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BigusDicus

Bar Humor

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A man runs into a bar.
Panting, he tells the barkeep, “Give me ten shots of your best whiskey—quick!”
So the barkeep sets them up and the man knocks them all back in seconds.
“Why you drinking so fast?” asks the barkeep.
“You’d drink fast too, if you had what I have,” says the man.
“Why, what do you have?” asks the barkeep.
“Only twelve cents.”

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3 hours ago, gs joe said:

My Thai Friendly profile  photo 

484FF1CE-BE99-412E-9F21-1753EA7A541B.jpeg

That would probably go well on a western dating site.

But most thai girls are interested in the size of your wallet and/or your heart not the size of your cock. That monster would put most of them off.......

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46 minutes ago, awesum4 said:

That would probably go well on a western dating site.

But most thai girls are interested in the size of your wallet and/or your heart not the size of your cock. That monster would put most of them off.......

Come on have already cut it in half 😱

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2 hours ago, awesum4 said:

That would probably go well on a western dating site.

But most thai girls are interested in the size of your wallet and/or your heart not the size of your cock. That monster would put most of them off.......

She said "Đau quá!" - "It hurts too much." Full Metal Jacket 

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A frenchman walks into a bar with a cat on his shoulder.
The cat is wearing a little baseball cap.
“Hey, that’s neat,” says the bartender. “Where did you get that?”
“France,” the kitty says. “They’ve got millions of them!”

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Three women were sitting in a bar, (brunette, redhead, and a blonde). They were all pregnant.

The brunette says, "I know what I'm going to have." The other to asked how. She replied, "Well I was on top when I conceived so I will have a baby boy".

The red head said, "If your logic is correct then I will have a baby girl because I was on the bottom when I conceived.

The blonde starts crying and orders another shot and starts screaming, "PUPPIES, PUPPIES!".

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I rear ended a car this morning...the driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!
He looked up at me and said "I am NOT Happy!"
So I said, "Well, which one ARE you then?"
That's how the fight started.

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After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'

.......And that's when the fight started...

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48 minutes ago, VPI78 said:

I rear ended a car this morning...the driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!
He looked up at me and said "I am NOT Happy!"
So I said, "Well, which one ARE you then?"
That's how the fight started.

I bet he was Grumpy 

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7 Dwarfs in the bath feeling Happy 

Happy got out the all felt Grumpy 

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