SmellyFarang

A buddy & I were happy with a couple 1-month rentals from Dancewatchers.com I was concerned about scams for stuff like getting deposits back, extra charges for water, etc, but they were decent to deal with. I posted a detailed TR earlier: Review: 1 Month Condo From Dancewatchers.com

A topic a number of BMs may find interesting (especially those with Facebook accounts) : I wonder what their nifty datamining technology would uncover about Pattaya forum postings

Seen the previous polls of "where you from?" & "how old are you?" But let's get down to the bottom line with a true scientific poll: How ugly are you, really? Are you closer to a Danny DeVito or Brad Pitt? And despite your wretched, pathetic score, how high of a hottie have you scored with in LOS?

When I was an wee little lad, innocent to the ways of the world, I received a similarly harsh lesson from a camel. Whilst visiting the zoo with my big bag of fresh peanuts, I thought I'd share my bounty with the nice looking camel in the pen. So I held up a peanut, straining to reach up so the camel wouldn't have to inconvenience itself by leaning down too far over the fence. I happily opened my hand only to furrow my brows in puzzlement as the camel "missed" the peanut and continued down past my hand. "Silly camel", I thought, "you missed". My frown of puzzlement quickly turned to a look of horror as the camel firmly planted its entire snout into my bag of peanuts and proceeded to eat the entire bag in just a couple quick bites. Still frozen in dismay, I watched as the camel snuffled in the empty bag a bit more before pulling to also grab the peanut still in my hand. Apparently still not satisfied from taking all I had, the camel then proceeded to stuff its snout down my shirt looking for even more. Not finding any, it then let out a tremendous snort that filled my shirt with warm, gooey snot. I was left standing there crying, all of my peanuts gone, with only a shirt full of steaming snot to show for it. In retrospect I should probably thank my friend from the wild kingdom for helping to prepare me for the ways of life that layed ahead. We can all learn learn lessons from our furry friends; I'm now reminded of my early life experience every time the tax man comes around ... No doubt the knock in the head for his attempted act of kindness & sharing will help this Thai kid in the ways of the world as well. -Smelly

Interesting news this morning. I posted this on a couple other boards, but I just had to share here also. Check out the video in the article at 1:13 http://bossip.com/139759/chicks-with-dcks-...y-gaga-packing/ What do you think? Was that a "peener" that popped out, or just some "bunched up underwear" like her manager is insisting? And would you still take her for a ride on your "disco stick"? -Smelly Edit: corrected link

Luckily, something eventually WAS included, right near the top.

Sulu approves!

Unfortunately, I can't take credit for this personally... but I can still share the result -Smelly

My buddy & I got some condos from DW earlier this year and were happy with the result. I posted a review you can check for more details: Review: 1 Month Condo From Dancewatchers.com -Smelly

I checked the place out for lunch my last trip. It was a great place with good A/C & service and good food. Except for the fact that I forgot I was in an English Pub when ordering - so my filet mignon arrived drowning in a pool of mustard sauce with even more mustard sauce on top. So a word of caution to my fellow Americans who visit - beware the mustard! -Smelly

Very cool; thanks for the feedback all. -Smelly

So we hop a Baht Bus from Jomtien to WS with the usual afternoon traffic and crazy moterbikes zipping around everywhere. I happen to glance down through the back window and notice the driver is not only “steering” with his knees, he has his head down and is intently concentrating on some mesmerizing task that requires not only both hands, but apparently his full, undivided attention that couldn’t be bothered with such distractions as actually looking out the windshield. What is this urgent, fascinating task you ask? Apparently he decided that driving through heavy traffic was the ideal time to roll a cigarette. Oops, we hit bump in the road and he’s spilled his tobacco. He now has his head down BELOW the steering wheel while he meticulously picks up every precious shred of brown heaven. Eventually satisfied that he has retrieved all his precious puff from the seat (but not before also carefully inspecting his shirt for any strays), he resumes rolling his cigarette. At least at this point he now has his wrists in periodic contact with the steering wheel while he completes the process and lights up with a true sigh of satisfaction. Finally a brief glance forward to confirm he hasn’t hit anything too large yet. Life is good… Meanwhile I’m frantically looking for a parachute... Anyone with some fresh baht bus stories to add? -Smelly

