PattayaPete

Actually, I am sure its not the board. I can confirm after further extensive testing that this software is definitely quicker. However, you are not all going nuts either. Along with the software change we also changed servers. It appears that the new server occasionally comes pretty much to a halt. I'm discussing this with the server providers at the moment and so far have isolated the problem to their system. Interestingly the day the forum went live on this server, which was previously hosting the general Pattaya Pages only, the hits went from around 10,000 a day to over 250,000. Still it's a fast server and should not be having this problem. More, when I know more.

To change, you need to do the following . . . Click on "My Controls" at the top of this page Then Click on "Skin and Languages". This is the third from last choice near the bottom of the page. Under Board Skin, choose "Large Fonts (for those with poor eye sight)" Click on "Change my account options" Your done! Happy viewing.

Looks as though the government of Fearless Leader has backpedalled faster than a brace of trick-cyclists on the issue of witching hour closing for places offering any form of entertainment. Their sophisticated reasoning that reducing closing hours will somehow miraculously see teenagers return to the bosom of the family home full of filial piety instead of Mekhong and soda ignores the reality that they are far more likely to simply roam the mean streets looking for trouble. Of course the next step down this draconian road would be to enact a law forbidding congregations of more than four people without written police permission. So now we have a back-to-the-drawing-board situation in what has resembled a script from a Mack Sennett Keystone Kops slapstick movie. Picture Purely Puritannical, eyes agog at the wheel of an old rattletrap, his faithful offsider Preacher Malcontent slavering at his side, and a batch of brown-uniformed peelers in bell helmets waggling their truncheons as they skid about the wilds of Issan in a frantic search for underage drinkers and hidden stills. The word ‘farce’ may well have been coined to describe just this situation. What’s next, a return to the Pattaya Wisdom Fair on a Saturday evening? Panda Party: Gender-confused Pattayaland Soi 1 is the place to be on Monday evening 22 March when the Spicy Girls ogling den celebrates part owner Panda’s birthday. The usual four-legged lump of pork will meet its maker and be served up to well-wishers looking for a pig and a poke. The den is noted for its good music and friendly atmosphere with cheap lady drinks as well as 45 baht Chang bottled amber and Thai rotgut all night. So, if you’re a regular or have enjoyed a few libations in the chrome pole palace on previous occasions, wander on down for Panda’s birthday party. If you aren’t, as the sign out the front of the den says, ‘balloon chasers bugger off’. Post-Election Dance Contest: The monthly Diamond ogling den (Soi Diamond) dance contest will take place on Saturday 27 March, commencing around 9:30PM. Entry is 200 baht (females free) with your first drink free. Apart from the dance contests, a few of the damsels of Diamond have achieved a certain notoriety for their portrayal of Sappho of Lesbos’ favourite acrobatics involving the use of the tongue and not much else. These performances usually commence around 10:00PM and the grapevine has been quick to pick up on the quality and fun element in these shows so that the den fills up with goggled-eyed punters. Far From the Madding Crowd: Fun Town has a number of characters who’ve lived in the place for so long they could regale you with amazing tales of times when Pattaya was not much more than blink and you’ve missed it place. One of these is an ex-pat American known to all and sundry simply by his initials: B.J. He and his family operate the eponymous B.J.’s (Beach Road, north Pattaya; next to Henry J. Beans), a noshery first and relaxing boozer second. B.J. has been in Pattaya since around 1971 and gave his name to the small soi on Walking Street housing the Tahitian Queen 2 ogling den. With lolly water at around 30 baht and Carlsberg bottled amber fluid at 55 baht, B.J.’s is a nice spot to just sit and look out across the bay, far from the noise of beer boozers and karaoke assassins. More Shows Than Vaudeville: Captain Picard, the owner of the highly successful Living Dolls pair of ogling dens on Walking Street, claims to now have no less than 38 different cameos at Living Dolls Showcase, colloquially known as Living Dolls 2, between 10:00PM and 2:00AM. I sat in the chrome pole palace from around 8:30PM until late just recently and watched as the place turned from below average to excellent and almost empty to practically full in the space of a couple of hours. Prior to the commencement of the shows, Living Dolls Showcase is not much different to a host of similar establishments: a clutch of average and bored looking damsels caressing the chrome poles while all and sundry suffer the aural disasters spun by your typical brain dead Thai DJ. However, once showtime kicks into gear, the place fills up and the music for the various cameos is just right. Libations in the Showcase den are not cheap with bottled amber nectar at 110 baht and liver wasters 125 baht, but the place fills up substantially once showtime kicks into gear. Lady drinks are 99 baht. Value from the Top Shelf: Ever since it first opened its doors (my addled memory thinks it was around 1995), the Happy ogling den (Walking Street) has always proved to be one of the most popular in town. This is in spite of the ‘my-guano-don’t-stink’ attitude of many of the dancing damsels. I’ve always referred to the place as Unhappy, as most of the chrome pole huggers rarely smile, but maybe this is one of the reasons why people keep coming back. Fun Town may well be full of closet masochists. Another reason the bar does well, even outside happy hour (8-9:30PM with draught amber, liver wasters, Thai rotgut and lolly water at just 40 baht), is that for those who like to indulge in the top shelf spirits they come in a large glass and priced at just 95 baht. This is good value when compared with many other establishments who sting punters to the tune of 115 baht plus. How Ya Goin’:{/B] Aussie Mick, who used to operate the now-defunct Playpen ogling den in Soi Yamato, has resurfaced in Sihanoukville, Cambodia. Mick’s new bar and guesthouse is called, appropriately, the G’day Mate Bar, and is located in the centre of town. The bar is open (Fearless Leader and minions take note) 24-hours a day, seven days a week serving booze as well as Western, Thai and Khmer nosh. There are those who claim Sihanoukville is like Pattaya was 20 years ago; others say it’s more like it was three decades or more ago. It’s not a place that’s easy to walk around but a can of the locally brewed Angkor amber fluid costs the equivalent of 40 baht and room rates in Mick’s joint run between US$5.00 and US$10.00 depending whether you require air-conditioning. For those interested in contacting Mick you can call him on 001-855-122-80947 or send him an email: MickDistler@hotmail.com My e-mail address is: nightmarch@hotmail.com Author of Pattaya "Patpong on steroids" No reproduction without specific reference to: nightmarch@hotmail.com

