PattayaPete

Lucky for some: Charlie and Lek, the operators of the Lek boozer and eclectic music room (Soi 7), are celebrating (is that really the right word?) 13 years of marital bliss with a party on Sunday night April 20. Lek’s famous beef stew will be served to all imbibers and well-wishers. The Anzac Day dance contest: Tee, the owner of the Diamond ogling den (Soi Diamond, Walking Street) has scheduled the sixth in his series of successful dance contests for Friday night, April 25. Although Tee didn’t know it, for Aussies and Kiwis, this date is significant as each year on April 25 these two nations commemorate the many men and women who gave their lives in warfare. The date itself marks the beginning of the failed assault on the Gallipoli peninsula in the First World War. Don’t expect dancing maidens in Akubra hats (with or without corks to keep the flies away) or dressed in sheepskin (I think I just heard a collective sigh from all the New Zealanders), in fact if past contests are anything to go by then the motto of these affairs could easily be ‘where less is better’. The fifth contest was taken out by a dancer representing the Honey ogling den (Walking Street), with well-known freelancer Linda coming second and a chrome pole molester from the new Lolipop play palace (Soi 2) finishing a close third. The contest is scheduled for 9:30 p.m. but, this being Thailand, will probably get underway by 10:00 p.m. Cheaper way to get the blues: The highly acclaimed Blues Factory (Soi Lucky Star, off Walking Street) is continuing with its two-for-one happy hour on liver wasters between 9:00 and 10:30 p.m. For those who want to see Thai legend Lam Morrison in action, Wednesday night is the time to go and management also have a lucky number draw for all patrons. However, be warned: Lam is likely to play ‘Hotel California’ and there are now male bathroom attendants looking for a bit of copper to help you wash your hands. Just a little squirt: According to one of my regular informants, the chrome pole hugging activities at the Peppermint ogling den (Walking Street) were delayed for about an hour on Friday March 28 when the local plod decided to check the ID cards of the dancing maidens and then tested the said maidens for drug use by getting them to provide urine samples. My informant said, ‘As each test was found to be negative, a cheer went up from the audience of young ladies and the whole procedure was carried out in a good humour. The police departed without apparently finding any criminals.’ You number one for me: The Number One beer boozer, located in the small soi between Central Road and Soi 7, opened for business at the beginning of March and mamasan Wun seems to have the right idea about running a small ale house. The reception committee in some beer boozers around town tends to consist of “hello, what you drink?” and then, after the glass or bottle appears in front of you, the serving wenches either sit and stare into the deep void of outer space, continue munching away on fried dung beetles or simply turn their backs and watch Thai television. So, it’s nice to wander into a boozer where the staff are friendly, come over for a chat and are not pushy for drinks. This is the case in Number One. The boozer has comfortable lounge chairs and with bottled amber fluid at 60 baht and lolly water at 30 baht it’s not straining on the wallet. With some attractive wenches (at least when I went in) it’s worth wandering into when campaigning down around Soi 7 and 8. Once was enough: To be fair, I’ve only wandered in once in recent times, specifically Wednesday March 26, but it will take a lot to get me back again. I’m talking about the Vixens ogling den (Soi Diamond). On Wednesday night’s the den offers all libations at just 65 baht, including lady drinks, between 8:00 p.m. and 11:00 p.m. Draught amber fluid is 55 baht all night. There were around 15 chrome pole shufflers, most wearing those white short skirts that always remind me of the curtains usually found adorning kitchen windows. Mind you, there are a number of other ogling dens that also allow their dancers to be so dreadfully attired. Most of the dancing maidens were clearly supporting children, some of whom could easily be already in high school and the DJ was playing selections from that bargain-bin CD 101 Tunes No-one Has Ever Heard Before (or wants to again). There were no other customers. The pity is that when the current management took over a couple of years ago, they remodelled the interior and had the chrome pole molesters decked out in fine style; some really were Vixens and the place was deservedly popular. Unfortunately, for reasons unknown to me, the place now has the look of a third-rate gin palace and it seems as though the owners have lost interest in making it work. Overpriced and overrated: According to the monthly (or thereabouts) e-mail missive issued by The Clinic sports emporium on Soi Yamato, the Tim ogling den (Second Road) is charging 1,000 baht for punters to take dancers from the chrome pole palace before midnight. After the clock strikes 12 the impost drops to a ‘mere’ 700 baht. If this is correct it’s a wonder anyone bothers, especially as the last time I was in the dancing maidens were an average looking lot. I’m a dancer, my dear, not a common strumpet: The Pattaya Chrome Pole Molesting Collective has issued the following memorandum to those dancing maidens who are wavering when potential customers baulk at paying them 2,000 baht or more for a long time in their esteemed company. ‘You may be fat or ugly or old- or all three- and a man can pay the same amount for a young, beautiful and slim lady, but you must remember you are a dancer. You are not some common girl serving behind the counter of a lowly beer bar. Even if you were once just a serving girl at a beer bar who would spend an evening with a foreigner for just 500 baht, you are now a dancer and even if you do look like your g-string will disappear like a rattlesnake in a ravine at the next gyration, the customer has seen your body and has decided you are the one for him. Stick it to him sisters and do not budge when demanding a fair price for your maidenhead!!’ My e-mail address is: nightmarch@hotmail.com Author of Pattaya "Patpong on steroids" No reproduction without specific reference to: nightmarch@hotmail.com nightmarch@hotmail.com

