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Displayed prices are for multiple nights. Check the site for price per night. I see hostels starting at 200b/day and hotels from 500b/day on agoda.
BigusDicus

Bar Humor

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Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the State Fair every year. Every year Stumpy would say, "Martha, I'd like to ride in that there airplane." And every year Martha would say, "I know, Stumpy, but that airplane ride costs five dollars, and five dollars is five dollars."

This one year Stumpy and Martha went to the fair and Stumpy said, "Martha, I'm 71 years old. If I don't ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance. " Martha replied, "Stumpy, that there airplane ride costs five dollars, and five dollars is five dollars." The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal. I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you, but if you say one word it's five dollars." Stumpy and Martha agreed and up they go.

The pilot does all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word or a squeal is heard. He does all his tricks over again, but still not a word or a sound. They land and the pilot turns to Stumpy, "By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I can't charge you the five dollars. The ride is free".

Stumpy replied, "Well, I was gonna say something when Martha fell out, but five dollars is five dollars."

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Edith and Marie were outside their nursing home, having a smoke when it started to rain. Edith pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette and continued smoking.

Marie: What's that? Edith: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet. Marie: Where did you get it? Edith: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Marie hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The guy looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but politely asks what brand she prefers.

Marie: It doesn't matter as long as it fits a Camel.

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A young fellow was about to be married and was asking his grandfather about sex. He asked how often you should have it. His grandfather told him that when you first get married, you want it all the time, and maybe do it several times a day. His grandfather continued to tell the young fellow that later on, sex tapers off and you have it once a week or so. Then as you get older, you have sex maybe once a month. When you get really old, you are lucky to have it once a year - maybe on your anniversary.

The young fellow then asked his grandfather, "Well how about you and Grandma now?" His grandfather replied, "Oh, we just have oral sex now." "What's oral sex?" The young fellow asked. "Well," Grandpa said, "She goes to bed into her bedroom, and I go to into my bedroom. And she yells, 'Fuck You!" And I holler back, "Fuck You too'."

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A boy is trying to sell fish so he screams "Dam fish get your dam fish here" And a pastor walks up and asks "Why are you using bad language" So the boy says he caught them at the local dam. So the pastor buys one and takes it home and tells his wife to "Cook the dam fish!"

She says "I didn't know pastors talked like that so he explained it to her. Later at the table he says to his son "Pass the dam fish" and the son says "That's the spirit now pass the fucking potatoes."

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A customer in a DIY store asks to see a selection of files to make a choice. Confused, he asks what one of them is called. The assistant says: It's a bastard file. Visibly relaxed by this seemingly easygoing tone, the customer says: And what's this fucker here called? 

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The manager in a general store is training a new young recruit in the art of upselling.

He tells him to watch what he does when a customer walks in and asks for a packet of lawn seed. Manager: This seed is really great, you'll have a superb lawn in just weeks. Might be a good idea to buy a lawnmower as well, so that you can take good care of it. Customer: That's a good idea, I don't have one yet, can you show me what you have?

The manager makes the sale, then tells the trainee to try using the upselling technique on the next customer. A guy comes in and asks for a pack of sanitary towels for his girlfriend.

Trainee: Sure, no problem, can I also interest you in a lawn mower?
Customer: Whatever for?
Trainee: Well, your weekend's fucked, so you might as well mow your lawn.

    

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53 minutes ago, Bushcraft said:

And what's this fucker here called?

That fuckers a Messerschmitt .....

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Yesterday I was in a shoe store that sells only shoes, nothing else. A young girl with a tattoo and green hair walked over to me and asked, "What brings you in today? I looked at her and said, "I'm interested in buying a refrigerator." She didn't quite know how to respond, had that deer in the headlights look.

I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it. 

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The older you get the tougher it is to lose weight because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.

 

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement 

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A buddy of mine has two tickets for the 2021 Super Bowl. Box seats, plus airfares, accommodations, etc., but he didn’t realize when he bought the package that this is going to be on the same day as his wedding — so he can’t go.


If you are interested and want to go instead of him, it’s at St. Peter’s Church in New York City at 5 pm. Her name is Heather. She is 5’4” and about 120 lbs. She is a great cook and makes $130,000 a year! She will be the one in the white dress"

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