From Sea to Shining Sea: It started life as Blue Hawaii, became Champion 2, then metamorphosed into Rock and Roll before acquiring the name Frozen and is now known as The Sea. One of the cluster of ogling dens in Soi Diamond, The Sea offers draught amber at 55 baht all night as one its inducements to lure punters through the portals. Liver wasters are 105 baht. The Sea is certainly among the more popular venues with a veritable fleet of dancing damsels. Many, and I mean this in the most charitable way, are real sea dogs (veterans of numerous nautical engagements: they know their way around a few hotel showers in town). Music is typical car alarm but it’s well worth wandering in every now and again to see who’s got the spinnaker up. Two Down for Diamond: The second Diamond ogling den (Soi Diamond) dance contest for 2004 took place on 20 February with 15 damsels representing the local team as well as Big Willies, Carousel, Paris, The Sea (all in Soi Diamond) and Honey (Walking Street) as well as two freelancers competing for a total of 13,000 baht in prize money. In what was another closely fought contest, Miss Gao from Diamond scored her second consecutive victory, downing a well-endowed lass from The Sea with Carousel third. The third-placegetter also won the Miss Flower contest. I’m not too sure how aware of her success she was as she’d ingested enough alcohol to raise the Gross Domestic Product of Finland by a few percent. Off a Carousel: The Carousel ogling den (Soi Diamond) was due to conduct a dance contest on Monday night 23 February with 20,000 baht in prize-money going off in no less than 10 categories, however, it was cancelled at the last minute. According to management, the peelers paid them a visit and unequivocally ‘suggested’ the contest not take place. Watch it My Way: One of the great joys of Walking Street is to sit in a chair at the front of one of the umpteen number of outside beer boozers and watch the passing parade. One stretch of the sandstone-bedded street down in front of the old Red Lion, now the Pompet beer boozer complex, is ideal for a bit of hip and swerve, especially after 11:00PM. One of the boozers nearby is called the My Way, staffed by a mixed and motley crew of genuine females of varying degrees of attractiveness and some not-so-genuine females whose attractiveness or otherwise I shall leave for others to decide. The music was of the techno/car alarm variety, but it suits the time and place and not a hint of a tune resembling the Frank Sinatra hit. On Valentine’s evening I sat and watched the usual collection of males wandering about wearing sunglasses, others with baseball caps on backwards, some with both sunglasses and baseball caps; one with a yachting cap perched atop his melon and dressed in the fashion of a Tunisian admiral. Then there were the two guys attired only in housecoats and rubber flip-flops (thongs to Aussies) who decided a round of push-ups mid-street was in order. And people wonder why we love this joint. Not so Sexy: I’ve made mention of this before in relation to other places, but can somebody please explain how the management of an ogling den employing around 20 dancing damsels, most of average looks and a few veterans, justifies charging 100 baht for house liver wasters? This is the case in the Sexy Soi 8 chrome pole palace. Compare this with, for example, the always top-class Super Baby (Soi Diamond) where libations are 90 baht and the place is packed with lookers. They do have a happy hour, with bottled amber nectar retailing at 70 baht. Here’s Lookin’ Up Your Skirt: Currently employing around 50 chrome pole molesters is the intimate Paris ogling den (Soi Diamond). The place seems to pack out most nights, although in fairness to larger establishments, it’s not hard to do in Paris given seating caters to around 30 or 40 punters. In recent times a number of damsels who used to ply their trade in Living Dolls (Walking Street) have joined the ranks of the Parisians. One feature is the dancers wearing micro-minis (similar to the style now adorning the chrome pole huggers in Diamond, just down the soi), with some girls exhibiting early signs of Alzheimer’s, forgetting to add that little extra apparel to keep the cold out of the nether regions. Here’s A Question For You: Anybody interested in meeting new people and keeping their mind active can spend a couple of hours a night every night between Sunday and Thursday playing in the various quizzes around Fun Town. Sunday’s there is a 10-team home and away competition; the Pig and Whistle (Soi 7) conducts an in-house quiz on Monday’s and Thursday’s; the Bowling Green (off Soi Chaiyapoom) holds one on Tuesday’s and on Wednesday’s there’s a 12-team home and away competition. Admittedly, the vast majority of questions in all these quizzes are geared towards Brits. So if your knowledge extends to who won the (sweet) FA Cup in 1952; played Mrs Hermione Felcherer in some obscure British comedy series of the 1960s or how many Kings of England lost their lives while trying to mate with their horse, then this is for you. Tweaking at the Edges: With almost every ogling den in Pattaya offering happy hours as well as all-night cheap amber fluid in an effort to entice customers through the portals, Club Electric Blue (Walking Street) has gone an extra yard or so. Happy hour with house liver wasters and Thai rotgut at 35 baht still runs from 7:30-8:30PM, but now for the hour afterwards the den offers a buy one get one free promotion. Big Andy has thankfully changed the dancing mode from a bevy of chrome pole molesters hanging onto the same aluminium stiff for a brace of tunes to the traditional Pattaya-style of girls moving up a pole with each new song. Therefore, if you do happen to be stuck in a seat in front of a body you don’t fancy, it’ll only be a song or two before Venus is upon you (well not literally, unless she happens to lose her balance and collapse into your lap). There is one damsel in particular who has a set of lungs capable of being used to re-float the Titanic. Bring out the Huskies: Wandered into The Dollhouse (Walking Street), which is still continuing its happy hour from 7:30-9:00PM with draught amber, house liver wasters, Thai rotgut and lolly water at a cheap 30 baht, and noted the air-conditioning appeared to have been set to a point just below freezing. When I say it was cold, those dancing damsels not on stage were huddled together near a log fire, stamping their feet and wearing see-through anoraks. OK, I’m exaggerating, but they certainly looked as though a layer of jackets wouldn’t have gone amiss. My e-mail address is: nightmarch@hotmail.com Author of Pattaya "Patpong on steroids"

The 3,000 baht a month satellite package include 1.5 gigs of data transfer. Their accounting is a bit wobbly though as I regularly exceed the 1.5 gigs and in 2 years have only been charged for the extra once.

Here are the choices in Pattaya. ADSL is available only in the area close to Beach Rd. It is unlikely, but not impossible that you would get an apartment within this area. Satellite, down, phone up, is the most readily available broadband service and is fairly consistent 256k down 56 k up. Cost is 3,000 baht a month and installation a few days if you already have a phone. ISDN is available within 3km of the central exchange at 112k up and down. It's expensive. Dial up service is readily available throughout Pattaya and a good provider like Loxinfo should see you surfing at a fairly constant 40k or so. Loxinfo will shortly be launching a new 2 way satellite service supposedly at speeds of 1 meg up and down. No costing available yet.

