VPI78

A woman dies and goes to heaven. She arrives at the pearly gates and is greeted by Saint Peter. There are a few people waiting, so she strikes up a conversation with him. Just then, she hears a blood curdling scream! "What was that?" she asks." Oh, don't worry about that," says Saint Peter, "It's just someone getting a hole drilled in their head so they can be fitted for their halo. A few seconds later, she hears another agonized scream, this one even more terrible than the one before. "What was that?!" she asked anxiously. "Oh, don't worry;" says Saint Peter soothingly, "It's just s

A man returns home a day early from a business trip. It's after midnight. While e route home, he asks the cabby if he would be a witness as he suspects his wife is having an affair, and he wants to catch her in the act. For $100; the cabby agrees. Quietly arriving home, the husband and cabby tip toe into the bedroom. The husband switches on the lights, yanks the blanket back and there is his wife in bed with another man! The husband puts a gun to the naked man's head. The wife shouts, 'Don't do it! I lied when I told you I inherited money. - HE paid for the Porsche I gave you. -

It's almost a sure bet in the US these days when a 'miracle' anti-viral hits the market. Lately the ambulance chasers have been trolling for 'Truvada' last year's miracle HIV drug. Let's hope the china virus vaccines don't follow the script.

While in china, a man is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom the time he is there. A week after arriving back home in california, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results. The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says, "I've got bad news for you, you've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here, we know very little abo

A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her six year-old son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son saying, "All of you fuckers who want off, get the hell off now, 'cause this is the last stop! And all of you shitheads who are getting on, get your ass in the train, cause we're going down the tracks." The horrified mother went in and lectured her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and stay there for four hours. When you come out, you can play with your train, but I want yo

Brrrrisk this morning in Texas; in the 30s (F) with a breeze ... a bit chilly ... some might say there's a little nip in the air.

Do you know the difference between Ironman and Iron woman? One is a super hero and the other an instruction.

A young sprog is at home when his Dad calls. ... so he picks up. "Hello?" "Hi son. This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?" "No Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Joe." A brief pause. "But son, you haven't got an Uncle Joe." "Mommy says I do! He's with Mommy in the room, right now." Another brief pause. "Uh, alright, here's what Daddy wants you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door, and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway." "Okay Daddy, just a minute." A few minutes later, the sprog com