nohlsson1

Thinking outside the box again!

Any one want to have a BBQ? I need someone to go and recover the beef from this little guy!

Your mates are lucky to have some one like you for a friend.

Damn it now Di, I just had the tailors adjust the crotch in my pants. Now they appear to be fitting kind of tight again. I wish you were around in November. I bet you would be a blast to party with. Maybe some day. Get better soon.

Di, you did it again. Let me thank you once again for doing so. You are one attractive woman.

Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday morning? A: Tell her a joke on Friday night. Two blondes were standing on opposite sides of a river. One calls over, "How do you get to the other side?" The other responds, "You ARE on the other side!" Two gorgeous blonde biologists were in the field one fine summer day. While following a game trail, they came across a pair of tracks. "Look! a pair of tracks" The first blonde said while pointing to the ground. "Those are deer tracks," the other blonde replied. "Oh no,"she said to the first, "Those are definitely moose tracks." With this, they began to argue. In fact, they were still arguing when the train hit them!

OK, here is another joke to get us back on track. A blonde stormed up to the front desk of the library and said, "I have a complaint!" "Yes, Ma'am?" said the librarian looking up at her. "I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!" Puzzled by her complain the librarian asked "What was wrong with it?" "It had way too many characters and there was no plot whatsoever!" said the blonde. The librarian nodded and said, "Ahhh. So you must be the person who took our phone book." Di, feel free to hijack this any time though.

Thanks again Di. You have been elevated to SMOKIN'! It appears that blondes really do have more fun. I have to run to the tailors, my pants seem to be a quite tight right now!

Di, I believe you have hijacked this thread! But please feel free to do so any time. You could use force, if you feel it is needed. Thanks for sharing those pics. You are a lovely woman.

Thank you for your informative report. It is much appreciated.

You just made so many people on this board happy!

I will second Sailfast's idea. Buckets of beer might be another route to go. This is how I get my bottled beer in bars back home.

I love music more than most people. I can listen to just about anything and learn to appreciate it. But I have to agree with Big D. There is a differance between playing music and blaring it to the point my drink vibrates to the beat. I have left bars and I have watched others leave because of this. Then there are the bars that battle between each other to see who can play the loudest. Another big turn off for me. Typically the loudest bar is also the most empty bar.

I would prefer 5 minutes after I get my drink. That should allow enough time to look around.

Alan, I commend you in your thinking. I agree with the others. The colder the beer the better. Thanks for thinking of the customers and I am sure it will pay off.

As always a very entertaining and informative report. Thanks monkeyman!

Great info, thanks for the update.

Another great post monkeyman.

Great post as usual Monkeyman. Keep them coming.

Two Mexicans are riding along Pacific Coast Highway on a motorbike. They Break down and start hitching a lift. A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the Mexicans ask him for a lift. He tells them he has no room in the trailer as he is carrying 20,000 bowling balls. The Mexicans put it to the driver that if they can manage to fit in the back with their bike. Will he take them and he agrees. They manage to squeeze themselves and their motorbike into the back of the trailer so the driver shuts the doors and gets off on his way. By this time he is really late and so puts his foot down. Sure enough the Highway Patrol pulls him over for speeding. The good officer asks the driver what he is carrying to which he replies jokingly-- "Mexican eggs". The policeman obviously doesn't believe this so wants to take a look. He opens the back door and quickly shuts it and locks it. He gets on his radio and calls for immediate backup from as many officers as possible. The dispatcher asks what emergency he has that requires so many officers. "I've got a trailer with 20,000 Mexican eggs in it - 2 have hatched and the Bastards have managed to steal a motorbike already".

Last night, my wife and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependant on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug". She got up, unplugged the TV and threw out my beer. She's such a Bitch.........

A blonde named Mary decides to do something really wild. Something she hasn't done before, so she goes out to rent her first X-rated adult video.She goes to the video store, and after looking around for a while, selects a title that sounds very stimulating. She drives home, lights some candles, slips into something comfortable, and puts the tape in the VCR.To her disappointment, there's nothing but static on the screen, so she calls the video store to complain.Mary: "I just rented an adult movie from you and there's nothing on the tape but static."Clerk: "Sorry about that. We've had problems with some of those tapes. Which title did you rent?"Mary: "Head Cleaner."

President Calderon said that Mexico will not participate in the summer Olympics in 2008. He said that everyone who can jump, swim, or run has already left the country.

Good one Aussiechic.