Paul Your photos are stored under your user name (I_Love_Los), not your display name. Pete

Your right landy2. Mr Leeroy, you should join the members board - it's free.

There is a lot of discussion on this topic in the members area. To access it you need to join. Click the link at the top of the page where it says Click Here to Join the Members Board, and follow the instructions. Pete

The devil made me do it: Almost from the moment it opened its doors, the Diablo Diskotek (Walking Street) has proved to be a popular alternative to places like Tony’s and the evergreen Marine (both in Walking Street) for head bangers and jitterbug aficionados. Thirst quenchers are not cheap, with the amber nectar at 150 baht and lolly water 100 baht, but the disco is spacious and not too loud, while the front area has a good live band and, when they’re on a break, the music is good Top 40 dance style, tunes that almost everyone whose watched any sort of MTV in the last six months will be familiar with. An extra ‘x’: It seems as if the management of the Soi 8 ogling den (where else but in Soi 8 ) finally realised they were getting close to being shut down for good with their behind-closed-doors-anything-goes-for-north-Asian-tourist-shows, and the chrome pole palace recently re-badged itself and is now known as Sexxy Girls. It has reopened to the general public rather than attempting to lure the Chinese, Japanese, and Koreans. Draft amber fluid is 59 baht, liver wasters 89 baht and lady drinks a fair 85 baht with a tasty plate of peanuts supplied to each table. The music was far too loud, either the Thai DJ is deaf (more than likely) or he was trying to attract imbibers from as far away as Walking Street, but it was varied. The waitresses performed the now de rigeur act of pressuring customers to either purchase a lady drink for the damsel lurking nearby or quaff a 100 baht shot of tequila. The den had around 15 or so dancing maidens, some I recognised as veterans from places further south. Not an Aston Martin in sight…yet: The new management of the Goldfingers ogling den (Soi 7) recently completed the first part of their expansion of the play palace. There is still a lot more work to be done, especially regarding the recruitment of more chrome pole molesters, but in the hope of enticing customers across the portal there is a happy hour between 7:00 p.m. and 9:00 p.m. with local bottles of amber fluid retailing at 50 baht. The den also has imported cans of that wonderful liquid Victoria Bitter, better known to all Aussies simply as VB, for 130 baht. Now that’s a beer. On the way out: The beer boozers, Sierra Tango joints and odd noshery located along Soi 6/1 are already being knocked down and are set to be replaced by shop-houses. The place that will be missed the most by diners will probably be Street Kitchen, the rustic-style Thai nosh house run by the well-known and popular Panya. I’m told she’s moving her operation to somewhere on Third Road. Yet another complex: Just in case you thought the removal of the bars along Soi 6/1 meant Pattaya was finally starting to scale down the number of boozatoriums in Fun Town, well I’m sorry to disappoint you, but just down Second Road, not far from the English fayre of Greg’s Kitchen, the ostentatiously-named Queen’s Park Plaza complex should be ready for business in the next few weeks. According to the sign out the front, the place will have beer boozers, an ogling den, nosheries, massage facilities, and a karaoke lounge. Talk about trying to be all things to all people. I’m surprised there isn’t a child-minding centre and an old people’s rest home on the site as well. Revaluation: Tony, the short-order spatula wielder in the Renoir’s upscale noshery (Soi Day-Night 2, in the Flamingo Hotel) left the place some weeks ago and management decided to reduce the impost on the daily four-course special menu from 249 to 175 baht. I’ve been in a few times since and the quality of the vittles remains at a high level and, as far as ambience goes, makes it a terrific venue to take a girlfriend or mistress. The munching den is closed on Tuesday’s. Early classes: For those wishing to partake of cheap liquid refreshments in an air-conditioned atmosphere, the Classroom ogling den (Pattayaland Soi 2) is offering a three-hour happy hour zone from 3:00 p.m. until 6:00 p.m. with amber fluid, house liver wasters, Thai rotgut and lolly water at just 59 baht. Vale, Big Tony: Tony Marotta, better known to his circle of friends as Tony Tuna, the big lug who ran the Uncle Charlie’s nosh-house in Soi Honey and was a regular in The Alamo boozer in Soi 8, died on March 11 of heart failure. The former New York copper was just 61 years old. Our sympathies and best wishes go out to his wife and family. Fair’s fare: One of the most contentious arguments among Pattaya expats and regulars is the two-tiered pricing system imposed by the baht bus drivers who ply the standard route along Beach Road and Second Road. While the fare for a Thai national is five baht, many drivers demand 10 baht from fair-skinned foreigners. It is nothing more than extortion. I stopped eating at a small Thai place in Soi 17 many years ago when a young Thai boy sitting at a table opposite me, eating the same dish as myself, was charged 10 baht less. He looked at the vendor and asked her why was I being charged more. Her reply was a succinct, “farang.” What she and the baht bus drivers forget is that it is because of foreign tourism that they are here in Pattaya earning, as a rule, a far more profitable living than back in their home village of Ban Kwai Yai. If you think I’m wrong, just compare the following short list and let me know where I’ve lost the plot: 1. Fares to and from Jomtien are pegged at 10 baht, whether you are a Thai or a foreigner. Fair. 2. The fare for a bus to Ekkamai or Morchit from the north Pattaya bus station is 90 baht, whether you are a Thai or a foreigner. Fair. 3. Fares on the BTS in Bangkok are clearly marked and apply equally whether you are a Thai or a foreigner. Fair. 4. Fares on public transport buses in Bangkok and other Thai cities are also the same for Thais and foreigners. Fair. 5. Price differential. Consider the trip by an air-conditioned mini-bus from Hat Yai to Songhkla- a distance of around 30 kilometres- and being dropped off anywhere you ask for 19 baht. Now, consider a trip in an open-sided songthaew a distance of around two kilometres (from South Pattaya Road to Big C) and being threatened either verbally and/or physically if you don’t hand over 10 baht. Extortion? My e-mail address is: nightmarch@hotmail.com Author of Pattaya "Patpong on steroids" No reproduction without specific reference to: nightmarch@hotmail.com nightmarch@hotmail.com