Tantalised by Tina: One of the best tourist attractions in Fun Town is the gender-bender series of shows at the long-running Malibu boozer and noshery, located on the corner of Second Road and Soi Post Office. Watching blokes in a dresses, faces caked in makeup, doing a few high kicks in stilettos or books, flailing their arms like demented fowls with a fence-post shoved up the clacker and grinning in the manner of people who’ve been smoking unusual weed-like matter, may not seem grand entertainment. The lip-synching is about as coordinated as the overdubbing done into English on old black-and-white Italian gladiator movies. This is particularly the case with the Elvis Presley impersonator. Actually, with his dark sunglasses on he looks more like a cross between Elvis and Roy Orbison. The highlight of the show is the three songs performed by ‘Tina Turner’. The man who takes on the persona of the gravel-voiced grandmother of rock has taken a few of her stage mannerisms and made them his own. His facial twitches, parodying Tina Turner, look akin to someone recovering the art of speech after a stroke. The night I went one of the earlier acts had what could be termed a Janet Jackson moment when one lady-boy pulled at the flimsy top of another and, in a classic wardrobe malfunction, the audience were briefly left gaping at a pair of finely tuned silicone breasts. Libations run to around 85-95 baht for bottled amber fluid, 110 baht for liver wasters, but lolly water is reasonable at 30 baht. The Thai fare ranges between 95 and 120 baht. Entertainment begins at 7:00PM, but really begins kicking into gear around 9:00PM and the night I went the joint was packed. If you’ve never seen the show, do yourself a favour and go, just once. If it’s a while since you last saw it, and you’re in need of a good laugh, take the trouble and spend an hour or two in the place. Still Going After All These Years: Recently wandered into Abbe’s, one of Walking Street’s enduring beer boozers. The music is great (Led Zeppelin, U2, Midnight Oil and their ilk) and the front of the bar is a great place to sit and watch the madding crowd. Chang is 60 baht and liver wasters are 80 baht; although my own liver was in no danger of degeneration as I suspect the shot of vodka might somehow have missed my glass. Out in the Cotton Fields: Located off the beaten track in Naklua Soi 12, the Cotton Club is one of those places you don’t just pass by; a little like the Blind Beggar in Jomtien, it’s the type of establishment you decide to visit ahead of time. Tastefully appointed and spacious, the Cotton Club seems to be one of those places trying to be all things to everyone. It opens at sparrow fart (8:00AM), offers munching facilities to the hungry, has the ubiquitous pool table and a dozen or so maidens of various shapes and sizes willing to help you relax. The bar impost of 400 baht for a bit of Sierra Tango entertainment seems overpriced given what’s available elsewhere in Fun Town. The evening I wandered in it was a little quiet, but with a selection of Creedence Clearwater Revival tunes piping through the system at a respectable volume and a couple of friendly female employees prepared to engage in light conversation, I quite liked the joint. Still a Little Purr Left: The last ogling den between Pattaya and Soi Cowboy is Kittens on Naklua Road. The music mix in the chrome pole palace has changed from the last time I was in, and for the better. OK, I’m biased; if I hear Cold Chisel and AC/DC in the one place then I think the music’s good. Lanky Bob still holds court after 10:00PM and with draught amber at 49 baht all night (liver wasters run to 95 baht) and the odd show still happening on stage, it’s worth wandering in to cool down if you happen to be in Germantown. Honey, I Shrunk the Tits: In all its lengthy period of existence in Fun Town, the Honey ogling den (Walking Street) has never been known as a place that employs the stunning end of the dancing maiden spectrum. Although it’s always had a friendly environment the place went downhill in the mid to late 1990s, but over the past 12-18 months the ownership recognised the need to revamp and improve the joint if they were going to stand a chance against the new competition entering Walking Street. Honey now has a fairly strong contingent of chrome pole molesters and comfortable seating; the music seems to vary between good and bad car alarm style and libations run to 50 baht for draught amber and 95 baht for liver wasters. Lady drinks are also 95 baht. Plugged In: Nothing like a free plug. The newly-revised, updated and, more important, expanded, version of my book Pattaya Unplugged has been released and, I’m more than pleased to say, early sales have been really good. Quite a number of the photographs of various signs around Pattaya now no longer exist, including the ‘Ear Picking by Specialist’ the Nang Nual parking sign, and the ‘Victoria Gust House’. Look for the bright red cover with the ‘Come Inside Me Please’ sign emblazoned on the front. It retails at 395 baht and can be found at Bookazine Royal Garden, DK Post Office, DK Central Road as well as a few other outlets and bars or via the internet at www.dcothai.com Eight Up: The eighth edition of the Pattaya Nightlife pocket guide is finally on the streets. After a longer than expected hiatus, the latest edition, which features the Living Dolls ogling den (Walking Street) on its front cover and Kitten Club chrome pole palace (Pattayaland Soi 2) on the back, is being distributed around the more popular sleeping dens in the main region of Pattaya city as well as boozers of all styles. Thai Logic 101: A well-known booze bar operator with a year or so left on his lease was recently approached by the owner of his building who explained that he was having a few dramas with the bank and was he, the bar operator, interested in purchasing the property. A sum of 4 million baht was the price and the operator told the owner he’d let him know in due course. A short time later, confident he could raise the necessary funds, he rang the Thai owner and said, “OK, we’ve got the 4 million.” “Oh, no. Now price is 6 million,” was the reply. Needless to say, no further correspondence has been entered into.