Can anyone provide more updated info regarding hotels that offer stripper poles in some of the rooms? I saw some old info on another board: * Penthouse Hotel Pattayaland Soi 2 * The Vault on Pratamnak Rd www.thevaultpattaya.com Also curious if any offer "love swings" or other such exotic "accessories". I know there are some cheap "door swings" that ones can bring themselves, but I'd always be concerned of breaking a door or something; plus those are a lot more limiting than a true swing. -Smelly

-Smelly

Always have to respect a guy that's man enough to offer an honest apology. Accepted in the spirit it was offered. -Smelly

Fines for not having a Thai license are apparently a routine money-maker for the BiB according to other posts. A common piece of advice in those posts is to basically avoid making a big deal of it if you are stopped. Don't try to argue legalities and instead just try some laid-back negotiation to try to pay your fine there or "have it delivered" (the cop may have you give the fine to a motor taxi or some random guy there so you don't give the cop the cash directly). Some posters say it helped when their TG handled the negotiation with the cop (as low as 100B, but often more). -Smelly

Wow, Obsession is agreeing with me? I thought you'd rather spend an evening plucking the hairs out of your testicles one follicle at a time Maybe you're not such a bad lout after all ... Unless today is "Opposite Day" on the board and nobody told me! -Smelly

Sorry, can't help. I personally find the horrid, flesh colored pantyhose stockings that hide otherwise yummy, magnificent, smooth, flawless (and did I mention "yummy"?) BG legs to be one of the most egregious crimes in LOS. -Smelly

Thanks for the pos feedback, but I have to ask: "if I get the chance to go again..." Dude, what are you thinking? If you can seriously resist the alluring call of Pattay, then you're a stronger man than I. -Smelly

I can certainly agree on that, and that's a big part of the value of these forums. I just wasn't expecting to walk into a buzzsaw (cool, they even have a smilie for that!) A more sensitive guy could have got his feelings hurt. Luckily LOS quickly teaches one to stay focused on one's mission of TGs and let everything else that doesn't matter truly slide. I guess if I can deal with the baht bus drivers, I can live with the rough ride of my first thread here. -Smelly

I'd be more convinced if the OP hadn't felt the need to create a new username to make the report. It's a legit review, though I am new to this forum (but I look forward to exploring more Regarding those BMs complaining about the sexy pics on the site, I staunchly agree that sexy, scantily clad TGs should never be used in advertising (NOT! seriously guys, WTF are you thinking?) -Smelly What forum are you not new to then? And under what nick do you usually post? And how much did you get paid to put this up here, Addicts, Live and Secrets? Just curious Gee, you caught me. Pattaya-Addicts is where I've posted the most; I've only briefly skimmed most others so far (though I must say I do like the more entertaining smilies here ). I hope all you guys taking the time to piss on me have at least posted lots of cool TG pics in the past to make up for it. -Smelly

I'd be more convinced if the OP hadn't felt the need to create a new username to make the report. It's a legit review, though I am new to this forum (but I look forward to exploring more Regarding those BMs complaining about the sexy pics on the site, I staunchly agree that sexy, scantily clad TGs should never be used in advertising (NOT! seriously guys, WTF are you thinking?) -Smelly

