nohlsson1

Why not he seems to do a pretty good job of it all by him self lately. Personally I think it is funny as hell.

Hahahaha! That was great.

Full Brazilian for 5 cents. Smart kid but I would undercut him for 3 cents.

A young woman had been taking golf lessons. She had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting. Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for help and to complain. Her golf pro saw her come into the clubhouse and asked, 'Why are you back in so early? What's wrong?' 'I was stung by a bee', she said. 'Where', he asked. 'Between the first and second hole', she replied. He nodded knowingly and said, 'Then your stance is too wide.'

I will start with the current ones: Apparently all the jockeys at the horse racing this weekend will be wearing black armbands in homage to Michael Jackson … He has successfully ridden more 3 yr olds than any of them! ---------------------------------- Reportedly Michael Jackson's last words were..... "Quick take me to the children's hospital." --------------------------------- Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with and the other you carry your groceries in. ----------------------------- How can you tell if Michael Jackson has a hot date? There’s a big wheel parked outside his house. -------------------------------

Every day, a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady standing at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice. After a week of this, she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a supervisor in the personnel department and asks to file a sexual harassment grievance against him. The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled and asks, "What's sexually threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?" The woman replies, "It's Keith, the midget."

I hadn't heard that farm joke before....it is a keeper.

Words of wisdom from America's Larry the Cable Guy. 1. A day without sunshine is like night. 2. On the other hand, you have different fingers. 3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. 4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name. 5. Remember, half the people you know are below average. 6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest. 7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. 8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap. 9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have. 10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. 11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines. 12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments. 13. OK, so what's the speed of dark? 14. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. 15. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. 16. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges? 17. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. 18. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice? 19. Why do psychics have to ask you your name? 20. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the heck happened?' 21. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off. 22. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 23. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapeños. What you do today, might burn your ASS tomorrow.

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES 1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU SLICE. 2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK. 3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER. 4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON. 5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH. 6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE. 7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM. Yes and we all know these folks!!! DAILY THOUGHT: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

I have to admit the one in the last pic has caught my eye.

I flew it back to Dubai in business class. I guess it would have been one of the first flights. I must say it was top shelf!

Have you ever noticed that if you rearrange the letters in “illegal immigrants” and add a few more letters, it actually spells out: “Fuck off and go home all you benefit-stealing, kid-producing, no-English-speaking cocksuckers, and take those hairy-faced, andal-wearing, bomb-making, goat-fucking, mutton-eating, smelly raghead bastards with you.” How weird is that ??

The last photo of the one in red looks very tasty!

Great pics, It all looked good for me but I guess I am slowly getting away from my western thoughts and beliefs.

I know these are old but a couple still had me smiling this morning. LESBONICS 1 . What do you call a pantry full of lesbians? ... A licker cabinet. 2. What do you call an Eskimo lesbian? .... A Klondyke. 3. What do you call 100 lesbians with guns? ... Militia Etheridge. 4. Why can't lesbians diet and wear make-up at the same time? ... Because they can't eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on their face. 5. What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? ... Fur Traders. 6. What is a lesbian dinosaur called? .... A Lickalotapuss. 7. What do you call a lesbian with long fingers? ... Well Hung. 8. Did you hear that Ellen DeGeneres drowned? ... She was found face down in Ricki Lake . 9. How can you tell a tough lesbian bar? ... Even the pool table doesn't have balls. 10. What do you call lesbian twins? ... Lick-a-likes. 11. What's the definition of mass confusion? ... Twenty blind lesbians in a fish market. 12. What's the difference between a Ritz cracker and a lesbian? ... One's a snack cracker, the other's a crack snacker. 13. What do you have when you've got 50 lesbians and 50 state workers? ... 100 people that don't do dick.

It had everyone in my office laughing. Thankfully we are not PC.

Look two pics down. She is the one in the light blue tank top. Not really my type, but she does look good from behind.

You have such a keen eye. It was a great night. I wish I could have stayed longer but my girl was insistent on getting back to the loom. Hopefully I will see Nam and Adam in August.

I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange, so I went to the currency exchange window at the local bank. Short line. Just one guy in front of me...an Asian guy who was trying to exchange yen for dollars and he was a little irritated. He asked the teller, "Why it change?? Yestoday, I get two hunat dolla for yen. Today I get hunat eighty?? Why it change?" The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations". The Asian guy says, "Fluc you white people too!"

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Just to let everyone know I used Mr. Dream for the Sak Yant tour. It was better than expected. His driver was early and waiting to transfer us to Wat Bang Phra. Shortly after we were finished Jason and his family showed up to meet us. He runs a top notch service and will definitely use him again.

Thanks for the info on the Sak Yant tour. I will be contacting you shortly to schedule it.

A wise decision!

I had a good chuckle.

I love it!