Time, gentlemen, please: According to a report in the Bangkok Post (14 January), it looks as though Fearless Leader has handed Deputy Prime Minister Purely Puritanical and Deputy Interior Minister Preacher Malcontent the poisoned chalice and told them to work out the necessary legislation to reduce closing times for entertainment venues. Preacher Malcontent’s initial proposal, that venues only be allowed to open at 6PM and be closed by Midnight apparently drew opposition from within the ruling clique. So now, it’s back to the drawing board with new proposals to be set in place by 1 March. However, it was the Transport Minister Suriya who hit the nail on the head as far as I’m concerned. He was quoted as saying the real problem was that the law banning underage people from entertainment joints was not being strictly enforced by the plod. He said if the laws had been enforced effectively, then there would be no need to adjust operating hours. Old Habits Die Hard: The Tahitian Queen ogling den (Beach Road) holds the Pattaya record for being the longest-running chrome pole palace in Fun Town. Established in 1978 (the year the Village People had a hit song with ‘In the Navy’ and ‘Hotel California’ won best record at the Grammys), the TQ has become the accepted home base of the Hash House Harriers and the Jesters Motorcycle Club as well as most American ex-pats. To me, it’s always been a better afternoon den than a place to spend an evening. I recently wandered in a few hours after sundown and noticed that only four dancing maidens were on stage at any one time and the only time anything risqué happens is at about 10:00PM when a small clutch remove their bikini tops for a couple of songs. Be still my throbbing heart. TQ has always been well known for its music, and that’s still good, you won’t hear any techno/house/trance in the joint. Outside of happy hour the booze runs to 105 baht for bottled amber and house liver wasters. Make Sure You Bring a Sizeable Wad: Fun Town’s first fetish establishment, called The Cave, opened its rather imposing heavy door for business in late December. Situated on Third Road between the long-running Buffalo body fluid exchange boozer and the Darling dine and dash bar, The Cave specifically caters for those whose tastes in fashion run to whips, chains, PVC, latex, and leather. The place was opened by the same French management who operate a similarly-named fetish joint in Bangkok. The gear, which also includes nurse and schoolgirl uniforms is being supplied by Pattaya’s premier fashion house Boutique Sexy (their showroom is in Naklua Soi 33). In order to get punters in the right sado-masochistic mood, the first drink in the place will set you back 900 baht. All drinks after that are just a trifling 200 baht. The management stress this is not a drinking bar; it is a place for like-minded people to come and indulge in their favourite fantasy. To really keep the screws turning, there is definitely no copulation on the premises, no matter how excited you might get over the sight of a couple of latex-clad damsels beating each other with an overripe cucumber. If you want to engage in something un-natural like sexual intercourse then fork out the 1,500 baht bar fine and take your leather feather duster and your lady back to your place. The Cave has a dress code of which the colour black is one of the necessary component parts. It opens at 5:30PM and closes at 2:00AM and at present has a staff of around 14 dominatrixes/submissives who have been trained by an Englishman. A lady drink is 250 baht, but the bar has a strict policy dissuading damsels from asking for a libation. The choice is completely up to the customer. Before you lot start getting any ideas, and think I’ve joined the pour-hot-candle-wax-over-my-genitals brigade, all this information was supplied to me by the French manager who just happened to be standing outside when I rolled up. I can see this place becoming quite a favourite with retired British politicians, defrocked vicars and Michael Jackson. No animals were harmed in the writing of this piece. Walking Street Fitness Park? The Hooty’s ogling den (Walking Street) still runs a happy hour of 35 baht for draught beer and house liver wasters between 8:00 and 9:00PM. The behind-the-window gym, school or whatever it was with two or three damsels doing very little has long gone; no doubt they’ve been forced into g-strings and told to practice the chrome pole shuffle. They may well employ one of the fittest dancing maidens in Pattaya if an impromptu sideshow I caught recently is anything to go by. After completing her shuffling set, one bikini-clad maiden proceeded to churn out no less than 50 sit-ups on one of the bench seats. She looked to be from Issan and can no doubt boast an ironclad stomach both inside (from regular bowls of som tum) and outside. A room with a pew: A pair of ogling dens, one foreign-owned and the other Thai-run, situated well away from the prime positions in Walking Street currently have their bar fine impost at 500 baht. Nothing unusual about that. However, this applies whether you desire to take the dancing maiden out of the establishment for a bit of a stroll in the fresh night air or simply care to indulge in a short lie down and cavity inspection in one of the upstairs rooms. If you do happen to choose the latter, the den imposes an extra 200 baht for the use of the upstairs facilities. In the foreign-run joint the damsels are asking for a low four-figure sum to accompany you; in the Thai place it’s a high three-figure amount. Given that similar chrome pole palaces further south, although still away from Walking Street, are offering the same short services, but for only 300 baht all-in for the den and then the dancing maiden offers you her deal, it’s a wonder than anybody would be bothering to take up the abridged version in these other establishments. All the Stars are out on Friday: The Shenanigans lounge lizard libation room and noshery (Second Road) has Pop’s Pattaya All Stars band playing on Friday nights from 10:00PM. In order to entice new and old customers through the door for an evening munch, the management has a special 100 baht meal on Tuesday’s between 6 and 9:00PM, while for those more interested in sinking copious amounts of booze it’s happy hour all day on a Monday where draught Heineken is just 65 baht for a half-pint. Plugged In: Nothing like a free plug. The newly-revised, updated and, more important, expanded, version of my book Pattaya Unplugged has been released and, I’m more than pleased to say, early sales have been really good. Quite a number of the photographs of various signs around Pattaya now no longer exist, including the ‘Ear Picking by Specialist’ the Nang Nual parking sign, and the ‘Victoria Gust House’. Look for the bright red cover with the ‘Come Inside Me Please’ sign emblazoned on the front. It retails at 395 baht and can be found at Bookazine Royal Garden, DK Post Office, DK Central Road as well as a few other outlets and bars or via the internet at www.dcothai.com Tales from the Crib: A young English visitor who hails from a place called Ham (I’m told it’s in Surrey) booked into a mid-range sleeping palace in central Pattaya and had his rather heavy suitcase lugged to his room by one of the chambermaids. After entering the room and depositing the bag, she turned to the man and began to reach between his legs in what, in most countries, would be deemed a fairly forward gesture for two people who’d only just become acquainted. Feeling himself aroused by these tender ministrations, he readily agreed to her offer of a little lip service. Some 500 baht later and with a load off his mind, he recounted the tale to his travelling companion who was occupying another room. “But she’s a katoey,” his friend stated matter-of-factly. It appears as though the chambermaid was in fact more the chamberlain, and in his tumescent state the Englishman had failed to notice she was more than a little Ham-fisted.

