Bar Humor

[Bullfrog 2,224]

53 minutes ago, Bushcraft said:

And what's this fucker here called?

That fuckers a Messerschmitt .....

[VPI78 11,498]

[VPI78 11,498]

[gs joe 1,776]

[gs joe 1,776]

Yesterday I was in a shoe store that sells only shoes, nothing else. A young girl with a tattoo and green hair walked over to me and asked, "What brings you in today? I looked at her and said, "I'm interested in buying a refrigerator." She didn't quite know how to respond, had that deer in the headlights look.

I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it. 

[VPI78 11,498]

[midlifecrisis 4,048]

groan

[gs joe 1,776]

The older you get the tougher it is to lose weight because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.

 

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement 

[gs joe 1,776]

D

[yorta2 693]

[VPI78 11,498]

[BigusDicus 9,878]

 

A buddy of mine has two tickets for the 2021 Super Bowl. Box seats, plus airfares, accommodations, etc., but he didn’t realize when he bought the package that this is going to be on the same day as his wedding — so he can’t go.

If you are interested and want to go instead of him, it’s at St. Peter’s Church in New York City at 5 pm. Her name is Heather. She is 5’4” and about 120 lbs. She is a great cook and makes $130,000 a year! She will be the one in the white dress"

[midlifecrisis 4,048]

On 10/18/2020 at 3:36 PM, yorta2 said:

"Tan me hide when I'm dead, Fred. Tan me hide when I'm dead."

[BigusDicus 9,878]

[gs joe 1,776]

[VPI78 11,498]

[VPI78 11,498]

[gs joe 1,776]

[gs joe 1,776]

[VPI78 11,498]

A man enters a bar, walks up to the bartender, sits in a stool and orders a drink. While drinking it, he notices a group of men sitting at a table. Every once in a while one of them calls a number and everybody at the table starts laughing. He asks the bartender what is going on and the bartender replies they are telling jokes, but because they already know all jokes by heart, they just numbered them.

Shortly after that, another number is called by one of the men, but nobody laughs. After asking about the bartender why no reaction to that one; the bartender replies ... 'He was telling it wrong.'

[gs joe 1,776]

[gs joe 1,776]

[VPI78 11,498]

[VPI78 11,498]

[BigusDicus 9,878]