divorce

[captcraig2 120]

Oh, sure, lie to the court. Why didn't the OP think of that?!? That's a good recommendation.

 

She has a green card and a visa. She'd have to be stupid and not have a single brain cell and not have a single friend in America to stand still for that. And if she doesn't stand still for it, the OP goes to jail for perjury.

 

Somehow, I don't think this really qualifies as excellent advice.

 

 

In case you don't know....That's how the American court system works! To the OP....Cover your ass....who gives a fuck what do goods think you should do!

[Gary 4,119]

Thailand is pretty much a man's country. If you decide to split up you can get a divorce or just walk away. It's not likely she would be able to get anything from you if you just walk. After a while you will probably want a divorce because you will probably get stupid again. When you decide you want a divorce, you and the lady go to the Amphur where you got married and file the appropriate documents. About 45 minutes later you are divorced. To do that, you both must agree on the terms. She knows that you will be giving her a little goodbye cash so she will agree. No divorce, no cash. Keep in mind that any property you bought while married is already hers.

 

In the US it is an entirely different story. State laws vary a lot and after she is in the US for a short while, her western sisters will have shown her the ropes. Some guys forget that although she may be Thai, she is still a woman. They learn quickly. The feminazis and courts will make sure that you get the short end of the stick. A Thai divorce is recognized in the US even if you were married in the US. All you have to do is to have the divorce document legally translated into English and then recorded at the US Embassy.

 

After she has been in the US for a while, it's NOT likely that she will agree to a divorce in Thailand without a VERY substantial payoff.

[joekicker 53]

snip snip....

When you decide you want a divorce, you and the lady go to the Amphur where you got married and file the appropriate documents. About 45 minutes later you are divorced. To do that, you both must agree on the terms.

 

The last sentence is the main point in this thread. So far the lady has agreed to zilch, and the OP seems to be convinced she won't.

 

If she doesn't agree, Thailand is no more pleasant about divorce than anywhere else, but it can take a lot longer. Civil divorce suits are not settled in a hearing next week, not by any means. I do agree the man has the upper hand, but not anything like freedom, not in a court case. Just ask Miss Universe if the Central Department Store owner "just walked away" from her when he got stupid again, heh.

[Gary 4,119]

The last sentence is the main point in this thread. So far the lady has agreed to zilch, and the OP seems to be convinced she won't.

 

If she doesn't agree, Thailand is no more pleasant about divorce than anywhere else, but it can take a lot longer. Civil divorce suits are not settled in a hearing next week, not by any means. I do agree the man has the upper hand, but not anything like freedom, not in a court case. Just ask Miss Universe if the Central Department Store owner "just walked away" from her when he got stupid again, heh.

 

I think you're comparing apples and oranges with this example. As a former Miss Universe she would have been thoroughly westernized and convinced that she was worth much more than her actual worth. I'm talking about girls who have never seen 10,000 or 20,000 baht at one time much less having that much in their hand. It would certainly be worth 20,000 baht to me for a divorce that I wanted. These girls have seen their friends or maybe even their own husbands run off leaving them with nothing except the kids and NO support or money.

[joekicker 53]

I'm talking about girls who have never seen 10,000 or 20,000 baht at one time much less having that much in their hand.

 

Er, no, you're talking about a woman who is in the United States and has been there for a while. Or at least that's the subject of this thread.

 

The only reason I took the Miss Universe example is that it is a well-known example that shows that Thai divorces go on and on and are very aggravating and time-consuming. If this woman in America contests the divorce, the guy is in trouble in several different ways, that's the point. The advice to come back to Bangkok is BAD advice unless she totally agrees to the divorce, in all aspects. THEN it is good advice.

[volsfan 43]

In case you don't know....That's how the American court system works! To the OP....Cover your ass....who gives a fuck what do goods think you should do!

Sorry, but if she has only been married to him for 16 months then she has neither. When she is first admitted to the country, she is given a "conditional" visa. This allows her to stay. However, once they have been married for 24 months, there is a requirement to file to make the visa permanent. If that is not filed, her visa expires and out she goes. Get the divorce before that time, and she is out the door.

[js007 795]

Yes.

 

Well, that is two "ifs", neither of which exists.

 

Joekicker,

 

It's very much obvious that you know nothing about the law. Before you ruin someone's life, why don't you just shut up.

 

J

[joekicker 53]

It's very much obvious that you know nothing about the law. Before you ruin someone's life, why don't you just shut up.

 

You're welcome. We'll see if the original poster has any thank-yous to hand out, shall we?

 

In my opinion, he was stirring anyhow, but we shall see.

[joseph1 6]

Thanks for all the insight...some good...some bad...some stupid. Have compiled the info and will have to see which direction to go. Decision is made...but the heart still hurts..

[ginseng 0]

Thanks for all the insight...some good...some bad...some stupid. Have compiled the info and will have to see which direction to go. Decision is made...but the heart still hurts..