Snatch and Grab: For pretty much all of the time I’ve been coming to, and then living in, Pattaya I have fervently sung its praises with regard to personal safety. Although I still believe Pattaya is a safe destination for tourists and a peaceful place to live, it is becoming increasingly clear that there has been a paradigm shift, and it’s for the worse. According to a middle-ranking Thai police officer based in Soi 9, muggings are running at around 30 reports a day. He admitted they were catching only four or five offenders. Of course, the majority of offences are being committed by Thais against Thais and the vast bulk of tourists and ex-pats are never affected. Pattaya, by comparison with most resorts around the world, is still a safe destination, but everyone should be more on their guard and try not to wander around looking like they’ve just made a 10-kilogram gold withdrawal from Fort Knox. Basically, if you’ve got it, don’t flaunt it unless you want someone to try and abscond with it. Home in Bed, and Tucked in by Ten: In his New Year’s day address to the multitude, Fearless Leader ran the idea of further pegging back closing times for ogling dens, beer boozers, sierra tango bars, discos and the like to between midnight and 1:00AM. The sop was that he intimated these establishments could open earlier, at around 4:00PM. In Fun Town, closing boozing establishments any earlier would simply mean that most of the late night boogie barns like Tony’s, Marine, X-Zyte, Hollywood and New Palladium would struggle to stay profitable, as these places don’t start to attract much of a crowd before the witching hour. Of course, Fearless Leader has always subscribed to the truth in the nursery rhyme: ‘early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise’. He certainly qualifies on the ‘wealthy’ front anyway. Who Bears, Wins: New Year’s Eve in Fun Town always reminds me of a war zone. There are more explosions than an Allied offensive on the Western Front in the First World War, the smell of sulphur hanging in the air and burning the nostrils. Thinking Soi Diana might be a quieter place to watch the new year roll in, I stationed myself at the Aussie-run Goanna boozer. Like most boozers, the place was full and everybody was in party mode. A group of British soldiers were propping up one end of the boozer and, according to Big Bad John, the genial mine host, had invested 6,000 baht in fireworks. They also purchased a teddy bear from one of the itinerant carts and proceeded to give a practical demonstration of the power of clusters of small explosives. After searing the outside of the teddy bear, they later shoved a fistful of explosive combustibles up its clacker and reduced it to an oversized cotton ball. A little later, one of the Poms dressed up in female attire (for a 10-baht bet); should be another good year in Pattaya. Now that’s a Bar Fine: The Christmas/New Year period saw the usual increases in bar fines for dancing maidens and serving wenches by ogling dens keen to dissuade over-eager punters from prising their star performers away from the delights of the chrome pole. However, it seems as though the imposts went from the sublime to the almost ridiculous with reports that a few of Walking Street’s finest were asking 2,000 baht before the witching hour. The logic of bar owners is understandable. If all your best, and even some of your worst, dancing damsels have been paid off to accompany tumescent punters on a night of boozing and carousing elsewhere, then that’s the end of your walk-in trade for the evening and you may as well shut up shop and go home. I find it amazing that anyone, no matter how full of booze or wanton lust, would be desperate enough to outlay 2,000 baht for a bar fine and then the probable 2-3,000 baht that the dancing damsel would no doubt be asking as her remittance for servicing rendered. While on the subject, it’s noticeable that many dancers in the classier ogling dens are now starting out asking for 2,000 baht and, in the cases of so-called ‘superstars’ up to and beyond 3,000 baht, for the pleasure of their company. The reason prices have now shot so high is there are men out there stupid enough to pay. Empirical evidence suggests that in many cases the girls are a disappointment in the horizontal folk dancing stakes and not worth anywhere near the fee they’re asking. No Star’s Out Tonight: Pattaya’s smallest ogling den, the Dog Star, oops…I meant New Star (Soi Diamond) looks more like an afterthought than a truly determined attempt to create a cutting edge chrome pole palace. On the plus side, the bench seating is comfortable and there’s a huge screen TV against the back wall, a legacy of the days when the place was part of the adjoining beer boozer. On the downside, although draught amber is 55 baht and lady drinks (in a proper glass) are 85 baht, lolly water retails at 85 baht and liver wasters 95. Most of the serving wenches have all the personality of prison warders and the 15-20 dancing maidens are either long term veterans or carrying a little extra around the girth, although reasonably friendly. My Little Dark Ling: Out on Third Road the former Pretty Woman sierra tango boozer has undergone a refit and transmogrified into the Darling body fluid exchange bar. Nicely kitted out, the place has a slightly strange pricing policy considering it’s just a bra strap’s throw away from the long-running and ever-popular Buffalo boozer. On the plus side the impost paid to the boozer to dabble with a darling of your choice is just 300 baht (compared with the Buffalo’s 400 baht, plus a lady drink before midnight), but their standard liquid refreshments are around 10 baht more pricey than their closest rival for the fondling baht. Lady drinks in Darling are 80 baht; in Buffalo they’re just 70. When they re-opened it appeared as though the majority of the working wenches were fresh from the paddy fields, the English language being a mysterious tongue to their ears. More liquid means more fun: The Club Electric Blue ogling den (Walking Street) increased the price of lady drinks from 100 to 120 baht in mid-December. The justification was that the dancing maidens now have a wine glass filled with wine cooler instead of a glob of coke. Big Andy claims the dancers are now getting inebriated and customers are having more fun with them. One thing I’m not keen on in Club Electric Blue is the Bangkok-style dance turns. The girls don’t move; OK, we know that’s a common problem in almost every ogling den. What I mean, is that they take up a position behind a chrome pole and don’t move from pole to pole in a progression as each song changes. In other words, if you walk in and happen to sit in front of Miss Fat Bottom, then she’s the only one you’re going to be eyeballing until the next bevy of dancers moves into position. Then you could be stuck with Miss Stick Insect. The Dollhouse ogling den (Walking Street) does the same, but because most of the dancers are on a revolving stage, punters get to see the majority of the girls as they swing past. A New Inn: The former Watering Hole beer boozer (Soi Skaw Beach) was sold a few months ago, completely and tastefully renovated and re-named the New Inn. Hardly a stroke of cogent nomenclature, but the English owner explained that the first pub he frequented back in the Old Dart was named the New Inn and most people from the Land of Baths Full of Coal can relate to the name. With five rooms for rent upstairs, a pool table and reasonably-priced libations, it’s set to do a comfortable trade once the new owners can establish a regular clientele. The one striking feature that sets this boozer apart from many others is the huge painting behind the bar. It’s worth wandering in for a quiet drink just to admire the canvas.

No decision on allowing casinos in Thailand has been made yet. If they decide to allow them, then Pattaya will probably get one of the first ones. They have been talking about this for years and so far that is all they do. Personally I think it would be bad for Pattaya so I hope they keep on talking for another 20 years.

The place was gutted and completely re-done. i have not heard any reports on what its like now though.

Yahoo do not allow you to link from their site to another site. If you want to use a pic as an avatar, you are better off uploading it to the gallery. See Frequently Asked Questions board in the members section for details. http://www.freelancerbar.com/cgi-bin/yabb/...;num=1013285959

travelling Read the post at the top of the Members Bar in the members section entitled a new web site for Christmas.

Cato You are NOT a member which is why you can't see the members section. Joining is a two step process. 1st step is to register for the open forum. You have done that and are registered. The second step is to apply for access to the members area. You have not done that or if you have then your application was rejected for some reason. When you are accepted you get a long email from the webmaster explaining how the system works. People with access to the members area have the word Member, directly under their User Id on every post. If you look through the posters here you will see most are already members but you are not. Go to www.pattayapages.com/joinmembers.html and follow the instructions in step 2.

You need an email address that clearly originates from outside of Thailand. Most members use their ISP accounts to apply for membership but their hotmail (or whatever) when registering.