I put it in for you. It's not very good though as all id pics get resized to a square 100x100 pixels. Your animation is very wide and not very high so it comes out distorted. If you look in your profile, you'll see how I did it.

Sorry for the delay in replying Hilly. I seem to have missed this post first time round. The short answer is no. The board software does not respond properly to standard html. You would have to modify it to the board format etc. Then you would have to seperatly upload the pics and change the url imbedded in the html to the correct new address of those pics.

I don't think you will be able to do that Shilo. Firstly the vid is in PAL format which will not play on an American TV and secondly it is in a non-standard DVD format. It is do-able but you need some fancy software to do the conversions.

Elecard MPEG2 Video Decoder v. 2.0 Demo build 2104 (893,642 bytes, ZIP) HTTP Download, U.S. Primary (it is recasting) HTTP Download, Russia Either one of those should work. I haven't tried it myself though. If that fails you could try downloading Zoom Player from http://www.inmatrix.com This palyer plays just about anything and is actually written by a board member. It's free. Pete

You can do it for yourself. Just go to the links section and click on add - follow the instructions.

Fancy a poke with your pig: The Spicy Girls ogling den (Pattayaland Soi 1) is having a Panda party on Saturday night March 22, starting at 7:00 p.m. Patrons are not required to dress up in anything more formal than the usual jeans and t-shirt, but those who so desire may come dressed in the garb of any type of forest dwelling or domesticated creature they desire. No prizes, but you might give someone a good laugh. The usual buffet, featuring ox-loast and a pig in a poke will keep you well fed and standard happy hour prices will apply. Seconds out, round five: Mark down Wednesday night March 26 for the fifth in a series of dance contests conducted by the Diamond ogling den (Soi Diamond, Walking Street). Kicking off at around 9:30 p.m., this will be the first time owner Tee has tried his luck with a mid-week contest, but considering Diamond is now the only den doing this sort of thing, it should prove to be as successful as the previous four. In between birthday suit style gyrations, there will also be a sexy fashion show, so the action should be virtually non-stop from the kick-off. Eureka! I’ve found it: If Archimedes were alive today he wouldn’t be launching himself out of the bath over a simple discovery like hydrostatics, instead he’d be eternally grateful if he could discover the holy grail of female sexual satisfaction; that elusive, orgasmic delight about which women’s magazines since the 1970s have raved: namely the G-Spot. Poor old Archimedes ended up on the pointy end of a Roman sword, but I’m happy to inform readers that I have found the G-Spot, and it’s a lounge lizard libation room located at the front of The Weekender sleeping palace, opposite Soi 3 on Second Road, next door to the Sabai Room bathing salon. Sometimes when you walk into a new joint your gut feelings tell you whether or not it’s going to be successful. In the case of G-Spot, which officially opened for business on March 1, even though it was far from completed, my impression was that here was a place that will rival established venues like The Winchester (Jomtien), Buffalo Bar (Third Road) and the Harley Bar (Soi 17). Considering it’s nowhere near any of the aforementioned trio, it should be able to stand alone and attract good business from the north Pattaya-Naklua area. Don’t let the sun go down on me: According to the latest jottings from Deadly Derek of The Clinic couch potatoes sports emporium (Soi Yamato), the founding partner in the long-established Rising Sun noshery/boozer/sleeping den, in the same soi, has sold out to a Londoner. Improvements are expected to both the rooms and the boozer. Front end loading: My thanks to all those who took the time to respond to my piece about the