Ergodyne

It's been mentioned before but i have to agree, those bloody whistles. There was a hotel next to where i was living a few years ago and coaches arrived at all times of the night and day, of course they were ushered into position by a security guy with a whistle. You can drive to the store, but once there it seems you need someone to direct you to park (i'm citing Friendship store car park here) imagine how many of these guys they would need at somewhere like Tesco in the U.K. ! I now want to buy one of those whistles and echo what they do without them knowing where it's coming from. Like some other posters, i also tell the street vendors with flowers, birds and 'photo opportunities' with furry animals; "Imm Lao" i'm full. Motorbikes on pavements. 'Show ponies' outside bars that desert you when you are inside. The persistent, enquiring phrase " One more ? " I'll tell you when i want another drink. Pushy tailors. (i don't think they actually make the stuff, there are loads of places around Pattaya soisong 16 area, churning out clothing.) "No Hab" when they just can't be bothered to look. Flexible laws, (that is actually working in our favour, at least on the subject of prostitution) Persistent vendors that push you to the point of saying " What part of NO don't you understand ? "

That's a nasty case of tapeworm she's got !

March was when my son celebrated his 15th birthday and I got him an iPhone, he just loved it, who wouldn't? I celebrated my birthday in July and my wife made me very happy when she bought me an iPad. My daughter's birthday was in August, so I got her an iPod Touch. September came, so for my wife's birthday I bought her an iRon. It was around then that the fight started . . . What my wife failed to recognize is that the iRon can be integrated into the home network with the iWash, iCook and iClean. This inevitably activates the iNag reminder service. I should be out of the hospital by Thursday!

Spot on ! I feel they would rather drive with no one on board ready for a group of . . . . well . . . . you've said it now, Russians and get big money for a short trip. single passengers are becoming a nuisance when, if they have no one on board, they are ready to go anywhere for a big fare. To be honest, i can't blame them, if these people are willing to part with lots of cash, i'd probably do the same too, but it's so frustrating when you are trying to catch one. P.S. This happened to me at around 9:30 P.M. on Pratamnack road, between V.C. hotel area and the junction with Pattaya Tai, heading north.

I think there may be a new trend in attitudes of the Baht bus drivers. Last night i had 20, yes, 20, (i counted them) mostly empty, drive past me while i was trying to get one to stop, some slowed down but when i did not approach the window to speak,they pulled away only to stop further up the road at a group of people. My feeling is that they want groups of people who they can charge 'private hire' rather than single passengers. My feeling is that gullible tourists (i think you can guess the nationality of the people i'm referring to) who will pay over the odds, seem to be the cause of this new trend. Before anyone says 'they are just trying to make a living', i understand this but when bus after bus refuses to stop it's annoying to say the least. Has anyone else noticed this? or is it just me.

Must be a short time only place !

Dread it every year, it gets worse and worse, it should be harmless fun but too many pissed up ferang get carried away and lose all respect for other people.

It' true, falling does not hurt or injure, it's the sudden impact with the ground that causes the problems. Seriously; R.I.P. Ccondolences to her family.

"OI SANTA . . . . WHERE"S ME F**KIN" BIKE, IV'E OPENED ALL ME PRESENTS AND THERE'S F**K ALL THAT I LIKE?" "HO HO F**KIN' HO WHAT A CROCK OF SH*T, WE ALL WORK FOR SANTA CLAUS WE'VE 'AD ENOUGH, WE QUIT. 'CAUSE WE DO ALL THE F**KIN' WORK WHILE HE STARS IN THE SHOW, SO STICK YOUR CHRISTMAS UP YOUR ARSE, HO HO F**KIN' HO."

Men Are Just Happier People NICK NAMES If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Dickhead and Shit for Brains. EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. MONEY A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale. BATHROOMS A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items. ARGUMENTS A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. FUTURE A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife SUCCESS A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. MARRIAGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does. DRESSING UP A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. NATURAL Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. OFFSPRING Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears, hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

I like the last one ! The guy is obviously ready for her to start !

An Aussie walks into a pub and takes a seat next to a very attractive Sheila...... ( some kind of miracle!) He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, 'Is your date running late?' 'No', he replies,'I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it..' The intrigued woman says, 'a state-of-the-art watch? ''What's so special about it?' The Aussie explains, 'It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.' The lady says, 'What's it telling you now?' Well, it says you're not wearing any panties.' The woman giggles and replies 'Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!' The Aussie smiles, taps his watch and says, ' Bloody thing's an hour fast!'

Alzheimer's Test How fast can you guess these words? 1. F_ _K 2. PU_S_ 3. S_X 4. P_N_S 5. BOO_S 6. _ _NDOM Answers: 1. FORK 2. PULSE 3. SIX 4. PANTS 5. BOOKS 6. RANDOM You got all 6 wrong....didn't you? Well, good news...... You don't have Alzheimer's, but you are a pervert!

My friend takes the ferry over to Koh Larn most mornings, the other day there was no where to sit, a group of Russians had spread themselves out along one bench, and ignored him trying to find somewhere to sit. Pasty faced, Rude, Arrogant, Selfish, shall i go on ?

I read it as personalised plectrums, without knowing what type or gauge that could be a recipe for disaster.

Now Utopia on Walking street, (keep going towards Bali Hi, past rolling stone) can't miss it, the guys are there.

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the Pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some Cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband." The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law ! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!" The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

Brilliant ! !

I often notice name badges with noi and ask if it's Noi or No1

A fiend of mine once brought some clippers, he made the first sweep before he realised it was on the lowest setting. He had no choice but to carry on and shave the rest of his head !