 

 

I'm sorry if you are going through emotional turmoil but divorce can be war so you need to think straight right now.

 

It's not clear to me if you were married in Thailand or in the USA. Things are simpler if you were married in Thailand. I'll tell you my experience divorcing a Thai lady from California, I think I lucked out and some misinformation was given that favored me so I don't know if your case will be the same.

 

Your biggest problem is the fact you signed the I-864 Affidavit of support to get her here. Even divorce does not nullify this document. If you can't agree on divorce terms and she refuses to leave the country you could be on the hook to support her for life in some form and to reimburse the government for any benefits she could obtain, this could range from welfare to student loans for college. However most foreigners would have trouble figuring out the system and actually getting those benefits that you'd have to reimburse. there are 3 ways out of this agreement, again divorce is not one of them.

1. She becomes a US citizen

2. She has 40 quarters of tax paying work which takes ten years of consecutive work.

3. She abandons the visa. This requires her to leave the country and not come back, I'm not sure how much time constitutes not coming back.

 

Like I said if none of those three happen then you're in it for life.

 

She and I agreed on a mutual divorce. We had no shared property or kids. I did have to pay her some money to get her to sign and though I felt she deserved $0, paying was the easier way to go and after meeting with a divorce lawyer he said the amount requested would be much cheaper than going through divorce court. We went to the Thai consulate twice. Once to ask how it was done, and the second time to divorce. The first time we went they told she and I if neither of us were contesting the divorce all we had to do was sign a piece of paper and the divorce certificates would be mailed to both of us in 30 days. The Thai lady at the counter also said my ex wife had to leave the country the day we got divorced as her visa would be invalidated.

 

I don't think that last part about her visa being invalidated was true, but I was damn glad she said it. My ex wife's attitude was that Thai people were smarter than Farangs and anything a Thai person told her was true. So here was a Thai person telling her she had to leave the country, she wasn't going to question it. So we settled our affairs I bought her a one way non stop ticket to Thailand and we returned in about a month and got divorced. The day she got on that plane back to Thailand was the happiest day of my life.

 

The one last problem I have heard about is if your wife claims you abused her. Almost with out fail the US government will opt on the side of caution and grant her a visa based on spousal abuse. I don't know how this works but from what I've been told they don't even investigate it, just grant the visa. So it is in your advantage to both agree on divorce terms. It's highly likely some kind of cash payment will facilitate agreement.

 

By the way I do not plan to marry again.

Edited September 22, 2007 by ginseng

[scorpions 6]

Reach a mutual termination agreement $$$ during the trip to LOS

 

 

Good luck!

[BillWilson 10]

What, NO pre nep???

[fountainhead 1]

You married in the US. Her being Thai has nothing to do with the marriage; a marriage is a marriage, and the rules are the same for all nationalities, depending on the state. Do you believe there are special marriage rules in your state depending on nationality? If so, shouldn't you ask the authorities in your state?

 

You can't divorce her in Thailand because you didn't marry her in Thailand. You have to have a marriage paper to get a divorce -- makes sense, don't you think?

 

jurisdiction for dissolution is far more complex than that. i have no clue about the thai laws, but in the US, a state court needs to have jurisdiction to dissolve the marriage. sometimes it gets complex because based on the couple's living/working locations, multiple courts could have jurisdiction, and typically men will want their divorce in a "no-fault" state, where the community property is only what's been made during the marriage.

 

though the OP's situation sounds like a US court (should have) has jurisdiction, it's entirely possible to get married in the US, move to thailand, and find that your ONLY options for divorce are a thai court.

 

You can marry and divorce her in Thailand (if she agrees) but you'll still be married in the US.

 

very unlikely to be true, given that the US recognizes both marriages & divorces registered @ the thai amphur.

[joekicker 53]

very unlikely to be true, given that the US recognizes both marriages & divorces registered @ the thai amphur.

 

You're not grasping what happened in this hypothetical case.

 

The OP and TB got married in the US.

(Hypothetically) they later got married in Thailand.

They agreed to divorce in Thailand so the THAI MARRIAGE was overturned.

The US marriage remains still on the books.

 

In real terms, the Thai marriage and Thai divorce had no actual effect on their US marriage.

 

Yes, yes, YES there are hundreds of other possibilities, but the above was the one under discussion.

[heymarky 0]

I would like to hear from Americans only who have brought a Thai lady to the US, married her in the US, and then divorced her.

 

I have been married 16 months...I want to know what my responsibility is to the Thai lady if I get a divorce. I know I signed papers that said I was resposible for her for 10 years. I want to go with her to Thailand and then tell her that I want a divorce and I will leave Thailand. I want to get the divorce while she is in Thailand. Has anyone done this...no children involved. I would rather pay one lump payment and be through with it. If anyone (american) has done this...please send me info.

 

Thanks

 

Just leave her in Thailand with a few quid in her pocket. Dont bother with all the divorce crap. Then divorce her for desertion in USA.

