New Government Health Warnings for Alcohol

[Captain_C 28]

The Government are planning to put these new health warnings on bottles and tins of alcoholic beverages:

 

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the

hell happened to your bra and panties

 

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are

whispering when you are not

 

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a

IDIOT

 

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends

over and over again that you love them

 

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing

 

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that

ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning

 

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically

converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting

 

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are

tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people

 

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think that people are

laughing WITH you

 

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy

 

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may be a major factor in getting

your arse kicked

 

WARNING: the crumsumpten off halcohol may Mack you tink yoo Kan tpye Reel

Gode.

 

Sorry for any offence caused to Alcoholics with this Joke

[joekicker 53]

Thanks. Some of these warnings are really funny only because they are so close to what the nanny-state would force on us (and partly has).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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[midlifecrisis 4,030]

Forgot one that I have been guilty of

 

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can get up on the FLB stage and sing with the band as if they are your own personal karaoke machine.