reminds me of a real piece of Gobbledygook a friend of mine often comes out with. Goes something like this to whomever the bewildered target is ...... "Whats the matter for you,can't you want to ? You think you're body every self just because you used to was" Yes pretty darn stupid I know but when you read it properly it's saying quite a lot in a pretty fucked up fashion..........it's almost like some of that stuff that Professor Stanley Unwin used to come out with.

Yeah ...like walking into almost any hostelry in Pattaya and just knowing that the majority of the ladies present are readily available for a "no nonsense" shag .That's what I call one of life's little luxuries and why we all love Pattaya.

Thanks T_F_C will give it a try when I'm next in town as I like a bit of French...In the meantime here's a link to the web site http://www.lanotte-pattaya.com/

Try this site young hansum man..... it's usually pretty good ! http://www.airline-network.co.uk/index.asp