Happy ogling den (Walking Street) whereby some of the dancing maidens were telling prospective long-term and even short-term customers that they had to cough up more than the bar fine if the sweet young thing was to be allowed to leave the den on their arm. The chrome pole molesters were demanding customers pay the stipend they required up-front to the mamasan before they would go and change into suitable street attire. According to the response I received, it does seem as though the practice is quite rife in Happy and has been going on for some time. For example, one respondent wrote: ‘That happened to me only at that bar…during April 2001...I…asked for LT. She said yes and then the mamasan came over with a pad and BF and fee totalling around 2,600 was presented. I was totally insulted and after all I've heard waived both of them off with no negotiation or another glance.’ Another replied: ‘Yes, mate, in April 2002 I had the same experience. I was required to pay up front before taking N… out for a short while’. Yet another respondent claimed, ‘I came across this at the end of Jan 03... A friend of mine was here for the first time and had spotted a lady he fancied. One of the ‘male mamasans’ came over and he asked him how much for the lady. 3000 baht he was told. I said to him, hold a minute; let’s ask the girl how much she wants. The girl spoke little English but after my limited Thai, she only wanted 1500 baht. That plus a bar fine of 500 baht. Who was going to pocket the 1000 baht profit?’ Finally, ‘that's exactly what was tried on my Aussie mate on Wednesday night at the above mentioned establishment. The fee was to be 3000 baht, non negotiable - when he tried to negotiate - they weren't interested. So he walked away.’ That said, I’ve also been informed that the traditional 500 baht bar fine, with no up-front fees, is also continuing. So maybe sometimes the ‘pay-before-you-play’ is merely an ambit kick-off and if a punter shows reluctance then the old-style method of transaction is trotted out. Happy little beavers: The Giligins ogling den (Pattayaland Soi 1) is looking to fight back in the battle for custom with Walking Street by introducing a happy hour on March 1 from 7:00-9:00 p.m. Liver wasters (including shooters) and lolly water retail at 50 baht while bottled amber fluid goes off at 60 baht. The draught amber remains at 50 baht all night, every night. A party on March 9 was held to celebrate their second anniversary. Elvis still holds court most nights and although, like most dens operators, he’d like to have another six or eight chrome pole molesters, a couple of those who are stroking the tubing are easy on the eye. Emergency’s had a coronary: It looks as though the Emergency ogling den has become the first victim of the resurgence of Walking Street in Pattayaland Soi 2, closing its doors at the end of February. The whisper is that the Misty’s den, located right next door, is interested in snapping up the lease. Still great value: The management of the Club Electric Blue ogling den (Walking Street) has increased their 7:30-8:30 p.m. happy hour price on liver wasters and Thai rotgut from 10 to 25 baht, which still makes it the cheapest place in town for those who like their women as nature intended. From out of the Whisper Factory: It’s being said that the Gang’s Pub gobble-and-go boozer in Soi 6 has changed hands with a well-known man-with-a-battered-bike taking over the lease. In recent times many dine and dash establishments in Soi 6 have struggled to attract customers, and it will be interesting to see if certain Harley-Davidson aficionados now start parking up out the front of Gang’s. My e-mail address is: nightmarch@hotmail.com Author of Pattaya "Patpong on steroids" No reproduction without specific reference to: nightmarch@hotmail.com nightmarch@hotmail.com

I'm not sure about China, but Min's Travel, opposite Marine Disco on Walking Street got me a Vietnamese Visa once. It took about a week.

You can also get a taxi but it's around 500 baht.

