Bar Humor

[VPI78 11,509]

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club; a cell phone on a bench rings, a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk ... Man: "Hello"

Woman answers: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"

Man: "Yes."

Woman: I am at the mall and found a beautiful leather coat. It's $1,500. Can I buy it?"

Man: "OK, go ahead if you like it that much."

Woman: I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2021 models. I saw one I really liked."

Man: How much?"

Woman: $85,000.

Man: "For that price I want it with all the options."

Woman: "Great! One more thing. ... the house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're only asking $750,000."

Man: "Well, then go ahead and buy it but just offer $725,000."

Woman: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"

Man: "Bye, I love you too."

The man hangs up. The other men are looking at him in astonishment; then he asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"

[Broughton 497]

[VPI78 11,509]

[VPI78 11,509]

[Broughton 497]

[VPI78 11,509]

[Broughton 497]

[cunneyes 206]

[cunneyes 206]

[VPI78 11,509]

[VPI78 11,509]

[VPI78 11,509]

An old lady in a nursing home is wheeling up and down the halls in her wheelchair making sounds like she's driving a car. As she's going down the hall an old man jumps out of a room and says, "Excuse me ma'am but you were speeding. Can I see your driver's license?" She digs around in her purse a little, pulls out a candy wrapper, and hands it to him. He looks it over, gives her a warning and sends her on her way.

Up and down the halls she goes again. Again, the same old man jumps out of a room and says, "Excuse me ma'am but I saw you cross the center line back there." "Can I see your registration please?" She digs around in her purse a little, pulls out a store receipt and hands it to him. He looks it over, gives her another warning and sends her on her way.

She zooms off again up and down the halls weaving all over. As she comes to the old man's room again he jumps out. This time, he's stark naked and has an erection! The old lady in the wheel chair looks up and says, "Oh no ... not the Breathalyzer again!

[VPI78 11,509]

[cunneyes 206]

[VPI78 11,509]

[BigusDicus 9,878]

[cunneyes 206]

[VPI78 11,509]

[BigusDicus 9,878]

[forcebwithu 4,853]

13 hours ago, VPI78 said:

Bilingual and transgender - looks like he was a she before becoming a he.

[VPI78 11,509]

9 hours ago, forcebwithu said:

Bilingual and transgender - looks like he was a she before becoming a he.

Maybe s(he)'s a Bono fan and still hasn't found what s(he)'s looking for

[VPI78 11,509]

[BigusDicus 9,878]

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[BigusDicus 9,878]

[BigusDicus 9,878]