A buddy & I just finished renting a pair of condos from DanceWatchers.com for a month, and since this forum (and others) was such a helpful source of info, I thought I’d contribute a review of my experience for others as well. I’d always used hotels during past trips, but liked the idea of getting a nicer place for a lower price for a longer stay. But I was very concerned & hesitant about getting ripped off with a scam. How easy would it be for a guy to just advertise a place and take your cash (especially since most places only accepted a wire transfer)? Or you show up and there’s a “problem”? Or with most of these guys demanding an additional 1-month deposit, how easy would it be for them to stall & keep your deposit knowing that you had to leave the country? Even the large-looking rental companies like Fair Properties were really just brokers representing individual owners, so they would not be responsible for any problems you had with the owner. I've also heard (second hand), that Fair Properties in recent months has been slow to pay pay forward customers' rent & buildings fees which has resulted in renters having their water shut off, etc. by the building management. DanceWatchers.com had a lot of good reviews on this & other forums, and they had 3 key advantages that strongly factored into my decision to go with them: 1. Tik, the owner, spoke excellent English and had an American husband, so I had much less concerns about “misunderstandings”. 2. Unlike every other place I talked to, DanceWatchers did not require a 1-month deposit in addition to the actual rent. 3. Also unlike every other place, they accepted payment by credit card via PayPal, so you had all the protections of your credit card company if any problems arose. DanceWatchers’ prices initially seemed higher than other websites (like Fair Properties), but after spending a ton of time and no small expense with overseas phone calls I learned that most the other sites were using “bait ‘n switch” pricing. They’d advertise a low rate, but when you called you were told that rate was only for 1 year rentals. The rate for just 1 month was typically 2x or more, plus wanting a 1 month deposit, so you were actually looking at over 4x the price – and you had to pay with a wire transfer! Plus you had to fight to drag out of them the details of various hidden charges (electricity, water, etc). So once I got educated on the game, I concluded that DanceWatchers’ prices were in fact very fair and only suffered from the fact that they were honest prices without hidden charges or other scams. Even more frustrating with other websites was the waste of time when you found that their websites were woefully out of date with most listed properties “no longer available”. Or if they were available, they would only accept long-term rentals (despite being described as “monthly”). Again, using Fair Properties as an example, they listed a bunch of properties, but after nearly an hour on the phone struggling through broken English, only a few were truly available for a 1-month rental. So, we rented from DanceWatchers and took advantage of their broad inventory in different parts of town. We each did a couple condos, some in Jomtien Beach (View Talay 2A & 2B) as well as View Talay 6 in Pattaya (next to the new Century Festival Mall). View Talay 6 is a new building and my condo there supported USA grounded plugs, so I could directly plug in my computer and other equipment no problem (most adapters support the 220v output there). All the condos had nice, modern décor and 42” LCD TVs that we could directly plug into our computers with HDMI cables – so we could easily play all the USA & Thai movies we had on our computers (tip: "Som Tum" is a fun Thai movie based in Pattaya that all my girls seemed to love). The service from DanceWatchers was also excellent during our stay, and Tik saved us a lot of time & hassle by taking care of a lot of little things that otherwise could have quickly consumed a lot of our trip, for example: 1. Providing cell phones with pre-programmed numbers. 2. Being able to tell us where to find things around town, etc. 3. Pointing us to the better providers for laundry, massages, etc. in the buildings. 4. Immediately getting a replacement for the cable modem’s power adapter in my condo 5. Tik’s husband showing us around WS (wow, he even volunteered without us asking Plus Tik lives in VT2A, so if you’re a dumbass that likes to lock himself out of his room (like I did on occasion), she's around to quickly let you back in. The fact that live live on-site is also a nice help. Bottom line: I highly recommend you check them out first and use them as a baseline for comparing the others. We not only plan to rent from DanceWatchers again, but I was so impressed with Tik's professionalism that I’m hoping to invest in 1-2 condos in the future and have DanceWatchers manage them for me. Feel free to PM me with any questions. You can find their website at: http://dancewatchers.com/ The first pair of pics are from the roof of View Talay 2A, looking down on the large bar complex across the street (Jomtien's version of Walking Street). The second pic is looking up the road towards WS. Note the Big Buddha hill in the upper right corner; you see it in the upper left corner of the first View Talay 6 pics which helps orient you. The second set of pics are from the roof of View Talay 6. Going clockwise, the first shows the view down Beach Road to WS, the next a zoomed version (about a 15 min walk). The 3rd pic shows the view up Beach Road with the last pic showing the back overlooking Beach Road. The building under construction next door is the Century Festival Mall. -Smelly