Songkran is the Thai New Year. It is celebrated throughout Thailand and is particulary vigourous in Pattaya and Chiang Mai. The official dates are 13 and 14 April. These are a national holidays. Pattaya has a week long festival starting on the 13th and finishing on the 19th. As the week progresses the celebrations get more and more vigourous with the last day being biggest by far. The catch with Songkran is that the traditional way to celebrate was to sprinkle water on other people. This has now denigrated into all out water fights. Some people join in and have a lot of fun, while others try to avoid the mayhem but tend to get drenched anyway. If you want to see what it is like, download the Songkran video in the FLB Videos section. Not for everyone but there is lots of fun to be had if you join in.

The 38 is for Pattaya landlines, not needed when dialing a mobile. From the us dial your international access code (011) I think, the 66 for Thailand and then 615 xxx. The zero at the front of the 615 is for local access. +66 615 xxxx Is that clear ???

Time for remedial action: Ever since the ogling dens of Walking Street commenced their renaissance, chrome pole palaces in places like Pattayaland Soi's 1 and 2 and further afield have suffered from reduced custom. Most are now relying on regulars for their staple income, with walk-in-off-the-street types making a quick comparison with the dens of Walking Street and keeping right on going. Most places complain of a lack of sufficient dancers to hug the chrome poles (then again, this has been the case with every joint since the beginning of time) and in many places their drinks prices just don't ‘cut it' by comparison with the imposts asked in many Walking Street dens. Many punters have said to me, "why the hell would I go anywhere else when I can look at [think of a number between 30 and 70] sexy dancers and pay just [think of an amount between 9 and 45 baht] for the privilege?" It's also hard to argue against when the average price for a lady drink in most ogling dens in Walking Street is around 85-95 baht, yet in some joints elsewhere the ask for a gobful of lolly water for a dancer goes as high as 119 baht. Get real. Close run contest, yet again: The fourth in the regular monthly series of Dance Contests conducted at the Diamond ogling den (Soi Diamond, off Walking Street), on Friday February 21, resulted in a close finish even though the field was limited this time to just 11 contestants representing five chrome pole palaces. The winner, by just one point, was a dancer from the Kitten Club (Pattayaland Soi 2) who nudged out a dancing maiden from What's Up (Soi 15, off Walking Street). It was the first time the girls from What's Up had failed to take out the 5,000 baht first prize. Third-placed was a dancer from Honey (Walking Street) while the winner of the Miss Flower contest, worth 3,000 baht, was one of the entrants from Peppermint (Walking Street). Bonus for Weight Watchers: The Prime Minister's much-vaunted war against illegal drugs may not yet have nailed the real king-pins of the trade (gee, why are we not surprised?), but there's no doubt the campaign has had at least three major results so far. First, a massive increase in the number of people turning up with serious lead poisoning, much of it caused by close association with the types of people their mothers would have said were a bad influence. No honour among thieves as the cliché goes. Second, the price of illegal narcotics has, so I'm led to believe, increased quite dramatically since the crackdown began. Third- and most disturbing- has anyone noticed how a number of previously wafer-thin chrome pole molesters have started to put on a bit of beef around their previously almost-invisible mid-riffs? Far be it from me to suggest that many of these sweet young up-country maidens would have resorted to partaking of illegal substances to maintain their model-like figures, but it is interesting to note that the management of the Spicy Girls ogling den (Pattayaland Soi 1) recently drug-tested their dancing troupe and gave marching orders to a few lasses after they tested positive. I wonder how many girls in some other dens would pass a snap drug test? Two years of worm juice: The Tequila Reef noshery and beans-means-fart establishment (Soi 7) celebrated its second anniversary on Saturday night March 1 with an all-you-can-stuff-into-your-face buffet priced at 195 baht. Mine host Rambling Rob used the occasion to unveil his new smoked BBQ menu. Changed and I'm different: The Dollhouse (Walking Street) is undergoing a few changes with former mamasan Phung having returned after a stint at Club Electric Blue while TJ, the manager, decided to move into the meeting and greeting duties at Carousel (Soi Diamond), kicking off with a big party on Monday March 3. My girl lollipop: The new Lolipop ogling den commenced business with a soft opening on Friday night February 28. Located just down the road from the long-running Classroom 2000 in Soi 2 it occupies the area of the ill-fated Zebra Plaza. Hopalong turns five: Lasse, the Sexy Swede, mine host of the Globetrotter noshery, boozer and sleeping palace (the lane between Soi 7 and Central Road) celebrated his fifth anniversary at the helm of his establishment with a party on February 24. Unfortunately, Lasse was unable to really get into the swing of things as he was poleaxed by an idiot on a motorbike while crossing Central Road in front of Tops a few weeks ago. Lasse's right foot was badly broken and required pins. Needless to say, the motor bike rider fled the scene. Finger back in the dyke: The Dutch Bandido has finally re-surfaced, taking on the job of meeter and greeter in the fairly new X-Ray ogling den (Soi Zero; near Pattaya Bowl). The dancing maidens are friendly, no great beauties among them, as is to be expected; this is, after all, well away from the shipping lanes of Walking Street. The air-con is nice and refreshing, the lighting is brighter than many other dens and the music's good. On the down side, drinks prices for bottled amber nectar and liver wasters are not cheap at 95 baht (lady drinks are the same), but draught is good value at 45 baht all night. Worth wandering in if you happen to be in the Naklua-Soi 2 region. Out of the Rumour Mill: Big changes are afoot at the pink end of town with the Studio Group (Soi Day-Night 2) supposedly sold and it is being said that the working boys are to be replaced with working girls. Certainly, the big sign proclaiming ‘Studio Group' has been removed. Watch this space. My e-mail address is: nightmarch@hotmail.com Author of Pattaya "Patpong on steroids" No reproduction without specific reference to: nightmarch@hotmail.com

