Eneukman

A number of internal flights are due to land at and leave from the new airport today. Unfortunately, when Thaksin arrived this morning, everything went smoothly so there is now no problem. Alan

150 baht for your "medical" certificate? I paid something like 80 baht and I did see the doctor, albeit for about 1 minute. Yes, a total joke. No problem so as you're not totally blind. The astygmatism test you suggested is to test depth perception. Alan

I was still on dial up until the beginning of the month when my landlord installed broadband for me. When I was in the UK, I couldn't get broadband as AOL and Telewest were incapable of talking to one another. Alan

Gonzo, you are talking about the Pattaya Ex-Pats Club. MrMango is talking about the Pattaya CITY Ex-Pats Club. The City Ex-Pats Club is a breakaway from the Ex-Pats Club. I don't know why the Club split in two as this was before I came to live in Pattaya. Alan

I've replied to the post you made on Secrets, so I'll just do a copy and paste of what I said there - "I suspect that what your friend is doing is either highly illegal or is not in the spirit of the rules. Whatever, if Immigration at some point in the future decide to have a close look at his documentation, he could find himself very quickly becoming persona non grata as far as Thailand is concerned. If he doesn't have the funds to buy a ticket out of the country he will be spending time in the monkey house until funds are provided. Keep it legal! If Immigration ask you to jump through hoops, then bloody well jump through them. They can make life extremely difficult for you if you don't play by THEIR rules." Alan

I was just guessing when I said 10%. The rules regarding warnings are posted somewhere but I couldn't be bothered hunting for it. Too busy getting Just found this in FAQ - It's not the post I'm thinking of though http://www.pattayatalk.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=8053 Alan

I would be inclined to agree with your thoughts on this matter. I had my hand luggage searched when I came back from Turkey a few years ago. My case was first off the carousel. Then 2 or 3 years ago, my case was first off the plane and one of the Customs' officials had a chat with me as we passed through the green channel. More than coincidence that I was singled out there. The only time I've flown with hand luggage only on an international flight was when I came back to Scotland for 2 weeks after finding somewhere to live here. However, as I flew into London and went through Passport Control at Heathrow I simply came off the internal flight to Edinburgh and walked straight out the terminal building without going near any Customs' check point. Alan

Everyone has a warning bar though you can only see your own one. You want to keep it at zero. If you break the rules, you will be given a formal warning and your warning bar will show something like 10% or something. Alan

OK First, in view of my above comment, let me say at the outset that this is an oldie - though (hopefully) not as old as the one that started this thread. Bankers Balls A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day, carrying a bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, "It's a lot of money!" After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into the president's office. The bank president then asked her how much she would like to deposit. She replied, "$165,000!" and dumped the cash out of her bag onto his desk. The president was of course curious as to how she came by all this cash, so he asked her, "Madam, I'm surprised you're carrying so much cash around. Where did you get this money?" The old lady replied, "I make bets." The president then asked, "Bets? What kind of bets?" The old woman said, "Well, for example, I'll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square." The president laughs, "That's a stupid bet. You can never win that kind of bet!" The old lady challenged, "So, would you like to take my bet?" The president agrees, "Sure, I'll bet $25,000 that my balls aren't square!" The little old lady then said, "Okay, but since there is a lot of money involved, may I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10am as a witness?" "Sure!" replied the confident president. That night, the president got very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of a mirror checking his balls, turning from side to side, again and again. He thoroughly checked them out until he was sure that there was absolutely no way his balls were square and that he would win the bet. The next morning, at precisely 10am, the little old lady appeared with her lawyer at the president's office. She introduced the lawyer to the president and repeated the bet "$25,000 says the president's balls are square!" The president agreed with the bet again and the old lady asked him to drop his pants so they could all see. The president complied. The little old lady peered closely at his balls and then asked if she could feel them. "Well, Okay," said the president, "$25,000 is a lot of money, so I guess you should be absolutely sure." Just then, he noticed that the lawyer was quietly banging his head against the wall. The president asked the old lady, "What the hell's the matter with your lawyer?" She replied, "Nothing, except I bet him $100,000 that at 10am today I'd have The Bank of Canada's president's balls in my hand." Alan

