Dungheap

Do a search mate under the hotel reviews. Your best chance of getting a good rate with the Marriott in Pattaya is to stay a few days, smile, and then say, "if I stay XX longer, how much?" They may ask you if you're interested in buying one of their ridicuous hotel 'time shares' in Phuket. Say yes, get the deal, ignore the spiel, and life is good.

Thanks mate.

Is it just me, or does the search function have about a 10 percent chance of success of late? Throw in map of Jomtien or Jomtien map and search all forums, any date and it comes up with the standard error message. Tried the quick search function at the bottom of the different subject pages and same same. What's the problem? Thanks

don't forget the straw ... And I'll believe that when I see it!

The People's Republic of Bangladesh is proud to sponsor the Dhaka Dongers for the inaugural Texas Scramble: The national team comprises of the Honorable Herculean Hub, Tettley's Toting Taxi and Dastardly Dungas. Sponsorship consists of a free sarong, a tee and a special used Bundy glass. Steveo, you with us?

Dodgie, I (we'll?) play the following: 4, 7th and 9th. Disappointed I'll miss the foreskins event but there will be another time. I'll speak to you on the 1st about the 2nd, we could be pool-side or off to Ko Larn but I am tempted to correct a few wrongs from last time and retrieve my hard-earned at the earliest possible chance. Just one thing of the utmost importance, have you confirmed that the kiosks will be open at Buraphra so we can get a cold beer on the course as last year it was like the Sahara if you' recall... None of this "room-temperature" crap for the Bangladeshi Bandits please.

Be good to see Hans again this year Dodgie, he should have a VIP invite. Wouldn't be surpised if he's around the ol' haunts. Playing with no fingers and still cracking the fairway is no mean achievement.

Thanks Callum, a copy of the Bible should be provided to all participants on the day, and their hotel 'maidens' in advance. Reminder for Hans and partner: the team will be required to select a minimum of 3 drives for each partner on the 9 holes. And the player whose ball is chosen has to hit first

Oooh shake it Tina!!! Great vid, enjoyed the write up, too. Hope to meet you this trip Dave.

Thanks chaps, subtleties lost perhaps. Excuse my dated pics. So where's the trophy?

After last year's trophy terrorism scare with that schmuck Sam Bin Ramen Lobin and The Sheep, feared mercenaries from the jungles of El Sanukville, were called in to track the trophy. Long Dong Lobin soon picked up the scent but his efforts to track the terrorists came up short. In one final desperate measure to lure Sam and his slappers out of their safe haven, The Sheep was blown to life and infiltrated behind enemy lines. Acting as a decoy, Sheep's selfless sacrifices drew attention away from Lobin as our sweet-talking agent probed deeper for the little fella and his lady. In the end, like all the bad movies, good preveailed over evil. But this year, fed up with the antics of the trophy terrorists, an executive meeting was recently held at a secret location in the bowels of Bangkok, and aided by a six-figure grant from the Bank of Bargirls, one second-hand mobile phone, two beefy buffaloes, and a horny elephant the committee voted unanimously to take the extraodinary step of contracting the elite Pattaya Panty Police (PPP) to protect the trophy this year. The PPP haven taken an oath to protect the prized silverware to the death if necessary and like all men in uniform worldwide, can never be bribed with wenches, or weggies. Honorary members include Detective Dodgie and Inspector Daz, or the Dynamic Daggie Duo. If you feel you have the skills, training and discipline to become a PPP please post your credentials (with photo) and sign up to serve the city we all love. The trophy is in no safer set of hands, with the possible exception of Sir Shane Warne. Oh yeah, 30 days to lift off!

Samsonite, we were there in March and the construction next door was bloody loud. Has it finished guys? They had 6 guys building a 12 story building brick by brick so suspect it won't be complete until 2023 but TIT... I think you only have to pay a joiner fee if you DON'T bring a bird to loom.

Reminds me of classic caddy moment over here. We were playing about 2 hours away from Tokyo in a place called Gumma (famous for the ugliest women in Japan!) and we had the worst caddy -- big fat cow with a nose like a cane toad, abusive and took delight in sending us up the wrong fairway to the next green. After the ninth we'd had enough and asked for a trade-in. Starter said there were no others left but if we could "pilot" the remote controll cart we could go it alone. "No worries mate" and off we go. We appointed our equivalent of "Village" as pilot and all seems well as we stride up the 10th. Get to the green, chip, putt, and putt a bit more before holing out and walking to the next tee. "Were's the cart Village?" "Aghhh..." "Did you stop it?" "Er..." "Shit!" We eventually tracked the fucking thing down 100 yards away the green on the Par-4 13th. Two shot penalty on Village and drop your daks for your next shot please.