Out of the Rumour Mill: I’ve been told of a rumour that ogling dens which open before 6:00PM are due to be forced to close their doors as they do not have a licence to operate in daylight hours. Supposedly this new rule came into effect on Monday 15 December, but as I wandered aimlessly about Fun Town the following afternoon, all the usual suspects were in full swing. Another rumour, told to me by an ogling den manager, concerns the Thai government’s intention of compelling all ex-pat’s to return to their country of origin to renew their visa. Supposedly this new twist of the ex-pat tail is due to be announced sometime in 2004. Bonanza for Lucky Punters: The New Palladium late night boogie barn (Second Road, past Big C in North Pattaya) will be conducting a special promotion all through January. If you go to the disco with your wife/girlfriend/female then you’ll receive a numbered ticket with each drink you purchase. The tickets go into a lucky draw and every night a few numbers are pulled out and the holders of the winning numbers can win stereos, TV’s, fridges and even a motor bike. All libations in Palladium are 120 baht, with the spacious barn opening at 9:00PM and rocking on until 2:00AM. Shows commence at 10:00PM. Well worth a look as long as you can handle loud music. No Oranges and Lemons: I don’t know what it is with the French, but when they open a joint, be it an ogling den, beer boozer or dine and dash establishment, most of them tend to do it with some class and style. This is certainly the case with the Mandarin hide-the-salami happy house (Soi 6) that opened its doors last November. Red is the predominant colour, both inside and outside, while the small glass-ceiling dance floor is reminiscent of the Baccara ogling den in Soi Cowboy in Bangkok. The dance floor seems to have a magnetic attraction for some of the what-your-name maidens; and I’d hate to think of how many punters sitting downstairs see their blood pressure go through the roof. Not a sight for those weak of heart. Carlsberg draught is 50 baht, lolly water 60 baht, liver wasters 90 baht and lady drinks 80 baht. If you fancy a short lie down, sleeping facilities are available for 300 baht. Bless ‘em all, the long and the short and the tall: The Bamboo arthritis-is-us late night shuffle auditorium in South Pattaya Road is one of those places that’s resisted the urge to go all fluoro and techno, preferring instead to attract the sort of crowd for whom the 72 rpm vinyl record was the apotheosis of modern industrial invention. For anyone familiar with Aussie R.S.L.’s or British Workingmen’s Clubs, the Bamboo provides the sort of entertainment favoured by those who still believe Saturday Night Fever and the revolving silver ball over the dance floor are the height of cool, although it is lacking in poker machines and bingo tables. I actually love this establishment; a perfect place to bring someone of pensionable age (although those pushing a Zimmer frame might find it hard to get to a seat) for a good night out with familiar music and a friendly, informal atmosphere. Most libations run to between 65 and 75 baht and the place is usually packed from about 10:00PM onwards, especially at the weekend. If the local plod ever raided this joint and asked revellers to provide a urine sample for an illegal substance test they’d find half the male customers are in need of prostate surgery (drip, drip, drip) and the only pills the females are taking are menopausal stimulants. Withering on the Vine: Pattayaland Soi 2 continues to look as though the undertakers will soon be called in to cart away a few of the rotting bodies while a modern-day Hieronymous Bosch paints the grisly scene. Although the street is lit up like a giant Exxon sign, it’s practically pedestrian free. Of course, places like Blue Parrot, Cheers, Palmers, Shamrock and Viking Beachcomber have been operating in the soi since Taksin was a boy and will no doubt continue to do well. The Classroom ogling den, which celebrated 10 years of operation recently, has its regulars and is probably doing the best of the play palaces but just across the road, in Planet Rock, they must be feeling the pinch. I wandered in late on a weekend night just recently and counted no more than five customers. They offer draught amber fluid at 69 baht in a happy hour that lasts until 11:00PM, but most libations are 99 baht. Lady drinks, a splash of lolly water that could evaporate in the time it took Buddy Holly to sing ‘Rave On’, are over-priced at 119 baht. They’ve also got a bog boy lurking in the bathroom armed with a wet towel and a surly look. I’d like to respectfully suggest to management that the majority of customers in a chrome pole palace are quite capable of unzipping their own fly, steering Stanley to the Stainless Steel, and turning on a tap to wash their hands, unaided. When I went to heed the call of nature one of the five customers in the den had gone before me and was berating the bog boy, telling him he didn’t need his neck rubbed while he was concentrating on more important matters. Still, the music is good, the layout is spacious and if the dancing maidens are not exactly in the Elite Model class, they’re easy enough on the eye. Cheese and Chalk: I have no doubt that a number of ogling den (and for that matter, beer boozer) operators need to get out from under their cash register and spend some time looking at what their opposition are doing. One of the leading ogling dens in Fun Town is Super Girls in Soi Diamond. Wander inside and you will not be using the words ‘stunning’ and ‘buffalo’ in the same sentence. With around 10 chrome pole molesters cavorting on stage at any one time, plus another 30 or 40 waiting in the wings for their turn, you’re in danger of optical burnout. Thirst quenchers run at a very reasonable 90 baht. The downside is that the dancing maidens think their fecal matter smells like eau de cologne and seem to regard most customers as not much better than pond scum. One or two did smile, although they may actually having been passing scented wind. However, Super Girls is a positive den of enlightenment compared with the newly revamped and re-opened Susie ogling den in Soi 4. On the night I wandered in there were three (count them: 1,2,3) females masquerading as dancers and I was told liver wasters went off at 120 baht. In my last missive I wished them well in what is a difficult location. Unless some very radical changes are made to both dancing girl numbers and the prices of thirst quenchers, I doubt the place will attract more than a passing Arab oil sheik or an inscrutable of lost Japanese tourists. Corrections: As Alzheimer’s begins to take charge of my few remaining brain cells I fear I’ll be writing the word ‘corrections’ more and more. So, before the nurse plunges her needle into my nether regions, let me clear a couple of mistakes from the last missive- First: The X-Ray ogling den (Soi Zero), ably managed by the Dutch Bandido, celebrated its first anniversary on 17 December- not the 12th- as I wrote in the last issue. Libations in X-Ray are very reasonable with Carlsberg draught amber at 45 baht all night and vodka at 65 baht, while the music is better than most places and the chrome pole molesters and the serving wenches definitely leaning towards friendly. Second: In my last report I noted that the former New Buffalo Grill is now called Le Petit Liegeois, which to my Antipodean eyes reads very much like French. Since the extent of my French is ‘champagne’ and ‘escargot’, I think I could be forgiven for not recognising that ‘Liegeois’ was somehow related to the city of Liege, as was pointed out to me by an alert reader. Liege is actually in eastern Belgium. Third: Actually this is not my fault. The Jake Needham book signing set down for 21 December in the Royal Garden Bookazine store was postponed until a date in January. As of going to press I have not been informed as to just when it will be. My e-mail address is: nightmarch@hotmail.com Author of Pattaya "Patpong on steroids" No reproduction without specific reference to: nightmarch@hotmail.com

Nothing against your site Gabor and I've let you plug it fairly heavily here. I don't like seeing old threads continually pushed to the top. If I see that then I often lock them to prevent it. If it requires further discussion then a new thread is better.

Go to the FAQ. The first board in the members forum. Click on "How to upload photos and the rules ". If you are computer savy then its pretty simple. I will be changing the whole system in a week or so, so if you are a slow learner you might like to wait. The new system will be much easier.

Hi Mike If you think about it I am sure you can come up with the answer. If you want to join just pop into FLB and talk to Ben or me and I am sure we can sort something out. Pete