That one's even older than the ones I post. Alan

I believe it - in fact if you knew what a friend's cousin got up to, you would believe almost anything of anyone. Still no excuse for this sort of behaviour. The hotels that lost out on custom would be fully entitled to charge their full price. Maybe when this starts happening, this sort of conduct will cease. Alan

I find it very sad that someone has to start a thread on a topic like this. It's extreme bad manners not to cancel if you have to change your plans. The same goes for guys who book multiple hotel rooms for one night. Why? You can only stay in one hotel, for Christ's sake! I have come to the conclusion that there are a lot of very rude people in the world - and the problem is that none of them recognises their behavious as such. Now, if someone's rude to me, I am rude to them. Alan

Oh you're such a cynic! I haven't been back in since they charged me the totally ludicrous sum of 155 baht for a vodka and coke. Alan

And if you want a baht bus on Christmas Eve or Hogmanay - forget it! Coming from Jomtien, I had to wait about 20 minutes both days to get into town. On Hogmanay, I struck it lucky on the way back as a bus had just pulled up at the junction between 2nd Road and South Pattaya Road when I arrived. There were NO buses waiting! I may just stay in Jomtien this year! Alan

1. Proof of address - This is issued by Immigration at Jomtien Beach Road Soi 5. I rent a condo here so I took my lease with me (and a copy of the page showing my address) and a couple of photographs. I had to pay a small fee (can't remember how much) and went back in the afternoon to pick up the certificate. At Immigration, I was reminded that I would also need a medical certificate, which as it happened I had obtained the prevous day. I doubt very much whether your hotel will suffice as an address but the other two options you mention should suffice. You just need to prove to Immigration that that is where you will be staying. 2. An international license makes things easier. If you use your UK licence, you may need to take some extra tests. I see from mine that it shows on the reverse what kind of vehicle you are allowed to drive so you may be OK. Bear in mind though that if you want to ride a motor bike as well, you will need a seperate licence for this. 3. Immigration only issue the "proof of address". Everything else is done at the licensing centre. If you are uncertain about what photos you need and what you need copies of, there are a number of shops outside the centre who will keep you right. I was driven out to the centre so I can't give you any more definitive instructions on how to get there apart from top confirm that it's on the road to Rayong. It's on the right hand side of the road. Alan

Have you thought about contacting the local English language newspapers (Pattaya Mail, Pattaya People Weekly etc)? A bit of adverse publicity for the Police might just be what's needed to get them to take this matter seriously. You know the sort of thing. - "Armed maniac threatens family with gun. Police just slap him on the wrist and tell him to be a good boy" Alan

There are some tests which ALL new applicants must take. I got my licence a few months ago - (I had a UK International Licence, which is a bonus). The tests were - 1. Colour blindness. A guy points at a chart and you have to say what colour is being pointed out. The coloured bits are various shapes and sizes and I found it quite hard to see which object was being pointed out. 2. Reaction time test. You have a mock up car with brake and accelerator. You put the accelerator flat to the floor and keep it there until a red light shows. You then have to hit the brake hard within a certain timescale. One girl in front of me failed the first time but was allowed to try again. I was a bit slow in hitting the brake but fortunately was right on the time limit. 3. Peripheral vision test. Similar to the colour blindness test but checks your ability to recognise colours from the corner of your eye. There may have been a 4th test but I can't remember what it was so it can't have been that demanding. Do all this correctly and have all the correct paperwork and you will receive a 1 year licence. Your first renewal will be for 5 years. However, a weird quirk of Thai law says you must allow your one year licence to expire before applying to renew it. Apply to renew it within the 1 year period and you will simply get another 1 year. I think you will then get a licence with unlimited validity once your 5 year licence expires, but I'm not absolutely certain on this. As for being a "fucking paranoid prat", STAY WITHIN THE LAW expecially if you are not a fluent Thai speaker. Alan

