BigusDicus

There are no coincidences

Understand paranoid people better by following them around...

Almost 150 years ago, President Lincoln found it necessary to hire a private investigator, Mr. Alan Pinkerton. He was actually the beginning of the Secret Service. Since that time, federal police authority has grown to a large number of agencies...FBI, CIA, INS, IRS, DEA, BATF, AFT, etc. Now, Congress is considering a proposal for another agency: the “Federal Air Transportation Airport Security Service”....can’t you see it now? The new agents in their black uniforms with the initials in large white letters across their backs???

An Englishmen, a Welchman, and a Pakistani are at the maternity ward, and the Hospital says, “we apologize, but there appears to be a mixup with your children, we can’t say for certain which is which”… Since this joke lacks DNA testing, the 3 agree to sort it out for themselves. The Englishman goes in first, as is his right (alphabetical order), and he comes out a moment later with what is clearly the Pakistani baby. The Pakistani says as much… The Englishman says, “well maybe… but one of those other two is a welch baby, and I’m not taking any chances”…

Well put! Having owned three Jaguars when I was young (64 E Type, 76 XJ12L, 79 XJS) I had an intimate relationship with that MoFo, Lucas...

"Next time! ... Next time it'll work, I promise ... "

"A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn."

His impulses always were a little warped. And everybody noticed how he used to look at Chekhov.