The Dance Contest of the Year: The Diamond ogling den (Soi Diamond, off Walking Street) will be holding its final inter-chrome pole palace dance contest for the year on Friday night 19 December, starting at around 9:30PM. These monthly contests have become increasingly popular and usually by about 11:00PM it’s a case of standing room only. The 12th contest, held on 14 November, featured dancers from Big Willies and Vixens (both in Soi Diamond), Honey, Polo, Living Dolls and Club Electric Blue (all in Walking Street) and Classroom (Pattayaland Soi 2). The 5,000 baht first prize went to a dancer from Living Dolls, second place to Diamond and in third position was Club Electric Blue. One of the pair of contestants from the Honey den took out the Miss Flower contest. Just sign on the dotted line: The well-known Bangkok-based American writer Jake Needham, author of the best-selling The Big Mango, will be appearing in person at the Royal Garden bookstore of Bookazine (Second Floor) for a talk about the great Bangkok novel and a book signing on Sunday 21 December, kicking off at 4:00PM. To entice interested persons through the door, Bookazine will give away 50 copies of The Big Mango to the first 50 persons to attend the signing. If you haven’t read a copy of The Big Mango I can recommend it as a good way to relax on the beach, at the pool or whenever you feel like getting away from the reality of Fun Town. Second Edition: The Pattaya A-Go-Go Calendar has been selling so fast that a second edition of the glossy wall-hanging has been produced. It’s my understanding that photographs have been changed, although the damsels flaunting their wares and the participating chrome pole palaces remain the same. Basically, anyone who has a copy of the first edition now has a collector’s item; the new version will also retail at just 250 baht and is available from places like Bookazine Royal Garden, Big C and Jomtien as well as DK Books in Soi Post Office and Central Road and participating ogling dens. A Fun B.J.: The former Top Secret I’m-not-quite-sure-what-I-am boozer was closed down around a year ago because it was selling more happy pills than liquid refreshments. However, on 15 December, the plushly-appointed joint re-opened as the B.J. Fun sports emporium and relaxation centre. Located right next door to the Tahitian Queen II ogling den in Soi B.J. (hence the interesting cognomen), the B.J. Fun boozer opens for business at 2:00PM with a happy hour featuring draught amber at 50 baht all day and night. Apart from showing all major sporting events on large screen TV’s and catering to pool aficionados, the air-conditioned boozer will also be employing a raft of comely lasses to help relieve the pressures of living in a stressful environment like Pattaya. Mention this column and according to the manager, you’ll cop a 10 percent discount on your drinks for that night. Cut It Out: Observant perambulators to Walking Street may have noticed that the alluring sign above the Living Dolls Showcase ogling den was recently changed. I’m told the local plod, probably acting on orders from the Pattaya Reputation Saving Committee, Inappropriate Signage Department, launched a dawn raid on the offending sign and cut out the photos of the young dancing damsels. From memory, the photos showed little more than the girls’ faces and bare shoulders; you can see more revealing photos almost every day in copies of the Thai Rath newspaper. Talking of raids, Big Andy’s birthday party at Club Electric Blue was visited by the local peelers who tested a number of the dancing maidens for illegal substance abuse. Thankfully (for Andy and his management) none of the lasses had been indulging in banned products and all tested negative. Nevertheless, the effect of the raid was to put a dampener on celebrations, so Andy simply had another birthday party a few days later. Five Finger Exercise: The FLB lounge lizard libation room (Walking Street) will be celebrating its fifth anniversary with a party on Christmas Eve; that’s 24 December for all atheists, Muslims, Hindus, Rastafarians and Balloon Chasers. The usual farmyard animals will be slaughtered and served up as part of the traditional free party buffet. For more information it’s worth checking out the popular FLB website at www.flbbar.com Saw Through a Year: The X-Ray ogling den (Soi Zero; opposite Bruno’s) will celebrate it’s first anniversary on 12 December. The Dutch Bandido is still performing the meeting and greeting duties and the play palace has gradually garnered a small but loyal following. Sad to report that Lek, well-known to many Fun Town locals and regulars as the proprietor of Classroom 2000 (Soi 2) as well as X-Ray, had to go into hospital for surgery and was operated on earlier this month. All her friends wish her a speedy and complete recovery. New Renovations: The Susie ogling den (cnr Soi 4 and Beach Rd) had yet another re-opening earlier this month after undergoing a few internal modifications. It becomes the 51st play palace in Pattaya. I wish them well in what is a difficult location to attract custom as well as chrome pole molesters. New Operating Hours: The Spicy Girls Too ogling den (in gender-confused Pattayaland Soi 1) now opens for alcohol intake at 6:00PM with a happy hour that runs until 8:00PM serving draught amber and house liver wasters at 60 baht. Always a friendly joint, it’s worth putting on your list of dens to visit when away from the temptations of Walking Street. Blink and You’ll Miss It: Talk about making use of available space; this is almost unbelievable. The latest addition is the 25th ogling den in Walking Street and the eighth in Soi Diamond and is named New Star (right next door to The Sea chrome pole palace). Forget about trying to swing the proverbial cat in the joint, if you happen to be any taller than a circus midget, suffer from claustrophobia or your nickname is something like Sir Cumference, then you might find this place a little uncomfortable. Of course, if you like to be up close and very personal, with everybody, then this could be just the place for you. Can’t be Bothered Cooking: Although it is astoundingly cheap to eat out in Fun Town, there are times when you just can’t be bothered to walk out the front door just to go for a feed. If you’re like me and your best efforts at gourmet nosh involve two pieces of brown bread and a toaster, then help is at hand. The entrepreneurial Dave and Des have combined their first initials and created a company called Door 2 Door, a professional operation supplying some of the best grub Fun Town has to offer, delivered right to your door. Door 2 Door operate from an office in Soi Lengkee and have enlisted 14 munching dens to provide food from their a la carte menus and the range covers everything from English, Thai, German, Indian, Italian, Japanese, Mexican, Scandinavian and Swiss as well as seafood. The management have distributed their menus around Fun Town, but if you can’t find one then just call Door 2 Door on 038 720 222 and a delivery driver will drop one off to your place without charge or obligation. Where’d That Buffalo Go? The former New Buffalo Grill noshery, which used to occupy the corner of Soi Chaiyapoom and Soi Buakhow (next to The Lobby munching den and occasional boozer), has resurfaced in the newly-opened Carrefour shopping trolley centre on Central Road. It has been re-named Le Petit Liegeois, so there is no doubting its French allegiance. None and Buckley’s: Ian, a man who hails from a place called Buckley in north Wales (I didn’t think the principality was large enough to warrant having a ‘north’ part) and a relative newcomer to the delights of Fun Town, made the mistake of wandering into the OK Corral beer boozer (Soi Skaw Beach). I say ‘mistake’ because the following story was related to me by mine host Denis the Menace, always a good source of interesting anecdotes. Future visitors to Fun Town be warned, lest you wind up on the pages of this column. It appears as though Ian found himself lured behind the stage in the Malibu gender-bender show boozer (Soi Post Office) and was somehow convinced by a lady-boy to let ‘her’ apply makeup to his rough visage. Alcohol may have been a contributing factor. The lady-boy removed ‘her’ top while applying the makeup, showing off a fine pair of silicone-enhanced mammaplasties. According to Denis, Ian told him, “I knew it was a bloke…but I got a hard-on.” We understand Ian, after all you’re from Wales. My e-mail address is: nightmarch@hotmail.com Author of Pattaya "Patpong on steroids" No reproduction without specific reference to: nightmarch@hotmail.com

You have to register first. Just click on register and follow the instructions. Once you are registered you will see a link - Add a New Hotel. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Adding a review is easy but there is a couple of things you should know. Firstly, you must be registered to add a review. Registering is a simple one step process. Just click on register and follow the instructions. If you wish to add a review to a hotel that is already listed. go to that hotels reviews and click Post a Review, or Post a Reply. Just fill in the relevant boxes. If some information in the hotel listing is incorrect, include the correct info in your review. The administrator will change it in the hotel listing. If the hotel you wish to review is not yet listed, you must add a listing for it first. Click on Add a New Hotel in the top menu. Fill in as much info as you can. If you do not know something, say the Phone Number, just leave it blank. We will add it later if we can find it. Please do make sure the Hotel is NOT ALREADY LISTED before adding a new listing. Also be careful to select the correct category. If you have photos of the hotel you can upload them by clicking on Browse. Once you have put in as much info as you have, click on submit. Your hotel will now appear in the appropriate category. You can now add a first review. Once a hotel listing has been saved, only the administrator can change it or the associated pictures. If you would like to see something changed, or add some photos, email them to reviews@pattayapages.com