Thanks for that. I've bookmarked it to look at in more detail when I decide to go to Chiang Mai for a few days. Alan

I'm not into share trading in a big way though I do manage my own investments from LOS. The first thing you need to do is to set up an account with a broker. I have an account with Nationwide Sharedeal, which is actually managed by Brewin Dolphin on their behalf. The stocks are kept in a nominee name so there are no forms to sign when you sell a holding. The fee for this service is nominal. Each deal attracts a charge of £50 with purchases also attracting stamp duty. If I want to deal, I just phone them up and tell them what I want to buy or sell. To buy shares, you need to use a debit card though they will be happy to use the sale proceeds of a stock to buy a different stock. Be warned though - there is a limit set by Visa as to how much you can charge on your debit card in any one day! I took out a subscription to Investors Chronicle magazine, which gives you on line access to a lot of the information in the magazine. The magazine comments on each company's half yearly and full year results and gives their recommendation on the company. This can be - buy, good value, fairly priced, high enough or sell. You can also check the latest price of any UK share on line - there is about a 20 minute delay here. The downside here is that opinions on a company's share price are not really given frequent enough if you want to do some serious share dealing so I'd be interested in what other sites might be helpful. One very important point to bear in mind is NOT to invest more money than you can afford to lose and to spread your funds between a number of different stocks. I suspect that the current tensions in the Middle East and the rising oil price could very well send stock markets lower in the short term. Alan

I wouldn't say the rain is prolonged in October. It will rain (torrential) for around an hour or so several days during the month. Some roads will flood for a short time (2nd Road, Central Road, 3rd Road, Soi Buakaow, the junction between South Pattaya Road and 2nd Road, but once the rain stops, the water drains away very quickly. Nothing to stop you coming in October. If the rain does come on, just dive into the nearest bar until it goes off. I agree that rainwear isn't required though an umbrella will come in handy. Just now at 1.30 in the afternoon, it's cloudy, quite breezy and the temperature on my balcony is 35 Celsius. I'll be taking my umbrella when I go out later though I'm hopeful it won't be required. Alan

No need to go to Hull - everything can be done by post so long as you have the right documentation. I did actually go to Hull, but that was my choice. As for the guarantee leter, they'll accept it from anyone - they don't check up, which is just as well as I doubt whether my brother could pay for my repatriation from his own funds. I granted a power of attorney in his favour so he is able to sign cheques etc on my behalf. Alan

I use Skype for both outgoing and incoming calls. There are times when it's great and others when it's bloody useless. My brother phoned me from Scotland today whilst I was downloading music from a couple of sites. The quality was OK though there was a bit of an echo at my end some of the time (possibly due to me downloading music). Alan

Quote - "58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers." I am embarassed to admit to being one of those 58 a few years back - whilst trying to unblock a window that couldn't open due to a build up of paint. I can also sympathise with the 8 poor sods who cracked their skulls whilst puking. Alan

Hope the test flights into and out of the new airport later this month go well. I still get the feeling that 28th September is too early for the new airport and that it is going to be absolute chaos for anyone arriving or leaving immediately after that date. Alan

Scumbag, on your budget, you will be looking at a studio appartment. I would certainly use the time here later this month to have a look at different areas. Like Gabor, I'm in View Talay (2A). They do have cameras in every corridor now BUT the screens to view what's been going on are in the office, which is locked when the office is closed. I have a double room and my water costs average out at around 260 baht or so per month. I only have a ceiling fan in the bedroom and that costs a fraction of aircon to run. My electric costs vary from 600 baht in the "cold" season to 1,200 baht or so in the hot season. Alan