Loser Check your email Pete

It should not have an mpa extention. Change it to mpg. Monkeyman, I'm not sure where in the world you are (its time you entered your details on the members map) but if you are in North America, remember they are PAL system videos and will not play on most NTSC (American System) TVs, unless you have a multi-standard TV. Make sure you set your DVD program to make PAL VCDs.

RTF FAQ ;D. First board in the members section, has full instructions.

These pages do not actually exist [smiley=Eyecrazy.gif] Well they do but are generated on the fly by something called a script. When you hit your back button you are going back to a page that was created just for you. A number of factors control how long the page stays in existance however on script based pages it is not usually a good idea to use the back button. This board has bread crumbs at the top of every page. On this page they look like this - FLB Bar Pattaya Pages «Open to Everyone Forum» (No bar girl discussion here please) Technical problems or questions. Post reply ( Re: Page expiry ) With an icon of a folder beside them. Post reply is the page I am actualy typing into now, Tech Problems is the board I am on, Open to Everyone is the actual Forum and FLB Pattaya Pages is the top level of the board. These are all clickable links and will take you where you want to go quickly and update things like the new message icon as well. Using these links is much more efficient than clicking the back button and will always work.

Reminder: The Diamond ogling den (Soi Diamond, Walking Street) will be holding its fourth Dance Contest on Friday night February 21, kicking off at 9:00 p.m. Thai time (read: 9:45 p.m.). The first three contests have all been taken out by chrome pole molesters from the What’s Up ogling den (Soi 15, off Walking Street) so it will be interesting to see if they can maintain their unbeaten record. Two years on and still going strong: The Blues Factory late night boogie barn (Soi Lucky Star, off Walking Street) will be celebrating its second anniversary this March and the concept has deservedly found its niche in a tough market. I spent some time in the place on Valentine’s night and it was almost standing room only. The band seems to be constantly upgrading their material and the general atmosphere is friendly and laid-back. In fact, it’s probably one of the best venues to take a wife / girlfriend in Fun Town. Out in the boonies: The management of the Wallis rock and roll beer boozer (Soi 2) has introduced a pair of happy hours to entice punters onto their bar-stools. Every night from 6:00 p.m. until 9:00 p.m. and again from 1:30 a.m. until closing time most liver wasters are flogged off at 45 baht while the amber nectar slides into condoms at 50 baht. A live band kicks off at 8:30 p.m. and pounds out the sounds until closing. Front end loading: Being the sort of person who obtains his jollies by vicarious means, I haven’t been able to determine whether the following is common practice or just a few one-offs. It appears as though some of the dancing maidens in the Happy ogling den (Walking Street) are telling prospective long-term and even short-term customers that they will have to cough up more than the bar fine if the sweet young thing is to be allowed to leave the den on their arm. The dancing damsels are claiming that customers must also pay the money they want up front to the management before they can go and change into more suitable street attire. What this effectively means is there is no room for negotiation, just pay a set fee or go elsewhere, even if the customer claims he’s only taking the damsel for a candlelight dinner and a tango at a nightclub. I watched as one Fun Town expat peeled off 1,500 baht and handed it to the mamasan before going off with the dancer, while I was told of another occasion when a newcomer to the fleshpots of Pattaya shelled out 3,000 baht for the right to take a young lass out for a long-term organ recital. That said, I’ve also been informed that the traditional 500 baht bar fine, with no up-front fees, is also continuing. So maybe the ‘pay-before-you-play’ is merely an ambit kick-off and if a punter shows reluctance then the old-style method of transaction is trotted out. I can’t help but wonder if someone is taking a cut from all this, at the expense of the customer in the initial stages, but ultimately from the dancer. I’d be interested to hear if other people have had a similar experience in Happy or anywhere else for that matter. Bulldozed into oblivion: The perils of doing business here in Fun Town were yet again drummed home when Denis the Menace, the popular mine host of the OK Corral (Soi Skaw Beach), informed me of the dramas he’s experiencing after finding out that almost half his boozatorium is on land not owned by the lessor. The first he knew of any problems was when an earth-moving device turned up at the end of his beer garden with the intention of digging it up. It transpires that Soi Skaw Beach and its surrounds are about to undergo some major changes. According to Denis, the long-established Made in Thailand outlet on Second Road is due to be demolished and two new sois will be pushed through to Soi Buakhow. A row of shop-houses will be built along the new sois and a beer bar complex consisting of 80 boozers will arise at the Soi Buakhow end. Down in Soi Skaw Beach, a hotel is set to be constructed opposite the OK Corral and after the Cupido complex (The Hangar) is torn down, a shopping mall will be constructed. Denis will lose approximately half his boozer and he tells me he needs to do a lot of re-construction to make it functional. Hardly surprisingly, the lessor has refused to drop the rent or offer any form of compensation, despite the fact he must have known all along that the lease was technically invalid. Mind you, considering the fact the building has existed on the encroached land since at least 1987 the lessor probably thought he’d earned ‘squatter’s’ rights. More than a name: According to Mother Tongue by Bill Bryson the name for the noshery and boozer Pig and Whistle (Soi 7) is ‘said to have its roots in peg (a drinking vessel) and wassail (a festive drink). Thought you’d like to know. My e-mail address is: nightmarch@hotmail.com Author od Pattaya "Patpong on steroids" No reproduction without specific reference to: nightmarch@hotmail.com