Sorry to hear about your middle leg operation Saigon. But their is life after the cut, look at Dodgy who has just left on his 23rd trip of the year. Hope to see you next year.

Interesting thread. I know nothing about US tax or pension schemes but am always somewhat baffled by people in your situation who are sick of work, want to live in LOS and feel retirment is the only answer. Ever considered semi-retiring or tele-commuting? American mate of mine from SF who's a big analyst with a major firm in the US relocated to Hawaii and works from home. Even has the Lei for the video conferences. Took a 20 percent pay cut and is in heaven. Then there's other guys I know who do all sorts of Internet-related work -- web design, systems, on-line auction sites, translating, rewriting, etc, etc. You would have to be discreet about this sort of work depending on your visa. If you think your nest egg ain't big enough, protect it, but enjoy yourself, too. You do have options. If you're not happy and have no ties, make a change.

Dear curry connoissuers, how's an English (Indian) curry differ to a real Indian curry? Don't get me wrong, I've had some superb curries in the Ol' Dart but no better than some of the authentic curry houses in Malaysia or even Tokyo, where many are run by Pakistanis, Bangladeshis, etc.

Congratulations England. You simply played better throughout the series. Easy to say we batted crap but you're only as good as your opponents let you be, and your bowlers did a great job. Without Warnie who knows what the score would have been but our dependence on him and McGrath highlighted our lack of depth. Lee's stats look alright but he was expensive and occasionally the pendulum that swung momentum in England’s favor. So often Australia were looking on top and Lee would start drifting down the leg side and was hammered all over the park. Last night was a prime example. England teetering at 5/130 odd and Lee gets into a legside duel giving up 20-odd an over with one fielder on the fence. Not smart. Tait's a work in process and Gillespie suffered a Chernobyl-like confidence meltdown. Silly fucking runouts didn't help the cause much either but if there was one thing that led to our downfall I'd say it would have to be Ponting's indecisiveness as captain and hopefully it will cost him his job. Up until recently he only had to hit the automatic pilot button but in this series he actually had to think and use his imagination and was left scratching his head. Sending England in at Edgbaston after losing McGrath was pure arrogance. Why wouldn't you give Shane Warne a bowl before lunch in the early tests when the batsmen are swatting Lee and Co. around the ground? Calling light in a test we had to win when he knew rain was on the way was a crime. Defensive field settings throughout the series. Etc, etc, etc. Hopefully the axe will fall and we'll go with youth but don’t count on it. That old adage about it's harder to get out of the Australian team than in it will probably still ring true. It will take us a few years to rebuild but we'll be back. Good to see that cricket is alive in the Motherland as for year's most Poms wrote it off as a rich man's game that had no fan base. One last request. Now that you've won the coveted Ashes, do you reckon you can do a whip around and buy some fucking lights for the grounds? Savor the victory. You deserve it.

Saigon Butterfly has left the building... My short-game savior last year has deserted us. Fly, fly, our butterfly.

Another European off 11? Welcome aboard mate. Dodgie, any idea who the Bagladeshi Bandits are playing for this year? I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

When I say all cash I'm only talking US$3-500. I tend to arrive late at night so banks are generally shut and I don't want to hit the streets of Pattas at midnight looking to change money. Carry whatever you're comfortable with, lock the rest away in the hotel safe. PS, as you can see from this thread, everyone has their own way of sorting out their money.

Bring a few hundred pounds and a credit card. Change all cash at the airport and split it -- a few thousand baht in your front right pocket, a few thousand in back left, the rest in your bag/s. Leave your wallet, passport, house keys, work security ID and all other important stuff you don't need on the streets of Thailand in your hotel room safe. When you run out of cash, hit one of the many ATMs with your credit card for an advance. Best to do this in the day time and return credit card to safe. Enjoy.

Dear Patience, please note Dodgie said "A" B-52, he doesn't do to well after about the second one...

Yo Patient, take your medicine before you start taking cheap pot shots at Dodgie. Steveo and Doggie are old mates, relax. Many of the guys here live in Pattaya and should be able to show you around.

Looks like he's getting in a few practice holes the cheeky bugger.