A Shocking Sex Story

[BigusDicus 9,883]

The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.'

 

Yes, she says, 'I remember it well.'

 

OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?'

 

Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!'

 

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.

 

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

 

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.

 

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.

 

So, as the couple passes, he says to them,' Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?'

 

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, 'Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence.

[short 215]

A friend of mine decided to celebrate his 10 year anniversary to his wife by taking her back to one of their youthfull makeout points. They were a little slower this time and got busted!!

[BigusDicus 9,883]

25 plus years ago I had a Cadillac Seville. Met a girl at an El Torito Mexican restaurant. Was married at the time and did not have a place to take her. We drove up El Toro Canyon Rd, I turned off onto a little dirt road and drove a hundred yards or so. We were making out on the front seat (caddy's were bench seating back then, no center console), I stood up on the seat, my head and torso out the moonroof, facing the rear of the car. Stuck my dick in her mouth. She was very good, did not take me long to cum. I was standing there in bliss, looking down at her face with my shriveling dick still in her mouth. She swallowed, smiled and said "we have to go back to the restaurant, my friends will be missing me".

 

Within 2-3 seconds of me sitting down a spotlight from an OC Sheriffs car illuminated us. He rolled down his window and asked if we were having problems, big fat grin on his face. I said no, we had been talking and were just leaving. 5 seconds earlier we would have been busted!

[midlifecrisis 4,048]

When I was 17 I took a 17 year old chick out and after we didn't want to drive way up in the mountains so we went to a mall that had a second deck parking level.

 

She was sucking my cock and I had my eyes and ears shut to everything else when we were lit up by a cop car in front of us and (having not locked my door) the door was flung open and i was pulled from the car with my flagpole at full length.

 

After a bit of a hassle they let us go because her dad was mayor of the town next to mine.

[BigusDicus 9,883]

Sometimes we are lucky, sometimes we are not.

Edited July 11, 2008 by BigusDicus