[fountainhead 1]

You're not grasping what happened in this hypothetical case.

 

The OP and TB got married in the US.

(Hypothetically) they later got married in Thailand.

They agreed to divorce in Thailand so the THAI MARRIAGE was overturned.

The US marriage remains still on the books.

 

In real terms, the Thai marriage and Thai divorce had no actual effect on their US marriage.

 

Yes, yes, YES there are hundreds of other possibilities, but the above was the one under discussion.

 

and i still think your blanket statement was wrong, as is your example here.

 

the 2nd marriage is irrelevant, of course. it's like renewing vows -- since they were legally married already, both in the US AND in thailand.

 

the divorce might hold, depending on whether US courts respect whether the thai court granted it with proper jurisdiction. if the thai court actually does have jurisdiction, US courts will recognize it, regardless of whether they were married in US or (and) thailand. in the OP's case, obviously the thai court shouldn't have jurisdiction (that belongs to some state court in the US), but who knows, maybe US courts will still respect the sovereignty of the thai court that would grant them a divorce...?

 

my advice to the OP (assuming the whole topic isn't a wind-up) is to see a lawyer. while i'm not one, i recognize that much of what's been said here is completely wrong (not just joekicker's posts). just going through a divorce and reading a few nolo press "how to" books makes that obvious. i also realize that i'm not familiar with how laws between countries work, and might have missed even more mistakes.

[fountainhead 1]

Just leave her in Thailand with a few quid in her pocket. Dont bother with all the divorce crap. Then divorce her for desertion in USA.

if you screw a person over in a divorce, such as stranding her in another country and then claiming desertion since she can't get back to the country, a court can re-open the settlement for another 3 years when she sues you. (edit: that's state specific to california)

 

if you have a default divorce, the court represents her interests and divides the assets according to formula. you're still required to give her what she's due (though i think she'd have to request spousal support, so a default dissolution wouldn't give her that). (edit: again, california-specific)

 

in many US states, the duration of post-marital spousal support correlates to the duration of marriage... for example, in california,

 

if married

>= 10 years, for life

 

you really want to keep that clock ticking on a desertion plan that could backfire on you?

Edited October 9, 2007 by fountainhead

[joekicker 53]

my advice to the OP (assuming the whole topic isn't a wind-up) is to see a lawyer. while i'm not one, i recognize that much of what's been said here is completely wrong (not just joekicker's posts).

 

I realise that cheap shots at specific posters are mandatory in all threads before they become part of the Pattaya Talk Official Record, which has assumed primary global importance in establishing the Internet's credibility, but my very first advice in my very first post to the OP was to seek professional advice from specific professionals with expertise about the actual circumstances of his specific case.

[fountainhead 1]

I realise that cheap shots at specific posters are mandatory in all threads before they become part of the Pattaya Talk Official Record, which has assumed primary global importance in establishing the Internet's credibility,

 

that wasn't intended to be a shot at all. i had just addressed posts of yours that i considered to be inaccurrate, and was trying to state that there were other posts -- not yours -- that also appeared inaccurrate (to my non-legal eye).

 

i wanted to make it clear that when i was saying there were inaccurrate posts in the topic, that i was not saying that only your posts were inaccurrate, and that anybody relying on what was posted in this topic should... reconsider.

 

but my very first advice in my very first post to the OP was to seek professional advice from specific professionals with expertise about the actual circumstances of his specific case.

 

i honestly missed your reference to "ask the authorities in your state," and it was because i was focused on 2 false statements you made in that same post:

 

You can't divorce her in Thailand because you didn't marry her in Thailand.

you can divorce her in thailand, since they will recognize your marriage, so long as the thai court's rules decide that they have the jurisdiction to grant the divorce.

You can marry and divorce her in Thailand (if she agrees) but you'll still be married in the US.

almost certainly false. the US recognizes divorces and marriages from thailand. the only issue would be if a US court ruled that a thai court dissolved the marriage when the proper jurisdiction was in the US. while that could be an issue for the OP, the thai woman would need to know she could re-open the case in the US and have the means to do so.

 

(morally) right or wrong, it's apparent that the OP is trying to ditch his wife in a place where she has less (or no) legal options... getting a thai court to grant them a divorce would probably do the trick.

Edited October 9, 2007 by fountainhead

[js007 795]

I know you guys mean well, but these cases can really be complicated, especially when dealing with multiple jurisdictions or countries. The original poster needs a good divorce lawyer. If he's lucky, he might be able to obtain a valid divorce in Thailand by offering his spouse the right amount of money. If she goes for it, that might be the end of it, as the divorce would likely be recognized in the USA. In any event, getting divorced in the states might lead to alimony or some sort of spousal support (depending on the state), and would probably involve some division of property. Not a good scenario.

 

J

[wacmedia 277]

By the way I do not plan to marry again.

 

Hi,

 

Good advice, what's in it for a man nowadays ?