It means that I stuffed up [smiley=banghead.gif]. It should be OK now.

Your not going to believe this but . . . it has nothing to do with the BJs that you are thinking of. The first bar in Pattaya was set up on the corner of that Soi and Beach Rd by an American ex-serviceman named BJ. He called the bar BJs and the Thai's decided to call the soi Soi BJ. I believe that bjs were never available at BJs but I might be wrong ;D - anyone out there ever try? The bar closed a few years ago as BJ said the rent was getting too expensive. I believe he is still running a restaurant/bar in North Pattaya somewhere.

Fashion on Valentines: The Diamond ogling den (Soi Diamond, Walking Street), run by the affable Tee, will be holding a Fashion Show on Valentine’s Day, Friday February 14, commencing at 11:00 p.m. The show is to be held in conjunction with a mob called FI Produce, which might sound like a company involved animal husbandry but I’m assured by Tee that they specialise in women’s apparel. A week later, February 21, Tee will conduct his fourth Dance Contest with the usual collection of chrome pole huggers being drafted in from around the various bars of Fun Town. Tee has gradually refined the workings of the Dance Contests and it’s no surprise his chrome pole palace is usually standing room only by the time the first round is in full swing. The Emperor’s new clothes: Almost two years ago the newly-installed Interior Minister Purely Puritanical commenced his Orwellian-sounding social order campaign. He has since departed the Interior Ministry and to all intents and purposes about the only mark he appears to have left is 2:00 a.m. closing for ogling dens. In recent times it is noticeable that the restraints on trade have been relaxed to such an extent that there are now legions of dancing damsels in a multitude of ogling dens wearing not much more than knee-length boots and an occasional smile. In fact this unofficial laissez-faire style of business now means that the ogling public can see more maps of Tasmania -think of triangles- than was the case before the advent of the social order campaign in 2001. Perverts paradise No. 1: Big Andy’s new baby, Club Electric Blue (Walking Street) without a doubt is leading the way as far as dancing damsels in boots, baubles and bugger-all else is concerned. He’s sensibly modified the bikinis that those lasses who are a little shyer than the others don, so a little more light shines through and customers don’t need quite so much imagination to determine what lies beneath the surface. The music is good, with a variety of rock and roll and some techno and although the glass floor seems almost superfluous now that the majority of dancers seem keen to display their collective wares, it nevertheless remains a sought-after bum warming position. Perverts paradise No. 2: This has to be the Polo ogling den (upstairs, Walking Street). With draught amber nectar at just 60 baht before 10:00 p.m. and a series of non-stop shows, some tasteful, others tongue-in-cheek and a few we’ve seen elsewhere, it’s definitely a gynaecologists delight. The first so-called Amazing Dance Show Contest featured only three Pattaya-based ogling dens (Kittens, Living Dolls Showcase and What’s Up) with two dancers competing from each, but was unique in commissioning the services of eight gorgeous -and I do not use that adjective loosely- Bangkok magazine models to strut their stuff. After seeing how the Pattaya girls revved up the audience with wanton displays of their anatomy, the Bangkok models declined to go head-to-head and simply came back for a subdued but nonetheless worthwhile catwalk-style presentation. The risqué dance contest was won by the team from Living Dolls Showcase who collected 10,000 baht for their efforts while the runners-up were the girls from What’s Up who pocketed 7,000 baht and the pussies from Kittens snaffled 3,000 baht. Perverts paradise No. 3: The Peppermint ogling den (upstairs, Walking Street) is still holding on to the Number One chrome pole palace in Fun Town position, despite the challenges of Polo and Club Electric Blue. Happy hour still runs from 7:30 to 9:30 p.m. with house liver wasters, Thai rotgut and amber draught at 35 baht and the joint fairly heaves with punters from opening until closing. Correction: Some time ago I wrote that the ogling den in Fun Town with the longest name was Don’t Go Home Alone Tonight. However, I’ve since