Tis The Season: The crowds have come back to Fun Town with a vengeance in the past couple of weeks with most boozers, nosheries and sleeping palaces reporting a significant upswing in trade. Beer boozers from Walking Street to Naklua are looking busier, although the ones that are doing really well seem to be those who have done the hard yards in recent years and cultivated a loyal, repeat clientele. On the ogling den front it is noticeable that some places are doing extraordinarily well, while others appear to be struggling to get significant numbers of punters through the door. In some cases this is for good reason; in others it seems as though the fickle finger of fate is yet to start tapping on the cash register. For example, the Peppermint and Super Baby ogling dens (Walking Street and Soi Diamond respectively) are packed to the gunwales almost every night and yet some of their competitors, just a draught beer away, are lucky if more than a half dozen seats are being warmed by paying customers. Peppermint has a show of especial interest to the many lepidopterists who no doubt make Pattaya their home for the high season. The dancing maidens don fluorescent butterfly wings and very little else, flapping about the chrome poles like moths in search of a bar fine. In Super Baby one of the shows tends to be of a more earthy variety, appealing more to the feminine side of the male character as up to eight chrome pole molesters discard their flimsy attire and explore each others intimate parts with their tongues, and hardly a word is spoken. Well done England: The recently completed Rugby Union World Cup series proved a bonanza for a great clutch of beer boozers, sports emporiums, and nosheries around Fun Town, especially when equal favourites England made it through to the final against defending champions Australia. The 22 November final saw places as varied as Shenanigans (Second Road), The Sportsman (Soi 13), Rosie O’Grady’s (Soi 7) and Stars In Your Eyes (Soi 7), to name just a few, full to the brim with supporters of both sides. I watched the final in The Sportsman Pub in Soi 13, where the atmosphere was terrific. I would estimate that about 30 percent of the crowd were cheering for the home side (including yours truly) with the remainder vociferous in urging on the English. The management of the Sportsman laid on free snacks at the half-time break, a much appreciated gesture, and when that fellow Wilkinson popped over a drop goal just a few seconds from the end of extra time to give England a sensational victory, the place erupted. As one Englishman said to me, “It was a pity there had to be a loser, it was such a good game.” I agree, although on balance I think England did play the better of the two sides and deserved the win. No more Mary Jane specials: Further to the closure of the Giligin’s ogling den in gender-confused Pattayaland Soi 1, it appears that the main reason was the price the owner of the building was asking to renew the three-year lease. It’s my understanding the amount being requested was far in excess of what the operators of the Giligin’s den considered reasonable, so they refused. Rumour has it that they will return in the new year in search of suitable premises in Walking Street. Change in the happy hour order: The management of the Spicy Girls ogling den (Pattayaland Soi 1) have decided to change their long-running happy hour regime. All amber fluid (bottles only; the den has never had draught) is now 60 baht (except for the imported nectar) and house liver wasters are 70 baht between 7:00 and 9:00PM. Many of the former Giligin’s chrome pole molesters are now ensconced in Spicy and the music continues to be better than, and different to, the majority of ogling dens. Packing ‘em in at Polo: The Polo non-stop show den (Walking Street) is packing them in from the opening bell (7:00PM) although the vast majority of punters are of North Asian appearance and have been released from their air-conditioned monster tour bus and herded, lemming-like, down Walking Street and up the stairs into the relative safety of the boozer. Nevertheless, the shows are entertaining and different and well worth catching, with booze prices at 120 baht for most standard libations. On Saturday 15 November, the show palace played host to 10 Bangkok fashion models who strutted their stuff on stage in a variety of glad rags and alluring apparel. The show commenced around midnight and went on for around 45 minutes. According to management, it is planned to conduct these shows once a week. Cliff Richard would go red: Another of Fun Town’s show bars is Living Dolls Showcase (Walking Street), and this place is also packing out most nights with a series of somewhat lengthy cameos performed by some of Pattaya’s better looking chrome pole molesters. One show involves the profligate use of soap suds, and at the rate this joint goes through washing powder I think it would be worth investing in shares in the company that makes this product. If stocks of washing powder happen to run low in Foodland, you’ll now know why. After the soapy show it takes no less than three ‘cleaning’ ladies to soak up the residue, thus Living Dolls can boast of having the cleanest stage and shiniest chrome poles in all of Pattaya. As with all show bars, that song ‘Zombie’ gets a workout: ‘It’s like 1916/in your head/in your head/zombie/zombie…’ I suppose I should be thankful I missed ‘Hotel California’. Captain Picard seems to be in total control of the ship now, as it appears as though part-owner Alan Ladd may be asked by the authorities in Hong Kong to continue to help them with their inquiries regarding the strange case of a rather large amount of Indian rupees he was allegedly trying to offload in the Chinese-controlled territory. You’ll Never Walk Alone: Another of Pattaya’s longest-running ogling dens, Carousel (Soi Diamond), is continuing with its the dance and show concept. The dancing maidens cavort around the revolving stage for a few nondescript tunes and then toddle off to the bleachers leaving the field free for a clutch of showgirls in various themed outfits to strut their stuff for a few more record spins. Thirst quenching prices have crept up to 110 baht for most liquids involving alcohol, but with tourists swelling the ranks of locals this is the time to take advantage of the free-spending holiday makers. The seating at the entrance to the joint has been remodelled and now features benches and the serving bar has been shortened, thereby giving more room to fit in more imbibers. Third Time Lucky? Unbeknownst to most visitors, Pattaya has a number of ‘black holes’. These are places that just never seem to do well as business venues, no matter who operates them or what kind of shingle is hung outside the door. At present every one of these ‘black holes’ is currently up and running and most will probably survive the high season. Whether they will prosper is another matter. One of these ‘black holes’ is the building about half-way down on the left hand side of Soi Marina Plaza. In the past year alone it has been known as the Feigling Pub, starting as a late night boogie barn and then metamorphosing into an ogling den with table dancers and then finally once more becoming an after-midnight hangout called, simply, X. On 8 November a new late night boogie barn opened its doors on the spacious premises. Named Party Zone it is under German ownership and management, but there’s not an oompah band in sight; lederhosen might not be so scarce a commodity however. The head bangers hedonistic paradise flogs off Carlsberg and Heineken at 99 baht and the action kicks off at 9:30PM every night and they have what they term an ‘ear pounding’ sound system playing hip hop (ghetto), house (rave) and 2 Step (underground). I always thought the 2 Step was akin to the Lambeth Walk and ballroom dancing: something your grandfather did with your grandmother when they were too old to bother with anything horizontal. Go Fly A Kite: The Pattaya A-Go-Go Bar Calendar has been selling so fast that a reprint is already in the works and one anecdote regarding the glossy wall hanging concerns the Thai lady who purchased two at once to send to her boyfriend back in Germany. She stated, quite matter-of-factly, that she was sending them to him so he wouldn’t be tempted to stray while back in the Land of Bratwurst and Sausage and would instead confine himself to onanistic activities with the pictures in the calendars serving as visual stimulation.

I forgot to pin it so it fell to the bottom of the board. I've fixed it now. You can get copies of the other calendar at the bars involved which off the top of my head include Mistys, Whats Up and Champion.

Sars can not "be back" because it never was in Thailand in the first place. A flu vaccination may be a good idea because far more people die from the flu every month than have ever died from sars.

When I changed the settings it did not delete existing signatures. As I see them and as time allows I am deleting them. For those that have them, it would be hepful if you deleted them yourself.