been informed that the establishment, which has now turned itself into a late night boogie barn is in fact simply called X. The sign out the front has a giant red ‘X’ emblazoned on a white background with the phrase ‘Don’t go home alone tonight’ written underneath in bold black letters. Oh well, looks like my application to join Mensa will be put in the idiot’s basket yet again. Achtung, achtung: The long-awaited Schlemmer Garten munching den (Second Road, opposite the Lek Hotel and in front of the Fight Night Complex) opened for business on January 28. The menu boasts around 300 dishes with Thai, German, English and other European-style nosh at great value prices. Free-spending in Freeway: The Freeway ogling den (Pratamnak Road) may be a little out of the way for some, but it’s well worth sidetracking to if you haven’t yet caught the underwater swimming show for which the joint is justifiably noted. As a chrome pole palace it doesn’t rate alongside the best that Walking Street has to offer, but the dancing maidens are friendly and with most liquid refreshments retailing between 70 and 95 baht it’s not hard on the pocket. Lady drinks are 95 baht and the underwater show starts around 9:30 p.m. each night. On Wednesday and Saturday nights there is a free buffet and the food, both European and Thai, is excellent. The buffet starts at 7:00 p.m. The only real negative in the place appears on the back of the laminated drinks menu sitting on each table. After a brief introduction came a list that purported to determine whether you, the customer, was either a ‘Cheap Charlie’ or a ‘Real Star’. For example, you are classified as a ‘Cheap Charlie’ if you only leave between one and five baht as a tip. On the other hand, you are a ‘Real Star’ if you spend upwards of 5,000 baht a night. So, to all of you reading this, the management of Freeway seems to be inferring that only those who are willing to part with 5,000 baht a night or more are worthy of respect. The rest of us mere monetary mortals should hang our heads in shame I suppose. I find this type of elitist psycho-babble offensive and at odds with the ostensibly egalitarian nature of Pattaya and I strongly suggest to the management of Freeway they find something more appropriate to put on the back of their drinks menus. It’s not burnt, it’s the way it’s cooked: Down Jomtien way there’s a nice little noshery named D. D’s serving up black spaghetti and fettuccine at an average of 70 baht a dish. The place is just across the road from the Jomtien Complex Condo and has a cosy, relaxed atmosphere in a clean setting. Service can be a little tardy, but the food is tasty and a little different. The Lion roars no more: In a 1992 Guide published to help U.S. service personnel orientate themselves with Pattaya, the Red Lion boozer (Walking Street) was touted as offering ‘typical English fare, as well as pool, backgammon and daily golfing tours.’ For many years now the Red Lion has exhibited all the signs of a geriatric with senile dementia and so it was no surprise to see the place close down and construction of a new…drum roll please…open beer bar complex rise from the rubble. Named the Pompet complex the owners seem to have a little nostalgia as the old faded Red Lion sign remains above the new neon bright lights. Out of the Rumour Mill: 1. Word on the street is that the beer boozers and Sierra Tango joints at the Second Road end of Soi 6/1 will be knocked down and replaced by shophouses. Most of the affected boozatoriums are set to move into the new Grand Sole clutch of bars just down the road. 2. The Tourist Police office on Second Road is reportedly set to move after its lease runs out in March. The new location is currently a secret. 3. The Cupido Entertainment Complex (top of Soi Skaw Beach) is rumoured to be still facing the developers wrecking ball, with bookmakers offering odds about just when the rumble of bulldozers will replace the dulcet sounds of shrill maidens. The current favourite is April. My e-mail address is: nightmarch@hotmail.com Author od Pattaya "Patpong on steroids" No reproduction without specific reference to: nightmarch@hotmail.com

The current chat room does not have the facility to notify the forum when members are present. I could change it for one that does but there does not appear to be much demand for it. As its a few hours work to do, some extra encouragement here might give me the motivation ;D